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Owen, Frank, Audrey, and Jin-Ae have one thing in common: they all want to die. When they meet online after each attempts suicide and fails, the four teens make a deadly pact: they will escape together on a summer road trip to visit the sites of celebrity suicides...and at their final destination, they will all end their lives. As they drive cross-country, bonding over their dark impulses, sharing their deepest secrets and desires, living it up, hooking up, and becoming true friends, each must decide whether life...
Owen, Frank, Audrey, and Jin-Ae have one thing in common: they all want to die. When they meet online after each attempts suicide and fails, the four teens make a deadly pact: they will escape together on a summer road trip to visit the sites of celebrity suicides...and at their final destination, they will all end their lives. As they drive cross-country, bonding over their dark impulses, sharing their deepest secrets and desires, living it up, hooking up, and becoming true friends, each must decide whether life is worth living—or if there's no turning back.
"Crash Into Me puts readers in the driver's seat with four teens teetering on the edge of suicide. But will their cross country odyssey push them all the way over? Only the final page turn will tell, in Albert Borris's finely-crafted tale of friendship forged from a desperate need of connection. An exceptional first novel." —Ellen Hopkins, bestselling author of Crank
?Take a bathroom break and be sure you have a few free hours because from the moment you open this book you're going to be on the ultimate heartbreaking, poignant road trip to a place you never thought you'd go.? —Todd Strasser, bestselling author of Give a Boy a Gun
"Albert Borris is a powerful and insightful new voice in young adult fiction.? —Neal Schusterman, author of Unwind
"Crash Into Me puts readers in the driver's seat with four teens teetering on the edge of suicide. But will their cross country odyssey push them all the way over? Only the final page turn will tell, in Albert Borris's finely-crafted tale of friendship forged from a desperate need of connection. An exceptional first novel." -- Ellen Hopkins, bestselling author of Crank
The third time I tried to kill myself I used a rope. I picked the clothesline from the basement. I f gured the cord didn't have to be real strong because I wasn't going to drop off a bridge or from a tree. I needed it just strong enough to kill me.
I've tried to kill myself six times; seven if you count walking down the median strip near the trucks and thinking of jumping in front of them. I suppose that doesn't really count. I didn't do anything that time except walk and practice falling off the curb into traffi c. Everyone (mostly my mom, the psychiatrists, my two counselors) says that if I wanted to die, I would pick more lethal methods. Rope, I think, is pretty lethal.
The car slows. Frank turns off the expressway.
The third try was my angriest, my most dangerous. I put that thin white cord around my neck and tied a slipknot. Then I pulled it so tight that I pinched the skin on my neck and made myself pass out — but not die. I did end up with a bruise from rope burn that I couldn't explain away. I was in the psych hospital for ten days that time.
The car turns again onto a smaller road.
"How long until we can stop for the bathroom?" Jin-Ae moans from the front seat. Her voice squeaks.
"One minute," replies Frank.
I don't speak. I'm thinking about the rope and my third try, because this time I think I may use a rope again.
We turn into the parking lot. I spot Audrey inside Dunkin' Donuts. She bolts up from the table. I wondered if we would know her right away since she never posted her picture, but her crew cut, the buzz, is unmistakable. She knows us. I watch her grab her pack from the floor and zoom past the counter. Audrey slams out the door toward us.
"Bathroom?" Jin-Ae asks.
Frank nods. He turns off the engine. Jin-Ae opens her door, starts to step out but stops to watch Audrey. I like being in the backseat where I can watch them both. Outside, Audrey heaves her cup at the trash can. It misses. She doesn't stop, just keeps bounding toward the car.
"She's in a rush," Frank comments.
"Nothing like a four-way suicide pact to get you going in the morning," Jin-Ae says. She's always a bit loud, angry, abrasive, something.
Audrey is at Frank's window. "Let's go," she says.
"Down, girl," replies Jin-Ae, finally stepping outside the car. "Gotta pee."
"Can't we get going? I hate this town," Audrey whines. She leans in to look at me. "A pleasure to meet you, Your Highness. You all look different in person."
"She's in a hurry," Jin-Ae says to Frank, mocking Audrey.
"Come on," Audrey replies. "Mush, dogs."
Frank seems to smile at that comment. "Couple minutes. We need to stretch a little," he says to Audrey. "Been driving for hours already."
Jin-Ae points to the purple scar across Audrey's forehead. "So that's what a frying pan can do."
Audrey grunts but doesn't answer.
Frank gets out, takes Audrey's bag, and walks to the trunk. Audrey climbs into the backseat, near me, without saying another word.
I scramble out. We use the toilets, and then load up on doughnuts, and head north. None of us talk. We know where we're going, and what's in store.
