Loss (Riders of the Apocalypse Series)

Loss (Riders of the Apocalypse Series)

4.3 8
by Jackie Morse Kessler

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Fifteen-year-old Billy Ballard is the kid that everyone picks on. But things change
drastically when Death tells Billy he must stand in as Pestilence, the White Rider of
the Apocalypse. Now armed with a Bow that allows him to strike with disease from
a distance, Billy lashes out at his tormentors...and accidentally causes an outbreak of


Fifteen-year-old Billy Ballard is the kid that everyone picks on. But things change
drastically when Death tells Billy he must stand in as Pestilence, the White Rider of
the Apocalypse. Now armed with a Bow that allows him to strike with disease from
a distance, Billy lashes out at his tormentors...and accidentally causes an outbreak of
meningitis. Horrified by his actions, Billy begs Death to take back the Bow. For that to
happen, says Death, Billy must track down the real White Rider, and stop him from
unleashing something awful on humanity—something that could make the Black
Plague look like a summer cold. Does one bullied teenager have the strength to stand
his ground—and the courage to save the world?

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher

 Praise for Hunger:

An ALA Quick Pick for Reluctant Young Adult Readers

* "Realistic and compassionate. . . . the writing is never preachy, and it allows an interesting exploration of both intensely personal food issues and global ones."
SLJ, starred review

"Jackie Morse Kessler does a fine job of taking a critical issue that has been explored in writing no small number of times, and putting a new and thought provoking spin on it. . . . Sheer genius."
New York Journal of Books

"Powerful, fast-paced, hilarious, heart-wrenching. . . . This story will grab the reader and never let go."
Romantic Times Magazine

"Hunger is not just a good book. It is a great book. It is funny and sad, brilliant and tragic, and most of all, it speaks truth. . . . I adore it."
—Rachel Caine, author of The Morganville Vampires

"A fantastic and gripping read that never shies from its difficult subject matter. . . . This book is a knockout."
—A.S. King, author of Everybody See the Ants

Praise for Rage:

A Junior Library Guild Selection

An ALA Quick Pick for Reluctant Young Adult Readers

"Rage is raw and real, a truly dark, honest look at self-harm and the teenage psyche. Kessler left me breathless."
—Heather Brewer, author of the New York Times bestselling series, The Chronicles of Vladimir Tod

"The elegant mix of dark humor, brilliantly developed characters, and just enough moral threads to lead readers to make their own conclusions is impressive."

"Raw, visceral, pulling no punches, this story strikes home like a razor blade. It’s unforgettable, heart wrenching, and enlightening."
Realms of Fantasy


Praise for Loss:

"Kessler blends fantasy, history, humor, and hard reality into a gripping tale."

"Jackie Morse Kessler has a keen eye for capturing the awkward uncertainty of adolescence, which she wraps quite deliciously in a coating of mystery, fright, and suspense. Loss is a treat for readers, a one-of-a-kind, twisty turny carnival ride. . . . I loved this book."
—Andrew Smith, author of The Marbury Lens

"Whip-smart and elegant."
—Saundra Mitchell, author of The Vespertine

"Gritty and raw with powerful truths. An addictive read."
—Sophie Jordan New York Times bestselling author of Firelight


Praise for Breath:

A Junior Library Guild Selection 

"A riveting read."
—Kirkus Reviews

"The series is a strong and unique attempt to encourage troubled teens to consider their options and accept the help they need, while exposing all readers to the pain their friends may be experiencing."

