Don't Call Me Ishmael

( 2 )
Hardcover
$13.59
BN.com price
$16.99 List Price (Save 20%)
Marketplace (New and Used)
from
$0.10
$16.99 List Price (Save 99%)
Usually ships in 1-2 business days
All (21)  
Used (10)  
New (11)  
Close
Sort by
Page 1 of 3
Showing 1 – 10 of 21 (3 pages)
$0.10
(Save 99%)
Better World Books
Seller since 2006

Feedback rating:

(50880)

Condition:

New — never opened or used in original packaging.

Like New — packaging may have been opened. A "Like New" item is suitable to give as a gift.

Very Good — may have minor signs of wear on packaging but item works perfectly and has no damage.

Good — item is in good condition but packaging may have signs of shelf wear/aging or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Acceptable — item is in working order but may show signs of wear such as scratches or torn packaging. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Used — An item that has been opened and may show signs of wear. All specific defects should be noted in the Comments section associated with each item.

Refurbished — A used item that has been renewed or updated and verified to be in proper working condition. Not necessarily completed by the original manufacturer.

Good
Former Library book. Shows some signs of wear, and may have some markings on the inside. 100% Money Back Guarantee. Shipped to over one million happy customers. Your purchase ... benefits world literacy! Read more Show Less

Ships from: Mishawaka, IN

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$0.11
(Save 99%)
Better World Books
Seller since 2006

Feedback rating:

(50880)

Condition: Very Good
Former Library book. Great condition for a used book! Minimal wear. 100% Money Back Guarantee. Shipped to over one million happy customers. Your purchase benefits world literacy!

Ships from: Mishawaka, IN

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$0.17
(Save 99%)
REadCYCLE America
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(197)

Condition: Very Good
0061348341 Library copy with mylar cover and library markings. Great service. Fast shipping. Saving trees 1 page at a time!

Ships from: Brentwood, TN

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.10
(Save 94%)
Friends of the Phoenix Library
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(540)

Condition: Good
2007 Hardcover Good This is a former library copy with library stickers and stamps. 100% of this purchase will support literacy programs through a nonprofit organization!

Ships from: Phoenix, AZ

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 88%)
Blue Cloud Books
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(2520)

Condition: Like New
This book is almost new and shows only very slight signs of wear. Blue Cloud Books ??? Hot deals from the land of the sun.

Ships from: Phoenix, AZ

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$1.99
(Save 88%)
Yankee Clipper Books
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(3923)

Condition: Like New
Nearly new condition book. Sail the Seas of Value

Ships from: Windsor, CT

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$3.94
(Save 77%)
Extremely_Reliable
Seller since 2007

Feedback rating:

(3184)

Condition: Very Good
Buy with confidence. Excellent Customer Service & Return policy.

Ships from: Richmond, TX

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •International
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
$9.34
(Save 45%)
Books Any
Seller since 2010

Feedback rating:

(1916)

Condition: New
2007 Hard cover New. Sewn binding. Paper over boards. With dust jacket. 255 p. Intended for a juvenile audience.

Ships from: Valley Stream, NY

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Canadian
  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
  • •Express, 48 States
  • •Express (AK, HI)
$9.65
(Save 43%)
Great Book Deals
Seller since 2008

Feedback rating:

(12283)

Condition: New
Absolutely Brand New & In Stock. 100% 30-Day Money Back. Direct from our warehouse. Over 5+ Million Customers served. In business since 1997. Happy Customers is Our #1 Goal. ... Customer Service toll free upport Monday-Friday EST Hrs. 4 to 14 business day Delivery Time by US Post Office. Read more Show Less

Ships from: Oldsmar, FL

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
$9.75
(Save 43%)
PaperbackshopUS
Seller since 2009

Feedback rating:

(4793)

Condition: New
Shipped from US in 4 to 14 business days. Established seller since 2000

Ships from: Aurora, IL

Usually ships in 1-2 business days

  • •Standard, 48 States
  • •Standard (AK, HI)
Page 1 of 3
Showing 1 – 10 of 21 (3 pages)
Close
Sort by

Overview

By the time ninth grade begins, Ishmael Leseur knows it won't be long before Barry Bagsley, the class bully, says, "Ishmael? What kind of wussy-crap name is that?" Ishmael's perfected the art of making himself virtually invisible. But all that changes when James Scobie joins the class. Unlike Ishmael, James has no sense of fear—he claims it was removed during an operation.

