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The New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess.
Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously genre-defining books, I Hope They Serve Beer In Hell and Assholes Finish First, ends here.
But as you should expect from Tucker by now, he is going out with a bang—literally and figuratively. In this book, you’ll learn:
* How to live and work in Cancun, while still enrolled in Law School
* Why Halloween is really awesome
* How to subtly torture a highstrung roommate until he explodes with furious anger over a misplaced condiment
* What really happened when a dirty pageant girl tried to sue Tucker because he told the truth
* Why you should never accept a homemade treat from a hippie with a van
As we’ve come to learn from Tucker, assholes do finish first...but everything comes with a price.
This all-new collection of Tucker Max stories will refresh fans of his website and his bestselling Assholes Finish First and I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell. These outrageous stories of bachelor parties, wedding receptions, Mexican sojourns, and law school roommates might make you wish that you could live at least briefly on the wild side.
— Jules Herbert
Author's Note ix
The Cancun Stories 1
Why to learn CPR 3
Boot and rally 5
Give me two pair, I need two pair 6
Welcome to the Thunderdome 7
How Tucker Max became 'Tucker Max" 8
It's a love spot 12
The First Rule of Mexico 14
Finder's Fee 15
Bambi 16
Sweet Caroline 18
Eat your heart out Jason Bourne 19
The Final Straw 21
The Consequences 25
Postscript 26
Drugs are Bad, Mmmkay? 29
SlingBlade's Account 30
Tucker's Account 37
Sexting With Tucker Max: Absurd 41
Why Halloween is Awesome 60
2002, part 1 61
2002, part 2 67
2003 75
2006 80
Fat Girls Cross Tucker, Hilarity Ensues 92
The Fat and the Furious 92
True Friendship 96
The Deadliest Vacation 103
The Invitation 103
The Anchorage party and the $200 Bear Mace Special 108
The Time Bandit 119
Dutch Harbor 133
Sexting with tucker max! Mean 152
The Fight Stories 173
The TMZ Debacle 174
Tucker gets into fight, hilarity ensues 180
Meet My Friend Hate 191
The Backstory 191
The Pizza Incident 195
The Italian Restaurant 197
The Italy Trip 202
The Apartment 205
The Airbag 209
The Jimmy John's Incident 213
The Leftovers 218
Tucker Ruins a Wine Tasting 221
The Ex-Girlfriend Threesome Fallout 228
In the Trunk 235
The (Almost Banned, Now Complete) Miss Vermont Story 244
Introduction 244
The (now complete) Miss Vermont Story 246
The Lawsuit 289
Postscript: Some speculation 304
Tucker Max, Knee Abuser 327
Sexting With Tucker Max! A/S/Location, Location, Location 333
The Law School Weddings and Bachelor Parties 36O
El Bingeroso's Bachelor Party, Part 1, Charlotte, NC 360
GoldenBoy's Bachelor Party, Las Vegas, NV 363
El Bingeroso's Bachelor Party, Part 2, Kansas City, MO 371
El Bingeroso's Wedding, Lawrence, KS 386
GoldenBoy's Wedding, Outer Banks, NC 391
JonBenet's (sort of) Bachelor Party, Tampa, FL 391
PWJ's Bachelor Party, Montreal 405
PWJ'S Wedding, Lexington, KY 418
The Death of SlingBlade, Phoenix AZ 433
Hate's Bachelor Party, Tampa, FL 436
Hate's Wedding, Pittsburgh, PA 438
Tucker's Bachelor Party and Wedding 443
Epilogue: The Retirement 444
Acknowledgements 449
Anonymous
Posted February 14, 2012
As much as im sure i will greatly enjoy this book i have yet to read it, none of text or pages show up on my nook. I have no explination for this and it greatly angers me that i pay for something and have it not work. I just want to read my book.
Has this happened to anybody?
7 out of 14 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.brucearmstrong1
Posted February 14, 2012
Okay, we got it. Tucker Max is a pig. Now he's just rehashing the same old puerile, obscene, abusive stories time and again. Don't waste your time on this piece of trash. Don't throw it away, burn it - your garbage can is too good for this dreck.
3 out of 7 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 10, 2012
This had some funny moments but they coyld have just been tagged on to AFF
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 10, 2012
The stories are getting old, I think he's lost his touch.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.riccaroni
Posted March 5, 2012
I personally found this to be the best of the Tucker Max series (I have yet to begin Sloppy Seconds). You can tell that Tucker enjoys his memories, but that the stories he's told don't define him. I could see an older, more mature Tucker in the story telling and I really enjoyed the stories he had to tell. I'm very excited to see what types of books he has to offer in the future. He's a talented writer who has more to offer than his humorous stories.
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 14, 2012
The same thing happened to us! Ridicuous. We need a refund!
2 out of 5 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted April 25, 2013
He is wayyy too self- absorbed
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted March 21, 2013
Tucker Max's bread and butter are his outrageous tales, but his aged voice definitely comes through in his final installment. I thoroughly enjoyed this novel but it was rather melancholy albeit understandable and self aware, to see him move on from his regailing readers with his antics.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.AndriaNYC
Posted April 3, 2012
This book was so disappointing that it makes me want to write to Mr. Max. His other books have been hilarious and very entertaining. I am glad this was his last one on his exploits because its a collection of anticlimactic stories. MR. MAX!!! You could do better than this!!
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.JDM78
Posted April 1, 2012
Its funny, but I've read all of his other books and he keeps telling stories that I've already read before in his past books, in his new one. If you haven't read any of his stuff, then definitely read this one.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 26, 2012
If you liked the others youll love this one too
1 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 20, 2012
He is very funny but rude.... i was laughing the whole time
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 17, 2012
I paid for this and its blank. Very upset.
1 out of 5 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.At the end of "Hilarity Ensues" Tucker Max informs us that this is the third and final volume of his trilogy devoted to fratire. This is probably for the best. The stories in "Hilarity Ensues" seemed very fimiliar as though they were rehashed from his two earlier volumes. Because I think Max is a surprisingly talented writer, it will be interesting to see what his future efforts produce.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted February 7, 2012
It starts off kind of slowly but really picks up. One problem is that the text messages dont display the way they should on the nook tablet or my galaxy nexus phone.
1 out of 5 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted December 29, 2012
I laughed so long i came close to pissing my self
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted May 24, 2012
...Hilarious!! One of the funniest books I have ever read and most definitely the most hilarious author out there. To bad its his last book in this style. Cant wait to see whats next
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted April 21, 2012
S w h ey
0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted April 16, 2012
I liked it better than the cirst book
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.DavidPes
Posted April 7, 2012
Not funny. I am not going to even finish reading it and I am only in the beginning.
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Overview
The New York Times bestselling author of I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell and Assholes Finish First delivers a new collection of thirty 100% true, 100% exclusive stories of comically perverse excess.
Another installment in Tucker Max’s series of stories about his drunken debauchery and ridiculous antics. What began as a simple sentence on an obscure website, “My name is Tucker Max, and I am an asshole,” and developed into two infamously ...