Maybe I shouldn't have come on this trip. I don't even want to talk to them. It's so much easier to talk to people on the computer. You don't have to look at their faces. You can walk away. You can write whatever you want and then turn the computer off. I like it that way. Farther away from people.
"I'm officially a runaway now," Audrey says, once we're on the road again.
"What?" says Jin-Ae, turning from the front seat to look at her. "No wonder you're in such a hurry. Are we going to have the cops after us? Amber Alert and all that crap?"
"Just kidding." Audrey shakes her head. "I left a note."
"No. I told my mom that I needed time to get my head together, and that I was staying at a friend's house for a while. She'll call my cell phone and yell, but she won't call the cops."
Frank turns the music up loud. "She better not," he yells.
"Won't matter in two weeks anyway," I mutter. No one hears me.
"Then how'd you get away from the folks, Frank?" Audrey hollers. "You tell 'em you're going on the celebrity suicide road trip?"
"No need to shout." He smirks, turning the music down. "And I don't know what you mean. I'm home. Like I told you, my parents are in Germany for a month. My brother is supposed to be watching me. Told him to cover for me or I'd narc him out for his weed."
"Really?" says Jin-Ae, excited. She grabs his arm. "Extortion?"
"Nice," says Audrey. She rearranges herself in the backseat, turning sideways with her feet resting against my legs, which makes me a little nervous. I'm not used to being touched. "All right you two, how about it?"
Jin-Ae says, "Hang on." She bends down, shuffling through her pocketbook.
Audrey, in the meantime, opens a small bag and pulls out a CD. She taps Frank on the shoulder with the case. "Nirvana."
He shakes his head. "Not yet. You have plenty of time."
"Two weeks," I say. Again, it doesn't seem like anyone hears me.
Audrey mumbles something I don't understand, and drops the disc onto the front seat between him and Jin-Ae. Frank turns right, following the turnpike signs.
"Here," Jin-Ae says, handing Audrey a piece of paper. "Our itinerary." She smirks. I spot our high school letterhead. I lean over, rereading with Audrey the list of fifteen colleges and universities that she and I are supposedly visiting.
"Nice fake. Federal offense, but nice forgery anyway."
"Works because we're from the same town," Jin-Ae explains. Audrey hands the paper to me, stares at me as if I should talk. Finally I do.
"Jin-Ae talked my mom into the phony college tour," I say. "My dad is in California, but they don't talk to each other, anyway."
"I even convinced them that there was a fee," Jin-Ae says, "so we both have some money."
I thought Audrey would be impressed by that comment, but she doesn't seem to care. "How long until Boston?" she asks. We're back on the highway now. Jin-Ae adjusts the mirror on her visor. For a second, I can see her face. Then nothing but dark hair. Audrey pulls out a pack of cigarettes.
"Five hours," says Frank. Audrey leans forward, offering Jin-Ae and Frank a cigarette. Frank shakes his head. "Don't smoke in the car, okay?" Audrey snaps the pack closed and sits back, hard.
According to MapQuest, Forest Hills Cemetery in Jamaica Plain, now part of Boston, Massachusetts, is 294 miles from the Cherry Hill Mall in New Jersey. Pictures on Google show a massive castlelike exterior and gate. If we're lucky, we'll arrive before rush hour and before the cemetery closes for the evening. I'd hate for our first stop to include jumping fences, especially in the dark.
Audrey keeps talking. "So, Jin-Ae, why do you get to pick first? You say 'head north' and we just have to follow?"
I find myself answering before Jin-Ae can speak. "Audrey, it's best to start on the East Coast. Everybody gets one suicide."
"Oh," says Audrey, "that's a cute pun there, Fact Boy. Nobody kills themselves more than once, right?"
"We share any extras," says Frank, taking her attention away from me. No one seems to see me shrink.
"I should have picked two," Audrey says, sitting back, folding her arms across her chest. "Three, even."
"E. E. Cummings and Eugene O'Neill are also buried there," Jin-Ae offers.
"Good research," Audrey says sarcastically. "Who were they?"
"Poet and playwright."
"No." Jin-Ae taps her nails on the window, obviously irritated.
"Then why are we going to see them?"
"We're not," Jin-Ae rebuffs. "First stop is Anne Sexton."
Audrey looks at me, ignoring Jin-Ae. "Bring any of their poetry?"
I shake my head, then look away.
"Hell, Audrey," says Jin-Ae. "None of us probably ever read anything by them. Anyone?" Jin-Ae's nail points to each of us. No answers. "See."
"They're famous," Frank states.
"They're dead," says Audrey.
"Amen," replies Jin-Ae.
Copyright © 2009 by Albert Borris
Posted December 28, 2009
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I got this book yesturday. I finished it in a few short hours. From the first sentence, I was hooked. I forgot that I was even reading; and became apart of the story. I awoke with a new way of seeing things; positively.
