Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex

Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex

by Kat Harris
Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex

Sexless in the City: A Sometimes Sassy, Sometimes Painful, Always Honest Look at Dating, Desire, and Sex

by Kat Harris

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Overview

Discover a renewed biblical vision for sex, singleness, and relationships, and transform into an empowered woman of faith equipped to navigate today's dating culture with vision, clarity, and freedom.

Let's face it: being single in today's culture as a woman of faith can be a STRUGGLE FEST. But it doesn't have to be. With real talk and straight wisdom, speaker, podcaster, and founder of The Refined Woman Kat Harris says it's time for a new conversation about singleness, sex, and desire.

Growing up at the height of the purity movement, Kat knew this much: good Christians don't have sex until marriage. But approaching 30 and thrust into the New York City dating scene, she found a set of rules was not a compelling enough reason to keep her clothes on. Caught between purity culture's rules and popular culture's do what feels good, Kat began a multi-year journey searching for answers to the biggest questions about sexuality and faith:

  • What does the Bible really say about sex?
  • Why does almost everyone deal with some sort of sexual shame?
  • But really—what's a single girl to do with her sexual desire?
  • What if we never get married . . . then what?

It turns out Kat was asking questions that countless women were dying to ask but didn't know they had the permission to do so. Hungry for clarity, she researched, wrestled, and discovered a God who wasn't afraid or ashamed of sex and desire as she thought He might be. In actuality, God created sex and desire within humanity and called it very good. Now she believes God desires to restore a generation disillusioned with purity culture and Christian dating, discouraged about their singleness, ashamed of their sexual desire, and uncertain how to practically walk this season out well.

Join Kat on her messy, sometimes painful, and always honest journey to discovering God's heart for sexuality, desire, singleness, and our purpose within it all.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780310361039
Publisher: Zondervan
Publication date: 04/20/2021
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 520,714
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.70(d)

About the Author

Kat Harris currently lives in Brooklyn, New York. From Bible major to editorial photographer to educator to host of The Refined Collective Podcast, and now author, she’s never shied away from doing things her way. Through her online platform, The Refined Woman, her vision is to be a voice of truth and hope while equipping women to walk in wholeness, worthiness, and freedom. She fiercely loves her big Texas family, and is indebted to her faithful community scattered all over the world. She believes in the power of story, and that every opportunity is an opportunity for growth if we choose it to be.

Table of Contents

Introduction xiii

Phase 1 The Deconstruction

1 My Breaking Point 3

2 Modest Is Hottest 14

Reframing Sexual Responsibility

3 Guys Don't Like Girls like Me 25

Is My Femininity a Liability?

4 The Time I Became a Feminist 33

God Loves Strong Women

5 Submit to My Husband … What Does That Even Mean? 45

Submission, Personal Agency, and Gender Roles

Phase 2 The Reconstruction

6 Stay Out Till You Make Out 59

The Myth That You Are Your Desire

7 A Real-Life Prude Unicorn 67

The Myth That You Need to Shut Down Your Desire

8 Stepping into the Gray 75

Who Am I?

9 Two Sides of the Same Coin 81

Your Sexuality Isn't Bad; It's God Designed

10 Turned On 87

Embracing Your Sexual Desire 101

Phase 3 The Practical

11 Sexual Healing 99

Sensuality and the Practice of Presence

12 My Dirty Little Secret 108

Is Masturbation a Sin?

13 Let's Talk about Sex 124

What the Bible Really Has to Say about Sex

14 Stop Shoulding All over Yourself 137

Owning Your Sexual Why

15 Blurred Lines 144

Identifying Your Physical Boundaries in Dating

16 Work on Your Ish 154

If You Don't Heal Your Past, It Will Haunt You

17 The One That Got Away 166

The Price We Pay for Low Self-Worth

18 Dating Is a Curb, Not a Cliff 175

Taking the Awkward Out of Dating

19 Now What? 186

Acknowledgments 195

Notes 199

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