DEAR GOD SAVE ME

by NICOLE LAKE WATSON

Overview

There is always a struggle between living and living right.

There is a need to forgive and be forgiven.

There is the urge to thank God and then question him.

There is the unclear path that brings despair.

Dear God Save Me is a group of letters to God that only convey glimpses of the things that weigh on the heart as a person tries to live righteously. These letters offer God praise and thanks, questions him, begs his forgiveness, and suggests doubt. The author, Nicole Lake Watson, admits that the paths she has taken haven't always been best. Instead of giving up, she asks God for strength and safety while offering encouragement to others. Dear God Save Me has been her start to peace and it can be yours.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781468577501
Publisher:	AuthorHouse
Publication date:	06/28/2012
Sold by:	Barnes & Noble
Format:	eBook
Pages:	118
File size:	251 KB

Read an Excerpt

Dear God Save Me

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By NICOLE LAKE WATSON

AuthorHouse

Copyright © 2012 Nicole Lake Watson
All right reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4685-7749-5

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Chapter One

Dear God, Thanks

I really don't know what to say so I'll say thank you. Thank you for awakening me and my family this morning. Thank you for your love and mercy. Thank you God for our home and the love that dwells here within its walls. Thank you for healing us of diseases and illnesses that have plagued us. Thank you God for clothes, the food we eat each day that nourishes and heals us, and financial stability.

God thank you for our family and friends near and far. Please dear God, watch over them and keep them safe as they try to survive in this world. I pray that they are happy and that they have found peace within themselves. Bless them all. I can see, talk and walk and I am so grateful or it. Bless those that cannot. Thanks for everything GOD. AMEN!

Dear God, Gather Me

Gather me into your arms and hold me.
Forgive me for my sins.
I feel as though I keep failing you.
Oh Lord, give me strength to do right.
It torments me that I have not.
I find myself upset over things I
shouldn't be upset about.
More than that, I find that I
am disappointed in me.
God you've been too good to me.
Why can't I be good to myself?
I am putting myself thru needless suffering.
Help me to come out of this sinful addiction.
God I need you here with me.
I have lost my way.
Gather me up and put me back on your path.
That's where I need to be.
Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.
I have been weak and I have fallen.
My thoughts take me to places
I hope my body never goes.
And my body has gone places my mind
should never have traveled.
Give me strength not to give in to the temptations
and desires of the flesh and world.
Forgive me Lord and free me.

Sometimes Lord

Sometimes Lord life doesn't seem worth living and there have been times that I've prayed not to wake up because I couldn't stop the tears from falling from my eyes or the pain that I felt in my heart.

And sometimes I don't know why I continue to try. Nothing ever seems to go right for me. Lord, what will I do? How will I continue?

I know that you have plans for me but I feel as if I have not taken heed to your messages. I know that you have given me the path and answers. I fear Lord that I have been too afraid to listen and follow.

I know my life could have been worse so sometimes I put away my selfishness. I look at the positive aspects of living. Being able to say 'thank you Lord for another day' is definitely a plus. Who really wants to die? I am surrounded by family and friends that love me and fill my life with joy. I have good health and a new life. It's definitely a pleasure.

Every now and then I'll meet someone who is a great conversationalist, someone with a radiant smile, someone with contagious laughter and someone with a huge heart. I get to enjoy the company of these kind hearted people and it is awesome. I have met people that have touched my life in ways that I can't begin to explain and that I will never forget.

So Lord, I know life isn't worth living just some of the time but it is worth living all of the time.

You Are Amazing

Lord, I come to you today to say thank you for my life. I have come a long way with you. A lot has happened and I'm glad you've been with me. I don't appreciate a lot of the things that happened to me but I'm glad those experiences have made me a better person. I have fallen many times and some of those falls felt pretty hard to me. Thanks for helping me up and for all of the times you guided me thru. What would I have done without you? Thank you for always taking care of me. You are amazing.

Time

Time comes and goes by so fast that we are left wondering what happened. What happened to that phone call when you promised to call more often? What happened to that planned visit when you always promised to stop by more?

In time it all stopped, if it ever occurred at all. The calls stopped and so did the visits. Something else came up or there was just something more exciting to do. Time doesn't give us the opportunity to play catch up.

It's sad when time leaves a whole family divided. It's sad when there is no one who knows the family tree. Gaps in time can leave a family not knowing one another because no one took the time.