Children's Literature - Kristi Bernard
Billy Ballard was different and he was sick of it. He was bullied often and beaten regularly by Eddie Glass and others. All Billy ever wanted was to blend in with the crowd, because then he could finally be that guy that no one would push around. So far he had hidden the bruises from his mother. She had enough to worry about with her father wrapped tightly in the arms of Alzheimer's. The only joy Billy had for now was his friendship with Marianne. She had been his friend since kindergarten and she understood him. She just didn't understand why he hadn't asked for help to get the bullies off of him. Billy knew what was real in his life; he also knew there were some strange things happening too, the strangest being his encounter with death—an actual horseman. And what's worse is, death has a favor, or is it more than that? Billy learns that his recurring dream of "The Ice Cream Man" was no dream at all. He was tricked into wearing the crown of Pestilence, the White Rider, when he was five years old. Realizing the power he has, Billy is pushed into summoning it when the bullies confront him at school, yet again. He wields the power of Pestilence and struck down his enemy with an appropriate sickness. Billy didn't like what he was becoming. He didn't want to be the very thing he despised, a bully that attacked others who are weak. The only way that Billy can save himself is to find the Ice Cream Man, and return him to his body and make him take his job back. But it won't be easy; the Ice Cream Man is in hiding in a world that wraps itself in white with the memories and horror of the Ice Cream Man's own fears and terrors. Billy is losing himself and is desperate to get back his life and gain his future. In the white, Billy learns that when Pestilence stepped down and refused to ride, the bow that shot the diseases never stopped. It had a mind of its own and was out of control. If Billy didn't find the Ice Cream Man, what would or could become of the world? Whatever it meant, Billy knew he had to stop it. Kessler puts us in a place we don't like to go. Being bullied and finding the strength to stand up for oneself is a path most of us have taken. The path is long and often times not very reassuring that a person could survive. Kessler has put readers in the world of bullying by creating a world surrounding the Four Horsemen and a quest for a teenager to find himself. The theme is powerful and readers will feel the emotion of the words and character in this dramatic story. A page-turner for sure just like the rest of her series, Kessler has created a good, rhythmic and visual read that anyone would enjoy and relate to no matter what age.
School Library Journal
Gr 7 Up—Fifteen-year-old Billy Ballard is the kid whom every bully in school zeroes in on. At home, he is left in charge of his grandfather, who has Alzheimer's, while his mother works a second job to support the family. The only joy in Billy's world comes from his longtime friendship with Marianne. He would like to move her into girlfriend status, but he's too chicken to take the initiative. One night while he's keeping his grandfather company, Death comes to Billy's door. The teen assumes Death has come for Gramps, but it has come for him. Death wants Billy's help. It seems that long ago Billy was tricked into making a deal with Pestilence, the White Rider of the Apocalypse, and Death has come to hold him to it. Billy must convince the White Rider, who has turned insane, not to unleash a plague that will wipe out the entire world. To do this, he must travel through time and find a way to bring the White Rider back to sanity and to prevent the end of the world. Kessler blends fantasy, history, humor, and hard reality into a gripping tale. Although it is part of a series, it stands on its own as it addresses the issues of bullying, having a relative with Alzheimer's, and finding the power within yourself to do what is right.—Kathy Kirchoefer, Prince Georges County Memorial Library System, New Carrollton, MD
Kirkus Reviews
Bullied Billy Ballard must take Pestilence's crown and ride with the Horsemen of the Apocalypse or let the world be destroyed, in this third book in the Riders of the Apocalypse Quartet. Haunted by his childhood promise to the disease-riddled Ice Cream Man (aka the White Rider/Pestilence/the Conqueror), 15-year-old Billy is nonetheless surprised when Death asks him to abandon his mortal life and assume apocalyptic power. Given that Billy's world is filled with bullies--whose motives are inadequately explained--a workaholic mother and a grandfather made alien and violent by Alzheimer's, a new life seems preferable. Unlike War and Famine (in Rage, 2011, and Hunger, 2010), Billy has a choice: Defeat the Conqueror or convince him to ride forth and restore balance. Billy dreamwalks among Pestilence's millennia of memories of suffering, only to have the White Rider return and try to save the world by sickening it--an illogical solution paralleled by other equally incoherent plot points. Issues of bullying and Alzheimer's vie for attention, unsubtly and incongruously matched with a dark fantasy story about apocalyptic personifications. Flat characters--the horses have more pizzazz than the obligatory love interest, Marianne Bixby--undermine Billy's epiphany of self-worth and social belonging. A book about "bullies and bruises and babysitting Gramps" with apocalyptic interludes--the End cannot come quickly enough. (Fantasy. 12 & up)

Product Details

Demco Media
Publication date:
Riders of the Apocalypse Series , #3
Edition description:
Product dimensions:
5.50(w) x 8.10(h) x 0.90(d)
850L (what's this?)
Age Range:
13 - 17 Years

Read an Excerpt

Chapter 2


. . . and ripped the buds from his ears as he staggered to the bedroom door. He was on autopilot, his body reacting to his mother hollering "Dad!" again and again while his brain tried to process that he wasn’t still sleeping. He’d been dreaming the sort of dream that felt like it was really happening. The images were already fading—the threads had begun unraveling as soon as his mom had started screaming—but one memory remained: the man in white.