Now nothing will stop James and Ishmael from taking on bullies, bugs, and Moby Dick, in the toughest, weirdest, most embarrassingly awful . . . and the best year of their lives.

... See more details below
Note: Visit our Teens Store.
Sending request ...

More About This Book

Overview

By the time ninth grade begins, Ishmael Leseur knows it won't be long before Barry Bagsley, the class bully, says, "Ishmael? What kind of wussy-crap name is that?" Ishmael's perfected the art of making himself virtually invisible. But all that changes when James Scobie joins the class. Unlike Ishmael, James has no sense of fear—he claims it was removed during an operation.

Now nothing will stop James and Ishmael from taking on bullies, bugs, and Moby Dick, in the toughest, weirdest, most embarrassingly awful . . . and the best year of their lives.

Editorial Reviews

School Library Journal

Gr 8 Up- It's the start of Year Nine at St. Daniel's Boys School for 14-year-old narrator Ishmael Leseur. Suddenly made aware of his "wussy-crap" name (which he blames on his parents and, in turn, Herman Melville), wry, witty Ishmael expects to keep his head down, as he did the year before, around bully Barry Bagsley, who has become more aggressive. But the new year brings surprises-Miss Tarango, an inspiring young English teacher willing to stand up to Barry; an odd new student, James Scobie, who claims that an operation erased his ability to feel fear; a debate team, started by James, which makes friends out of an unlikely group of students; and a potential romance with a debater from a rival girls' school. Ishmael's voice is strong, funny, and compelling, and Australian writer Bauer brings some fantastic characters to life through snappy dialogue and vivid descriptions. The plot meanders, though, striking out in too many undeveloped directions; first Miss Tarango drops out of focus, then James Scobie and the protagonist's family, and the result is a read that, while unified by Ishmael's strong narrative voice and moments of laugh-out-loud humor, feels oddly pieced together and unsatisfying. Although readers may enjoy identifying with a bullied underdog who "gets the girl" at the end, the book doesn't quite live up to its early potential.-Riva Pollard, formerly at The Winsor School Library, Boston

Copyright 2006 Reed Business Information.
Kirkus Reviews
With a name like Ishmael Leseur, one can imagine the amount of teasing the 14-year-old endures. His response is to try to make himself invisible so he can lessen the amount of sadistic bullying for which he's the target. Then along comes a strange new classmate-James Scobie, who is exceedingly bright yet frail. Ishmael ashamedly rejoices in the thought that he'll no longer be the number-one target now that the slightly offbeat James has arrived. Via brief, first-person chapters with funny titles, Bauer tells the tale of the developing friendship between James and Ishmael with great humor and sympathy, and he treats the familiar subject of bullying in a truthful way. James faces up to his persecutors without fear because, readers learn, he had a brain tumor removed-and what could be more frightening than that? While Ishmael and James are never totally free of bullies, the techniques they adopt are believable ones and eventually achieve the desired results. A brief scare concerning James's health allows Ishmael to finally stand up for himself and his friends. Bauer is a genius with similes and non-groan-worthy puns, resulting in an extremely amusing story. The combination of insults about Melville, great characters, humor, intelligence and the honest portrayal of bullying makes for a fantastic, all-encompassing read. (Fiction. 11-15)

Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9780061348341
  • Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
  • Publication date: 9/18/2007
  • Pages: 272
  • Sales rank: 705,902
  • Age range: 14 - 17 Years
  • Lexile: 0890L (what's this?)
  • Product dimensions: 5.50 (w) x 8.25 (h) x 0.93 (d)

Meet the Author

Michael Gerard Bauer, is is the award-winning author of Don't Call Me Ishmael. He has taught English and economics, and lives in the suburb of Ashgrove, Australia.

