10 Creative Ways Books Can Help With Every New Year’s Resolution

When it comes to New Year’s resolutions, books have your back like no one else. Remember last year, when you vowed to exercise every day, but your best friend enticed you to watch every episode of Game of Thrones instead? Remember when you planned to eat healthier but your roommate kept baking cookies? Remember when you resolved to be less stressed but your mom called twice a day because she didn’t understand how to use her computer? See, everyone you know and love is out to foil your resolutions.
Books, on the other hand, will never betray you. In fact, when used creatively, books can help you succeed at every kind of New Year’s resolution. Except juice cleanses. We’re not really sure how books help with juice cleanses, except that their pages can absorb your tears of sadness and deprivation. To help you attain all your 2015 goals, we’ve listed 10 creative ways books can help with every resolution!
1. Get in shape
Forget the fad diets and the workout trends. Instead, pick up a 760-page Steinbeck omnibus (or two) and carry it with you everywhere. Lugging around a few pounds of hardcover-bound literature will give you the biceps, triceps, traps and delts you’ve always desired. Not hard-core enough for your 2015 fitness goals? Check out our 10 Workout Tips for Book Nerds.
2. Swear less
If you’re trying to be less of a potty mouth in 2015, books are your new best friends. Instead of slipping into unpardonable French, pick a few choice insults from your favorite novels. Not only will your everyday speech be PG, but it’s ever so much more effective to call someone, “You blithering idiot! . . . You festering gumboil! You fleabitten fungus! . . . You bursting blister! You moth-eaten maggot!” (from Matilda, by Roald Dahl).
3. Control Your Temper
Trying not to call people names? Intent on curbing your temper in 2015? Don’t just grit your teeth and count to a hundred. Cool your hotheadedness by always having a book handy, and telling yourself you’ll read 10 pages before you react. You’ll become so engrossed in the book, you’ll completely forget your sister-in-law was trying to start a fight.
4. Spend Less Money
If you’re watching your spending this year, books can do wonders for your wallet. Hide the $12 your grandmother sent you in the pages of a book. Promptly forget where you hid it, and voila, you’ve just saved yourself from spending $12 on stuff you don’t need.
5. Slow Down and Enjoy Life
With the hectic pace of life being what it is, many people these days are resolving to slow their pace and live life more deliberately. You know what really helps you move at a leisurely pace? Balancing a book on your head. That’ll slow you down for sure. Plus you’ll have excellent posture by the time 2016 rolls around.
6. Meet New People
If you’re an introvert with aspirations of being an extrovert, there’s no better way to meet people than bonding over books. Not the clubbing type? Be the book clubbing type, and instantly make wonderfully erudite friends who are not covered in glitter, vodka, and sweat. Feeling awkward and shy at a social gathering? Simply say, “The book was better than the movie,” and watch everyone agree with your observation and admire your discerning taste.
7. Learn a New Language
Read a classic book in a language you don’t speak. Become fluent in the language through osmosis (or just look up every single word). Proudly tell people you read One Hundred Years of Solitude, by Gabriel Garcia Marquez (or any other renowned work of international literature), in the author’s native tongue. Don’t tell people you understood very little of it.
8. Unplug
This one’s easy. Want to spend less time online? Read a book.
9. Be Less Stressed
Stressed? Get in a bathtub and read a book. Really stressed? Squeeze a book. Open it up and scream into it. Smack a pillow with it. You won’t hurt its feelings. Really, really stressed? Smell a book. No, seriously, smell it. The deliciously comforting aroma of a good book is better than any fancy aromatherapy candle.
10. Kick Unhealthy Habits
A wise B&N blogger once said, “The man who lives longest gets to read the most books. And do other stuff too.” So get out there and do everything you can to be good to yourself, stay healthy, and live as long as you possibly can. Because we have lots of books for you to read.
What’s your New Year’s Resolution, and how can books help?