Uh-oh, it looks like your Internet Explorer is out of date.

For a better shopping experience, please upgrade now.



4.3 3
by Ahsumma Beach

See All Formats & Editions

"Dirklus" is a fantastic tale about an eventual hero tasked with an epic quest, but is blinded by perfect breasts and invisible tan lines until he realizes the meaning of true love.


"Dirklus" is a fantastic tale about an eventual hero tasked with an epic quest, but is blinded by perfect breasts and invisible tan lines until he realizes the meaning of true love.

Editorial Reviews

Kirkus Reviews
When their realm is invaded by a tyrant determined to exterminate all magic, apprentice spellcasters/orphans Dirklus and Annah are caught between opposing armies of pirates, dwarves, knights, comically greedy merchants, big-hearted prostitutes and their conflicted feelings for each other. Fans of Piers Anthony's Xanth novels and Terry Pratchett's comical fantasies are the ideal readership for this fractured-fairytale romp. In revenge for a witch's humiliating hex that punished his sexual depredations, wicked King Archon obsessively crusades to destroy all magic-wielders. Young Dirklus and Annah are sent to safety on a spell-shrouded peninsula, where they grow up apprenticed to a haughty, detached wizard, seemingly more annoyed than anything else at the posturing mortals around him, especially a colony of über-capitalist merchants renown for their sweet onions (which, when hurled, can serve as stun weapons) and their beautiful daughters groomed to be the most pleasantly accommodating of prostitutes. When Archonians rather ineffectually invade the peninsula, they primarily succeed in carrying off the colony's prized whore, Nooki, who happens to be Dirklus' sweetheart. Dirklus goes on a careening rescue-quest, despite his barely controllable sorceries and tomboy Annah's jealous insistence that she, not Nooki, is the right girl for him, never mind the gossip that the two apprentices are blood relatives. The abundant sexual repartee is charmingly bawdy in nonexplicit, old-school fashion, and Beach does well evoking the magical action in brief, slapstick-y brush-strokes, though rarely inspiring actual awe, just satisfied smirks (even if a horde of treelike giants are a shameless steal from J.R.R. Tolkien's "ents"). While some of the punning-ly named characters could have used a bit more depth, they prove to be capable of surprising. Granted that a "to be continued…" shingle hangs at the end of the tale, Beach's work avoids any cliffhanger endings to function neatly as a standalone. Even so, fantasy-genre readers with a penchant for sly stuff that never takes itself too seriously—and remains coyly naughty around the margins—won't mind a return to Beach's shores. Cheeky, tongue-in-cheek mock fantasy not without flaws, but captivates nonetheless.

Product Details

iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date:
Product dimensions:
5.00(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.73(d)

Related Subjects

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Post to your social network


Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews

Dirklus 4.3 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I really enjoyed this book. It doesn't look like much from the title or the cover, but it is very entertaining. There was loads of humor mixed into this fantasy novel. Worth checking out, can't wait for more!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is a quick, light and breezy read, which encompasses several genres. Fantasy. Adventure. Romance. Farce. Adult Literature. It's a fun adventure with pits and perils and quests. It also has a nicely done B story for folks who like a little romance. The characters are fun, vivid, and absurd in their beliefs, which adds plenty of conflict, and more humor than expected.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
DIRKLUS is a very crude romantic comedy / action adventure about two inept wizards, who are tasked with averting the hostile take over of a profitable oinion trade. The novel satirizes the fantasy genre and periodically injects frivolous social criticism which is negated by the over-the-top potty humor and an awkward and goofy love story. It's a light beach or bathroom reader and I would love to hear a famous hockey mom summarize the plot at a book club.