Read an Excerpt

Don't Call Me Ishmael

Chapter One

The Mayor of Loserville

There's no easy way to put this, so I'll just say it straight out. It's time I faced up to the truth. I'm fourteen years old, and I have Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome.

There is no cure.

Now, as far as I know, I'm the only recorded case of Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome in the world. In fact, the medical profession has probably never even heard of Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome. But it's real, believe me. The problem is, though, who would believe me?

For a while there, I guess I was in denial, but this year the symptoms have been just too painful and horrifying to ignore. And I'm not exaggerating here. No way. I'm telling you, Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome is capable of turning an otherwise almost normal person into a walking disaster registering nine point nine on the open-ended imbecile scale.

That's why I have decided to write all this down. Now everyone will finally understand the truth, and instead of electing me the mayor of Loserville, they'll simply shake their heads, smile kindly, and say, "It's all right. We understand. The poor boy has Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome. It's not his fault."

Anyway, maybe I'm getting ahead of myself here. I should really start at the beginning and go through things thoroughly—after all, I guess this needs to be approached scientifically if I'm to convince you that what I claim is true.

So, first things first. My name is Ishmael Leseur.

Now wait on, I know what you're going to say—I have the same name as my condition! You probably think I just invented it, so I can use it as an excusewhenever I make a complete fool of myself. But you don't get it. It's not that simple. You have to understand that the name is the condition—or at least part of it. I'm not absolutely sure on the precise details of how it works. After all, I am not a scientist. I'm just the victim here, but I do have my theories, and this is one of them.

Theory one: Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome is triggered by the release of a deadly virus that results from the combination of the words "Ishmael" and "Leseur."

Now, I have thought about this a lot, so let me explain some of my conclusions. As I see it, the individual letters by themselves are harmless. The combination of letters forming the separate words "Ishmael" and "Leseur" also seem relatively harmless. To illustrate this I refer to the other members of my immediate family: namely my father, Ron Leseur, insurance salesman and co-founder of the 1980s rock group the Dugongs; my mother, Carol Leseur, local councillor and chief family organizer; and my thirteen-year-old sister, Prue Leseur.

Now, as you can see, each of the above carries the name Leseur, yet I assure you that none of them suffers from any of the horrible symptoms you are about to hear described. In fact, I'd have to say, most of the time my mother and father seem painfully happy and content and, to rub it in, my sister, Prue—according to every friend, relative, and stranger who has ever set eyes on her—is "adorable." She also has an IQ somewhere near genius level. If brains were cars, Prue would be a Rolls-Royce while I would be a Goggomobil up on blocks with half its engine missing. And how do you think that makes me feel? Well, I'll tell you. Like the only person ever rejected for the job of village idiot, because he was waaaay overqualified. Or, as Prue so thoughtfully explained it to me one day, "Human beings use only ten percent of their brain, which would seem, in your case, Ishy, nowhere near enough."

So there you have it. The only conclusion you can possibly draw from my family's immunity to the syndrome is that it is triggered only by the fatal combination of the words "Ishmael" and "Leseur."

The way I see it is, the linking of these particular sounds must result in some kind of chemical reaction that germinates a virus, which then mutates the cells of the body, causing an increase in deadly toxins. These deadly toxins then infect the brain and nervous system, which results in the sufferer saying and doing things that would embarrass even a complete moron. I haven't quite been able to prove this theory yet; science is not my best subject. I'm much better at English, actually, but who wouldn't be with Miss Tarango as your teacher? But that's another story, and as Miss often reminds me, I have to watch my "structuring" when I write. Apparently I have a tendency to wander off the point.

Anyway, the point is, I didn't end up with Ishmael Leseur's Syndrome because of any chance combining of those two words. Oh no. I am who I am because of a deliberate act. You see, I know the circumstances surrounding the creation of my name in excruciating detail, and I know exactly who is responsible.

I will record their names now in this journal for all to see.