There is nothing quite like family no matter how far away you are or how long you've been gone. No matter how dysfunctional they may be, family is like a deserted island. The storms may come and may cause plenty of damage but with the right care can be so peaceful.

Time gives to us and takes away from us. Time leaves us with something so wonderful that we sit, think and reminisce about it even when it's gone. That something is each other.

Let's take the moments that time has given us to love and cherish one another. Hold one another dear to our hearts. One day you will want to see the person you neglected whether it's their eyes or smile. You will miss the sound of their laughter and voice. You miss knowing that they were just a phone call away or just a drive around the corner. Their very presence you will someday miss because time does run out.

Another Reunion

It's that time once again.
It's time for another reunion.
And God I can't wait.
I can't wait to see them again.
Some of them I haven't seen in over a year.
I can't wait to hear the new stories
Nor to reminisce on the old.
God, it's another reunion.
I can't wait to see their smiles
And hear their laughter.
I can't wait to play catch up
On all of their lives.
And most of all, I can't wait to see them again.
It's another reunion.
God I don't want them fighting.
I want to see their smiling faces.
I want to hear their new stories.
I want to share in their laughter.
It's another reunion
And I just want to see them again.
God make sure they are there.


Your Kingdom

I haven't been perfect.
I haven't always lived right.
And Lord you know I'm no saint
but I've tried to be my very best.
I still have my faults.
I haven't been at my greatest.
When it comes time to leave this world behind,
dear Lord please remember me.
When there are no more birthdays
and no future to look forward to
I hope I'll be seeing you.
so Lord have mercy on me.
Maybe some past deed
will be good enough to get me
into your great paradise.
As I ease into eternity take my hand.
I haven't done it quite right
but it's your kingdom I hope for.


Forgive Me

Forgive me Lord for I have sinned.
I know that no one is perfect.
I have spoken things that I should not have.
My thoughts are racing and
becoming more worldly.
It's almost as if I can't control myself.
Lord, you know my thoughts.
They aren't nearly as pure as I want them to be.
You know my heart Lord
And as good a person as I am
I am not without faults.

Lord, allow me the strength to forgive myself.
I've beat myself up for the things
I've done, relentlessly.
I won't allow me to forgive me.
I feel like I have failed you greatly.
I want to be able to get past those things and go on.
There is a lesson in every fault and I
now realize there is even suffering.
I don't want to continue throwing
myself in the flames.
I know you are a forgiving God.
Why can't I forgive myself?

Forgive me Lord, for I have sinned.
I have done things that I am not proud of.
It has brought me great heart
ache and secret shame.
I know everyone makes mistakes
and that we pay for them;
But at the same time I cannot
accept what I have done.
I know it stems from a guilty conscience.
But I am entitled to forgiveness,
Am I not?
I ask that you cleanse my heart,
thoughts and words.
Come thru my home and into my
life and do a total cleanse
so that I can start the process of forgiving me.


From Myself

I can feel myself slipping
And I'm uncomfortable on this road
I've gotten lost somewhere
Oh God, I need you to save me
Please save me from myself

I've taken a wrong path
This journey alone is scary
Lord, save me from my enemies
I'm slipping away
I feel my body losing control
I need your saving grace

The demons that surround me
God, I ask that you bind and remove them
from my life and not let them return
Have mercy on me and
Save me from myself


Help Me Out

Lord please help me.
Things just don't seem worth it
But I know that it is as long as I believe.
I need your help.
Sometimes I don't know which way to turn.
I know there are many things I've done wrong
And now I beg for your forgiveness.
I thought I knew which route to take.
I thought I knew where my life was heading.
Then I had to face the fact that I was
lost and needing guidance.
Day by day I wish I knew what to
do and how to carry on.
I want to pick up the pieces and repair my life.
If I could erase my past
Then may be my life would seem so much better.
I know I have to keep on and stay
centered for what is ahead
But the past keeps haunting me.
I have run out of options.
I am so lost on what to do
I need you more than ever.
Help me out.


Lord Talk To Me

I'm in need of a friend.
I'm in need of company.
I need someone to talk to me.
I drop to my knees.
I lift my eyes toward heaven
Asking, Lord, that you talk to me.
Everyone has gone and left me.
I know that you still care.
God I need you.
I am out of my mind.
What shall I do?
You are the only one who understands.
Put my life straight.
Lord talk to me.
Tell me how to fix it.