I highly recomend this Amazing book. :)
6 out of 6 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
At first I was a little unsure about how much I would like this book because of the characters pretty much going on a suicide trip, but I was so wrong. This book is so wonderful and I would recommend everyone to read this. The characters are so lively and I thought that I was on the road trip with Jin-Ae, Frank, Owen, and Audrey. The dialouge is how my friends and I speak so i could relate to how they were feeling. I only have had this book for a month and I have already read it a few times. THIS IS A MUST READ!
4 out of 5 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 3, 2011
It was a realy good book exept for the end. I was kinda looking forward to a realy good death scean at th end..... but it didnt happen. Oh well.... i guess this book can be good for those that are suicidol thoughts but only if they are suuper corny and hve no real concept of what emo is or suicido is. I realy dont mean to be negative..... oh an the concept of haveing control ove your death i cool:)-SUPPER GOOD IN WAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
3 out of 12 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 7, 2011
I highly recomend this book, i loved it. At points i didnt like the diologe between the charecters, but this book made me want to go on a road trip, it got me thinking, and i absolotly loved it. One thing i hated was the ending, it was suspenceful, which i hate. The ending made me want to throw my precious book against the wall. But its deffinitly worth reading.... Go read it.
2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted June 19, 2013
Posted July 11, 2012
I. Am. In. Love. With. This. Book. Im not suicidal, and i thought this book was . Read it un 3 houts. I forgot it was a book, the author uses such great discription, i thought it was a movie. One of my favorits! U dont uave 2 b suicidal to like this book.
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted March 6, 2012
When I first saw the cover of Crash into Me, I was intrigued. A boy and a girl holding on to each other like they will never be able to fall again when stumbling. I expected a quite steamy romance, so when I read the book’s back I was surprised to encounter something very different. Crash into Me is about four young people who still need to find their place in life... or in death.
Everyone of the Suicide Dogs, as they call their group, has a different personality and other reasons for suicide. The group’s name expresses something wild and uncontrollable, just like the kids themselves are in their decisions to take their lives. As we learn more about their pasts, we are drawn deeper into their dark secrets and begin to understand how they feel.
Suicide is a very drastic and burdening act to be confronted with in a YA novel. It is still a very important topic, a problem no one should ignore so easily. Albert Borris treats the topic with respect, but still achieves to integrate funny scenes which relax the dark atmosphere of this suicide trip.
Sometimes the ironic way is exactly the right way to call attention to an important topic. That Crash into Me didn’t turn out too dark and depressed was achieved by adding some romance and even the time for wishes and hope. Between each chapter of the Suicide Dogs’ journey are Top Ten lists or extracts of chat sessions, which I really enjoyed and considered as softening up the whole serious story.
The journey was very exciting, but in the end I missed some more informations. Suddenly actions accumulated and the end came way to abrupt. In my opinion this novel could have contained a few more pages, but the overall story and plot idea are thrilling and interesting.
This is a novel about the darkest of your days and the way finding the path back to light. Four teenagers go on a road trip, but they will explore so much more than just a few famous American spots.
Sometimes a road trip can be the shortest way to yourself!
Crash into Me is about a road trip full of adventures, freedom and self-discovery. Sometimes even the darkest of your thoughts can be fought with the bright shining light of friendship, comfort and love.
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Posted December 29, 2011
Posted December 28, 2011
Posted October 17, 2011
Posted October 11, 2011
I don't mean to be the one negative reviewer, but I read this book when I myself was dealing with suicidal thoughts. This novel sucked. The entire story line was drawn out, and quite frankly it was just boring. I was anticipating some really inspiring scenes, and obviously they all weren't going to commit suicide the entire time, but I was expecting something to relate to. Do not buy this book; it will be a waste of your time.
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Posted August 25, 2011
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Posted February 1, 2011
I loved this book because of the hope it brings. Four friends gather together for one last trip before they kill themselves. All of them stricken by some type of guilt or pain just want out of this world. During this trip they discover that there is much more to life.
Hope. I love this book. All four of them found each other with no one else to lean one, they found hope together in their unique friendship. During their trip, they visit graves of people who committed suicide as well as fulfilling their one last wish.
I loved that while reading this book you found yourself watching them find hope in the new found friendship. Little by little each of them let down their guard letting the others in to their world. We saw Owen whocarried an extreme amount of guilt for years. Frank who felt like no one was their him. Audrey who just wanted to get away. And Jin-Ae who had trouble being herself.
In the end they realized that they are not alone and always had each other. They also fell in love. And love made them see the world in a different place. They wanted to travel more and do things that they have never down before. Love and hope gave them a hunger for something they never though they have.
There was some sex(nothing graphic just talk of it), drugs, and of course illegal stuff.*
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