Confessions of an Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption

Confessions of an Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption

by Mike Berry
Confessions of an Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption

Confessions of an Adoptive Parent: Hope and Help from the Trenches of Foster Care and Adoption

by Mike Berry

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Overview

Know That You Are Not Alone on This Journey

Adopting or fostering a child brings its own unique set of challenges only another parent facing the same uphill climb could possibly understand. From parenting children with traumatic pasts, to dealing with attachment issues, to raising a child with special needs, it can sometimes be a struggle just getting through the day.

Mike Berry knows the loneliness and isolation you can easily feel in your particular parenting role—because he's been there. He's still there, and he wants to give you the hope and encouragement you so desperately need.

There are plenty of how-to guides out there on parenting, but this one-of-a-kind book is specifically designed to address your needs as a parent of an adopted or foster child. With a refreshing dose of honesty, empathy, and care, you'll discover you are definitely not alone on your journey and God has a very special plan for you and your family.


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780736970846
Publisher: Harvest House Publishers
Publication date: 02/06/2018
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 977,493
File size: 1 MB

About the Author

Mike Berry is cocreator of the award-winning blog Confessions of an Adoptive Parent and the adoptive and foster support site Oasis Community. He's also a contributing writer for Disney's babble.com and TheGoodMenProject.com. Mike and his wife, Kristin, have cared for dozens of children through foster care and have adopted all eight of their children.


Mike Berry is cocreator of the award-winning blog Confessions of an Adoptive Parent and the adoptive and foster support site Oasis Community. He's also a contributing writer for Disney's babble.com and TheGoodMenProject.com. Mike and his wife, Kristin, have cared for dozens of children through foster care and have adopted all eight of their children.

Table of Contents

Introduction 11

Part 1 You Are Not Alone

1 Beginning with Hope 19

Identifying Your Expectations and Apprehensions

2 Jumping Off 39

The Joy and Struggle of Choosing This Journey

3 Learning to Swim 49

What to Do When You're In Over Your Head

4 Me Too 59

Finding Strength in Relationships

5 I Didn't Sign Up for This 75

Learning to Accept Your New Normal

6 The Middle of the Wreckage 85

Discovering Hope Where You Least Expect It

7 You Are Not Alone 97

The Healing Power of Shared Experience

Part 2 Finding Hope

8 The Story of Your Scars 109

Redefining Failure

9 The Voices in Our Heads 129

Overcoming Spiritual Attacks

10 Limping Together 141

Building an Effective Support System

11 Behind Every Cloud 157

Finding Light in Dark Times

12 Legends Versus Legacies 169

Your Influence Goes Deeper Than You Know

13 Remember Jeremiah 181

God Has a Plan for Your Child

14 A Girl Named Renee 193

The Transforming Power of Love and Compassion

15 Hope Has Arrived 207

God's Beautiful Story in You

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

"As an adoptee, I'm always a little leery of books about adoption because I don't know what angle they will take. Will they make adoptees sound like problem children? Will they come across bleak or disparaging? But after reading this book, I feel refreshed and encouraged. It's real and honest but filled with hope. I recommend it to any foster or adoptive parent (as well as adoptees!)."
Tony Wolf, author of Serve One

"As the father of three biological children, I never knew the challenges or the amazingness of being an adoptive or foster parent. In Confessions of an Adoptive Parent, Mike takes you on a journey filled with hope and accurately captures the beauty of being an adoptive parent. You will laugh, you will cry, and you will be filled with a sense of deep hope. It's a must-read for anyone on this journey, or considering it!"
Jackie Bledsoe, speaker and author of The 7 Rings of Marriage

"With rare transparency, Mike Berry reveals the raw realities of parenting adopted and foster kids. What a gift to adoptive parents to find validation and know they are not alone! This is a must-read for every adoptive and foster parent who needs edification and encouragement. Highly recommended."
Sherrie Eldridge, author of 20 Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew

"As Mike says, 'this journey is not meant to be lived alone.' Thanks to this book, it doesn't have to be. Confessions of an Adoptive Parent provides guidance and desperately needed comfort, healing and hope to parents who are struggling. I am grateful to reap the wisdom of Mike's authentic testimony; his words are laced with grace, conviction, and reassurance. Mike's transparency weaves together stories of pain that has been lifted by abundant purpose, and through his encouraging book, we come to recognize our real need for Jesus in our struggles and the intense beauty found in the mess."
Courtney Westlake, author of A Different Beautiful

"Doing good is simple and significant, but that does not mean it's easy. Mike reminds us that caring for vulnerable kids is in fact hard. However, he gives us the practical tools we need to find comfort and success as we struggle to love and bring hope to those who are in need of a healthy family."
Chris Marlow, founder and CEO of Help One Now, author of Doing Good Is Simple