You Vowed

God you said you would always be by my side, even thru the pains and troubles that I have caused myself. I am grateful that you have stuck with me through all of my mishaps. I have made some really bad choices and at times I have questioned whether or not you were there. As my life has gone on and turned out as wonderful as it has I know I should never have doubted. You've never left me. I know at times you didn't answer because I had to learn the lessons from my actions. You promised and you kept it. I am sorry that I ever questioned you. You are awesome and you have made the difference in my life.

Everything To Me

God you are everything to me. When I needed a friend you were it. When I was lonely suddenly I didn't know what that was. I learned me during my alone time with you. When my world was upside down and I was sad and crying, you were the one I took everything to. No one would have understood. When I was on the edge facing my storms, spirits low and nowhere to turn, you were there. You became my everything. When I called to you I felt your presence. You sent many to take care of me. I couldn't have survived alone. Thanks. I hope you know you are still my every-thing. You are everything to me.

Just Believe

A child's faith is stronger than we could ever imagine. They believe in mommy and daddy even when they are the most horrible parents alive. They believe they will do better. Sometimes they don't even realize how bad things really are. They believe in Santa Claus and if they don't get what they want for Christmas they think it's because they were bad. What if we as adults had that same faithful drive that children have? What if we believed in one another like that? Mostly, what if we believed in God like that? I bet we all would suffer less stress. Imagine how we all would change if we just believe.

We Call Him Jesus

God, I'm guessing it was pretty hard to give your son to save us. We have definitely lost our way. It was the most gracious act ever done. Do you ever think that it was a worthless one because it seems as if things have gotten worse? You really love us but you must be really disappointed. You could have completely wiped us out and not be bothered with such disobedience any more. I am glad that you still saw good in us. So much so, that you were willing to save us by allowing your son to die for us. We call him Jesus, the one sent to save us. Thanks for loving us.

Remove This Curse On Me

God save me from this curse that has been placed on my life. I know not from where it has come but I do know this is not how I want to live. I don't want to continuously do evil deeds. I don't want to go to hell. The devil can't have my soul. Yes I have sinned. God remove this hold on me. The darkness is fun to play in but the consequences are hard to live with. I have seen my family destroyed by this curse. Remove this curse on me and on my family. We can't continue to live this way. Save us from the curses spoken upon us and passed through generations. The devil can't have us anymore. Remove us from his grasp.

Bless My Dear Mother

I can remember the nights she sat up all night with her bible in her hands. I could never understand why she always read it. She should have known it by heart. As I have aged, I know she read it to protect us. Being so young I never knew how powerful the words in it are. She is awesome God. I am so glad that you gave her to me and my siblings. It took your love and strength in her to survive the heartache and pain she has been dealt. God heal her of all heartaches, physical ailments, diseases and mental torment. God bless my dear mother and I thank you for her.

Today

God, I woke up today and I feel hideous.

I'm suffering a bout of depression. I look in the mirror and I want to break it. I feel so ugly today. None of my clothes fit anymore. I have gained so much weight and I can remember being so small. I guess I'll start a diet and going to the gym. But will that work? Won't I think I'm ugly after I've dropped a couple of pounds? Won't depression still rob me of me? Won't I continue to harp on the negative and not the positive?

So I'll go to that mirror once again. I'll look long and hard and I'll smile at me because I am so beautiful. Just look at my smile, it is bewitching. Looking into my sexy eyes is mesmerizing. Feel the softness of my hair. Even in a tangled mess it is nice to touch. My skin is just as soft and beautiful. Look at my rugged yet gentle poise. I am a woman among women. I am stronger than I give myself credit for. So I look into that mirror and I tell me: depression, you can't have me today. Today I am me and I am wonderful.

Friendship Oath

My ears are open when you need to talk. I'm strongly opinionated but I'll just listen. When you need advice you know I'll give it. I must make a note to listen to myself. Sometimes there will be onlytears, no words. I'll give you a shoulder to cry on so pick one. You know I'll be crying too. My arms are always outstretched. So feel free to give and receive a hug. Hopefully it'll warm your day. When you need a girls day out you know how I like to eat and shop. Hey, call me. And when you just want to trash men or just simply gossip I can do that too. There will be days that go extremely well and others that leave you down and blue. I'll give you encouraging words that give you a lift.

My friendship oath is this--when the years have put distance between us; and heartache and shame shies you away; or life simply has been cruel to you; just remember, I'll always be there for you.

