Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

When it comes to adultery, never say, “It won’t happen to me.”

Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable.

With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain.

Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you:

  • How attractions can lead to affairs
  • Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs
  • The common ingredients of adultery
  • How to restore intimacy to your marriage
  • How to make wise, protective decisions


Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple.

Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs.

This book is the revised edition of Close Calls (2008)

1125778402
Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

When it comes to adultery, never say, “It won’t happen to me.”

Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable.

With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain.

Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you:

  • How attractions can lead to affairs
  • Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs
  • The common ingredients of adultery
  • How to restore intimacy to your marriage
  • How to make wise, protective decisions


Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple.

Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs.

This book is the revised edition of Close Calls (2008)

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Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

by Dave Carder
Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them

by Dave Carder

eBookSecond Edition (Second Edition)

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Overview

When it comes to adultery, never say, “It won’t happen to me.”

Just when you think your marriage is safe from adultery is when you may be the most vulnerable.

With eye-opening stories, clinical insights, and up-to-date data, Dave Carder reveals what adulterers learned the hard way—and what they want the rest of us to know to save us the pain.

Dave Carder, counselor and author of the bestselling Torn Asunder (100,000 in print), is a sought-after expert on issues of adultery. Here he helps you make your marriage adultery-proof by showing you:

  • How attractions can lead to affairs
  • Ways you may be vulnerable to affairs
  • The common ingredients of adultery
  • How to restore intimacy to your marriage
  • How to make wise, protective decisions


Marriage is too sacred to be taken casually. Affairs are a very real threat, and they can destroy lives and families. For this reason, Anatomy of an Affair should be on every church leader’s and marriage counselor’s required reading list, and in the home of every married couple.

Includes charts and assessments to understand and guard against affairs.

This book is the revised edition of Close Calls (2008)


Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780802496317
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Publication date: 09/05/2017
Sold by: Barnes & Noble
Format: eBook
Pages: 192
File size: 4 MB

About the Author

DAVE CARDER serves as Pastor of Counseling Ministries at First Evangelical Free Church of Fullerton, CA. His specialty is Adultery Recovery and Prevention for which he has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Network, Discovery Health, and The Learning Channel, has done training for the US Army and Navy, plus multiple tapings for The Tony Robbins Passion Project, Marriage Uncensored, 100 Huntley Street, Salvation Army Leadership Training, and the American Association of Christian Counselors. His interviews and articles have appeared in Ladies Home Journal, USA Today, The Counseling Connection, and various other magazines and journals. He is the author or co-author of Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, and Unlocking Your Family Patterns: Finding Freedom from a Hurtful Past. He holds the Michigan Limited License for Psychology and the California Marital and Family Therapy license, and has graduate degrees in Biblical Literature and Counseling Psychology. Dave and his wife, Ronnie, have been married 49 years, have four adult children, and eight grandchildren.

Dave Carder serves as pastor of counseling ministries at First Evangelical Free Church in Fullerton, California. His specialty is adultery recovery and prevention, for which he has appeared on The Oprah Winfrey Network, Discovery Health, and The Learning Channel; done training for the US Army and Navy; and made multiple tapings for The Tony Robbins Passion Project, Marriage Uncensored, 100 Huntley Street, Salvation Army Leadership Training, and the American Association of Christian Counselors. His interviews and articles have appeared in Ladies? Home Journal, USA Today, The Counseling Connection, and various other magazines and journals. He is the author or coauthor of Torn Asunder: Recovering from an Extramarital Affair, Close Calls: What Adulterers Want You to Know About Protecting Your Marriage, and Unlocking Your Family Patterns: Finding Freedom from a Hurtful Past.

He holds the Michigan Limited License for Psychology and The California Marital and Family Therapy license and has graduate degrees in biblical literature and counseling psychology. Dave and his wife, Ronnie, have been married 49 years and have 4 children and 8 grandchildren.

Table of Contents

Getting Started: A Note from the Author 9

Chapter 1 Five Classes of Emotional and Sexual Betrayal 13

Section 1 The Risks of Who You Know

Chapter 2 The Dangerous Partner Profile 35

Chapter 3 The Emotionally Charged Friendship 53

Chapter 4 The Old Adolescent Romance (or Secret Crush) 59

Chapter 5 The Seductive Personality Pattern 63

Section 2 The Risks Within Your Home

Chapter 6 The Stuff You Brought with You 75

Chapter 7 The Seasons You Pass Through 83

Chapter 8 The Story You Two Have Created 95

Chapter 9 The Style You Have Perfected 111

Chapter 10 The Dance Steps You Both Want to Change 123

Section 3 The Risk of Remodeling Your Relationship

Chapter 11 Attitudes Within and Without 139

Chapter 12 Activities That Reignite the Passion 155

Afterword 169

Appendix 177

Resources 181

Notes 187

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