Who runs the world? Book nerds! Well, okay, that’s not necessarily true. But shouldn’t it be? How much would book fans love to wake up one day and find ourselves in a world where everyone around us has the same burning devotion to reading that we do? Priorities would shift, rules would bend, laws would change. I’m telling you, it would be a brave new world, except not in a creepy dystopian way. Just trust me here. Here are a few ways the world would operate if book nerds ruled supreme:
1. Huge, long-awaited book release dates would be national holidays so that everyone could stay home and read. (Winds of Winter Day, anyone?)
2. Public transportation would have extra reminders at every stop to ensure commuters who are lost in a book don’t end up missing their stops.
3. We would have sturdy, lightweight, waterproof books we could read in the tub. Come on, researchers! Forget flying cars for just a few minutes and bang this one out before the weekend! I know you can do it.
4. Instead of having to sit through twenty minutes of movie trailers when you see a movie in theaters, they’d be mixed in with…wait for it…book trailers!
5. Four words: Twenty-four hour bookstores. Because sometimes it’s 2 a.m. and you need a copy of Top Secret Twenty-One in your hands this very instant. I’m pretty sure we’ve all been there.
6. “I can’t come to school/work today because I HAVE to finish my book” would be a totally valid (occasional) excuse at schools/workplaces across the country.
7. You could be fined for saying something like, “Are you reading again?” and “Why read a book when you can see the movie?” Except that no fines would actually be levied, because no one would feel like saying things like that anymore.
8. Moving companies would offer book bulk discount rates, because we all know moving is harder on book lovers. Especially when stairs are involved.
9. People who dine out alone with a book would be stealthily high-fived, rather than scorned.
10. When a book or series is being brought to the silver screen, we’d all get to vote on casting, because getting that right is important.
11. Additionally, books being made into movies or TV shows would be required to rigorously adhere to important plot/character arcs or start over from scratch.
12. Everyone would get the entire month of November off to do NaNoWriMo.
13. Rather than being blasé or defiant about it, people would say, “I don’t like to read,” in the same hushed, apologetic way you might say, “When I was a kid I kicked a kitten once,” and it would merit the same kind of reaction.
14. Authors would give readings at packed stadiums, just like rock stars. No more crowding! No standing in the back! Everyone gets a seat! Way better sound systems!
What would a world ruled by book nerds look like?