(I've made some good friends along the way but if I never get to make another one then I know that God blessed me with great ones)

How/When

How do I overcome this pain, this anger inside when everything has been taken from me? How do I go on when I am too ashamed to look up? How can they tell me to get over it when they can't possibly grasp the depths by which I have fallen? How can they tell me it's going to be okay when they don't know how the darkness has taken hold of me? How can I find myself again when I am so lost in fear? How can I begin to let go when all I want to do is hide and die quickly but instead I slowly die? How can I tell someone about this horrible thing when I cannot bear the truth myself? How can I tell you to tell someone when my truth is buried inside of me fighting to be free? How will it feel to be free of this grief when I have let it slowly torture me? How can they tell me the secret to this freedom when they have never suffered through such an ordeal? How can they tell me the way I should act when there are days I want to hide, to just withdraw from life itself; and there are other days when I could give myself to anybody and not care at all? How can I feel like this? When will I not? How can he go on without a care in this world when I suffer needlessly for his cruel act? How come he gets to hold his head high with pride when mine is hung low from pain and shame? How is it that he gets praised for having me when I get scorned for accusing him? How is it that he gets to ride the throne when my disgrace gets me stoned? This world is so screwed up. Why does he get the pat on the back while I get called slut or whore? How do you look at him in good faith when you know the pain he has caused me and others? How does the court grant him early release when I am sentenced to life? Why does he only get to serve six months when the rest of my life seems like prison? How do you allow him to roam free when I am a prisoner inside of me because of him? I am a tortured soul for what he did to me. He killed me when he raped me. God how? God when?

What If No One Cared

What if no one care about one another? If something like that was to happen, we wouldn't dare call each other sisters and brothers. Oh what a mess that would be. I wouldn't have you and you wouldn't have me. Just think, 'what if no one cared?'

If no one cared I doubt these people would be on earth. They probably would have killed each other off by now. What if no one cared?

(Continues...)

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Excerpted from Dear God Save Me by NICOLE LAKE WATSON Copyright © 2012 by Nicole Lake Watson. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents

Contents

Acknowledgements....................ix
Dear God, Thanks....................1
Dear God, Gather Me....................2
Sometimes Lord....................3
You Are Amazing....................5
Time....................6
Another Reunion....................8
Your Kingdom....................9
Forgive Me....................10
From Myself....................12
Help Me Out....................13
Lord Talk To Me....................14
You Vowed....................15
Everything To Me....................16
Just Believe....................17
We Call Him Jesus....................18
Remove This Curse On Me....................19
Bless My Dear Mother....................20
Today....................21
Friendship Oath....................22
How/When....................23
What If No One Cared....................25
They Like....................26
Dear God, Trying Harder....................27
Dear God, Calling You....................28
Dear God, Forgiving....................29
Dear God, Don't Let Go....................30
Dear God, Forgive Them....................32
Too Short....................33
Before His Death....................34
I Knew....................35
I Am Free....................36
DEAR GOD, FORGIVE ME....................37
Who Controls My Heart....................39
Precious Doe....................41
Don't Cry For Me....................43
When I Go I'll Be Calling You....................45
God, Did You See....................46
A Good Day....................47
Someone....................48
Dear God, What You Want....................49
Their Smiles....................50
Dear God, Answers....................52
Lord....................53
My First White Friend....................54
He's My Way Home....................55
Dear God, Anger....................56
People....................57
The Strong One....................58
Dear God, Progress....................60
Be My Guide....................61
Strengthen Me....................62
I Dare You....................63
Not Promised....................64
They Don't Know....................65
Missed....................66
Dear God, To Us....................67
April 27th 2011....................68
My Patients....................69
Healing Wounds....................71
Trying To Make It....................73
Aunt Rebecca....................74
Teased To Death....................75
Aunt Rose Mae....................77
Open The Window....................78
Should've Been Searching For God....................80
God, Lay Your Hands....................81
Dear God, These Children....................82
Dear God, Learning....................83
Lord, Tell Them....................84
Daddy's Girl....................86
There Will Be Times....................88
Super Models....................89
I've Been Calling....................91
I Declare Happiness....................92
Dear God, Relationships....................93
Change Nothing....................94
Hatred....................95
Let Me Come Home....................96
In The Mirror....................97
I Cried A Prayer....................99
Dear God....................100
Among Them....................101
I Am Hurting And I Don't Know Why....................102
My Father....................103
I Called You....................104
Dear God, My Husband....................105
Lord I Am Ready....................106