The Mummy Lessons: The laugh-out-loud novel for all exhausted parents and parents-to-be

THE RULES

1) Try to sleep when the baby sleeps. (SO NEVER. EVER. UNTIL YOU ARE AN EMPTY WINE-SOAKED HUSK AND FALL DOWN DEAD IN THE BABY AISLE AT TESCO)

2) Try to eat when the baby sleeps. (SEE POINT ABOVE)

3) Try to get basic household chores done when the baby sleeps. (ABOVE!!)

4) Batch cook food and freeze in individual portions for easy re-heating. (OR DELIVEROO . . . WITH WINE. AND CRYING)

5) Try hiring a cleaner to take the pressure off. (OR JUST USE BABY WIPES)

6) Take time to shower or bat...