"In Confessions of an Adoptive Parent, Mike Berry speaks right into that place seldom spoken of outside support groups huddled in church basements or conferences for foster and adoptive parents. His words are helpful, his words are true, and his words help us see our lives and work as parents in the proper perspective. Even though the road is long and sometimes grueling, Mike continually leads us back to the hope we have not only for our children's futures, but for all of us in Christ."
Amanda Bacon, co-creator of TheMasterpieceMom.com

"This book contains the words adoptive parents long for, plus many of the statements we are afraid to voice ourselves. Confessions of an Adoptive Parent is validating, reassuring, encouraging, and clearly written by someone who has slogged through the trenches of adoption and is still standing there, hip-deep, reaching out to help the stumbling. Mike Berry knows grief and grit, and he speaks our language."
Shannon Guerra, author of Upside Down: Understanding and Supporting Attachment in Adoptive Families

"Mike Berry shares his journey as a foster and adoptive parent with unmatched candor, humor, and insight. From uncertainty to optimism, reality to discouragement, and finally to a deep reservoir of hope, he walks parents through his story, giving us courage for our own. Confessions of an Adoptive Parent is a fresh reminder to parents in all phases of the foster and adoptive journey that we are not alone. There is a community ready to surround us and a loving God who will never leave us."
Lisa Qualls, writer/speaker/encourager at OneThankfulMom.com

"I greatly value Mike Berry's frank and winsome voice. Mike is both insightful and funny, gutsy and compassionate, and he consistently brings together big-picture perspective with nitty-gritty practicality. I imagine most all of us wish we could have a friend like Mike in our corner, especially amid difficult foster and adoption journeys. Through this book, we all can."
Jedd Medefind, president, Christian Alliance for Orphans, author of Becoming Home

"As an adoptive dad of three, a nonprofit adoptions attorney, and founder of a national conference for foster and adoptive parents, by far the most common thing I hear from other foster/adoptive parents is 'We feel so alone' or 'We feel like nobody "gets" us.' If that's you, this book is for you! The word 'Confessions' in this title is perfect—Mike Berry is not just writing words on a page, he's telling his story. And I'll bet you'll find parts of it are your story too. Mike's been where you are...in fact, he is still there right along with you! If you need to be encouraged, if you need to laugh, or if you need a reminder that your insane, jacked-up life as a foster/adoptive parent isn't so strange after all, read this book. You can thank me later."
Andrew Schneidler, nonprofit adoptions attorney, cofounder, the Refresh Conference

"Adoption is always close to the heart of God. Confessions of an Adoptive Parent is a beautifully written and thoughtfully illustrated book about the realities of one family's trials and victories. It is an inspirational story of pain, perseverance, courage, faith, and love. What a great read to help families understand this journey and to encourage them along the way."
Phil Littleton, president of Holt International Children's Services

“For many adoptive parents, their dreams of loving a child have become a nightmare. Mike Berry provides hope in the darkness in Confessions of an Adoptive Parent. He's navigated the confusing maze of therapists, specialists, and educators who try to help our kids. He's suffered rejection and turmoil under his own roof. He knows the price adoptive parents pay in their own health and marriages. This book is a lifeline for moms and dads who don't know if they can make it another day.”
Joanna Teigen, growinghometogether.com; co-author of 88 Great Daddy-Daughter Dates, A Mom's Prayers for Her Son, A Dad's Prayers for His Daughter, and Mr. & Mrs. Devotions for Couples

“Mike Berry’s book gives us a candid look at the joys and stresses of parenting children whose lives are complicated by toxic stress and prenatal exposure to alcohol. But he and his wife go beyond explanations of how these brain insults change children and teen’s lives. They have paved a path for others to follow—surviving, thriving, and finding God’s near help in parenting.

“I especially like this book because of the way that it includes “what to do” when parents feel that they are falling into the abyss or when there are true crises. He is unflinching and realistic…and hopeful. His integration of spiritual wisdom and everyday knowledge helps parents on every level, physical, emotional, and spiritual.

“I appreciated how Mike included family mistakes as well as successes. He helps us to learn from both. Mike and his wife give helpful advice for protecting their marriage and ways, to surround themselves with support. He considers other children in the family when one child is unsafe, describing parents’ difficult choices in an open manner.
 
“Thank you, Mike, for writing this book. It is unique and valuable. I heartily recommend it.”
Deborah Gray, MPA, LICSW, author of Promoting Healthy Attachments: Hands-on Techniques to Use with your Clients; Attaching in Adoption; Nurturing Adoptions; and Attaching with Love, Hugs, and Joy, and co-author of Games and Activities for Attaching with Your Child

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