The ones who burdened me with the curse of Ishmael Leseur's were my parents. That's right, the aforementioned (this is an excellent word in a serious document such as this—Miss Tarango would approve) Ron and Carol Leseur. You can't blame them, of course. Parents are supposed to name their children. What happened wasn't their fault. They had no idea what a terrible thing they were doing.

Perhaps, though, I would find it a little easier to accept if they hadn't been laughing hysterically at the time they did it.

Don't Call Me Ishmael. Copyright © by Michael Bauer. Reprinted by permission of HarperCollins Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved. Available now wherever books are sold.

Customer Reviews

Average Rating 4.5
( 2 )

Rating Distribution

5 Star

(1)

4 Star

(1)

3 Star

(0)

2 Star

(0)

1 Star

(0)

Your Rating:

Review Guidelines
Add Recommendations
Your Name: Create a Pen Name or Leave Anonymously

Barnes & Noble.com Review Rules

Our reader reviews allow you to share your comments on titles you liked, or didn't, with others. By submitting an online review, you are representing to Barnes & Noble.com that all information contained in your review is original and accurate in all respects, and that the submission of such content by you and the posting of such content by Barnes & Noble.com does not and will not violate the rights of any third party. Please follow the rules below to help ensure that your review can be posted.

Reviews by Our Customers Under the Age of 13

We highly value and respect everyone's opinion concerning the titles we offer. However, we cannot allow persons under the age of 13 to have accounts at BN.com or to post customer reviews. Please see our Terms of Use for more details.

What to exclude from your review:

Please do not write about reviews, commentary, or information posted on the product page. If you see any errors in the information on the product page, please send us an email.

Reviews should not contain any of the following:

  • - HTML tags, profanity, obscenities, vulgarities, or comments that defame anyone
  • - Time-sensitive information such as tour dates, signings, lectures, etc.
  • - Single-word reviews. Other people will read your review to discover why you liked or didn't like the title. Be descriptive.
  • - Comments focusing on the author or that may ruin the ending for others
  • - Phone numbers, addresses, URLs
  • - Pricing and availability information or alternative ordering information
  • - Advertisements or commercial solicitation

Reminder:

  • - By submitting a review, you grant to Barnes & Noble.com and its sublicensees the royalty-free, perpetual, irrevocable right and license to use the review in accordance with the Barnes & Noble.com Terms of Use.
  • - Barnes & Noble.com reserves the right not to post any review -- particularly those that do not follow the terms and conditions of these Rules. Barnes & Noble.com also reserves the right to remove any review at any time without notice.
  • - See Terms of Use for other conditions and disclaimers.
Search for Products You'd Like to Recommend

Recommend other products that relate to your review. Just search for them below and share!

Create a Pen Name

Your Pen Name is your unique identiy on BN.com. It will appear on the reviews you write and other website activities. Your Pen Name cannot be edited, changed or deleted once submitted.

Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

We're sorry, but penname is already taken.

Please select one of the following:
Your Pen Name can be any combination of alphanumeric characters (plus - and _), and must be at least two characters long.

Continue Anonymously

penname is available!

By visiting the BN.com website or marking a purchase on BN.com, a User is deemed to have accepted the Terms of Use.

Continue Anonymously

Welcome, penname

You have successfully created your Pen Name. Start enjoying the benefits of the BN.com Community today.

Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews

  • Posted April 27, 2009

    more from this reviewer

    I Also Recommend:

    9780060856922 9780440237679

    wow

    i read this in my school library, and i would have to say that this book is simply awesome, spunky, and fresh! i would read it over and over again if i had any free time.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.

  • Anonymous

    Posted March 2, 2008

    How to stand up on your own to a bully

    I loved this book,by it's originallity and how to stand up for youself ,for example if you see a bully taunting to a another person or yourself and teasing you or callling you a bad name, you should speak up tell that person to stop,if he or she would not listen to you . then you should get an adult for help. Or Just walk away. I recommended this book cause it tells you to learn how to cope with bullies.

    Was this review helpful? Yes  NoThank you for your feedback.   Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.
Sort by: Showing all of 2 Customer Reviews
If you find inappropriate content, please report it to Barnes & Noble
Why is this product inappropriate?
Comments (optional)
500 character limit