The Ice Cream Man, Billy thought muddily as he opened his door, the Ice Cream Man’s going to let me ride the white horse . . .

His mother raced down the hallway, screaming for her father. "Dad! Dad, where are you? Martin! Come out!"

Billy had to shout to get her attention. "Did Gramps get out again?"

"I don’t know," she said too fast. "He might have, or he could be here in the house somewhere, there’s so many places he could be if he jimmied the locks and . . . oh God, the kitchen cabinet!" She bolted down the hallway, banking the corner and heading for the kitchen.

Billy’s heartbeat thundered in his throat, his ears, behind his eyes. Here we go again, he thought bleakly, even as patted down his pockets to make sure he still had his keys and phone. The last time Gramps had been alone, he’d almost set the house on fire. When Billy had gotten the matches away from him, his grandfather had slugged him in the eye. The rest of the night, Gramps had screeched at Billy, calling him horrible names and threatening to kill him.

"It’s not him," his mom had told Billy all that night, the next morning, the next week. "It’s the Alzheimer’s talking, not him." As if that magically made everything better.

Billy locked his bedroom door and joined his mom in the kitchen. She was tugging on the cabinet under the sink, testing the child-safety lock. It was still on, so his grandfather couldn’t have gotten into the drain cleaner. Billy asked, "Any doors open?"

His mom didn’t answer. She was still pulling at the cabinet door, fixated on it, as if breaking the lock would somehow produce Gramps.

Billy tried the back door, but it was locked tight. Same with the door to the garage. But the front door, the one masked by the wall poster of a bookcase, was slightly ajar—the same poster that usually hid the door also camouflaged how the door hadn’t been completely closed.

Gritting his teeth, Billy called out, "Front door!" And then he raced outside, looking around for any sign of his grandfather. "Gramps!" he yelled, then switched to cries of "Martin! Martin Walker! Can you hear me?" His voice echoed back at him like music.

That was when he realized the block was oddly quiet. Usually, midafternoon on a weekday, cars streamed up and down the street; on a warm afternoon like today, kids should be hanging out, riding bikes or skateboards. But today, the street was barren. Dead.

No, not quite. Down at the end of the block, a guy was playing a guitar.

Thank God, Billy thought, racing down the sidewalk. When Gramps escaped the house, he tended to walk a straight line, so there was a good chance he’d gone right by the street musician. The guitarist was blond and lean, doing the grunger thing like he’d sprung out of a Seattle 1990s brochure. Not bad at the guitar, either. The musician started singing as Billy approached—a familiar tune, but Billy couldn’t quite place it. He stumbled to a halt in front of the guitarist’s open case, which was lying open on the pavement and sparkled with coins reflecting the sunlight.

Pennies. All of the coins were pennies. Billy thought that was both odd and, for some reason, strangely appropriate.

"Years and years I’ve roamed," the blond guitarist sang.

That had to be a good omen. "Hey," Billy said, huffing from his sprint. "Did you see an old man walk this way?"

The guitarist stopped singing, but his fingers kept strumming, keeping the tune alive. He smiled lazily. "What, walking hunched over and gasping for breath? Nope. But I did see a man wander past not even five minutes ago."

Billy blinked, absorbed both the joke and the information, then asked, "Did he keep going straight?" He pointed farther down the street.


"Thanks," said Billy, then reached in his pocket for some change, just a small tip to thank the guy. But before he could toss the money into the guitar case, the musician grabbed his arm. Billy was stunned by the contact, and even more by the strength and chill of the guitarist’s fingers. It felt like frozen branches had wrapped around his wrist.

"No need for that," said the musician.

Billy stammered, "Wanted to thank you."

The guitarist kept smiling, but now there was an edge to it. "Then give thanks instead of coin, William Ballard. Otherwise, you’ll get what you pay for, and there’s no time."

Shocked speechless, Billy couldn’t ask how the musician knew his name.

"You have only three minutes before your grandfather causes a rather messy accident," said the guitarist. His blue eyes glinted wickedly in the sunlight. "He’s walking in the street, and the driver’s about to text his girlfriend."

Billy’s mouth worked silently, gaping like a fish suffocating in air.

"Go," commanded the guitarist, releasing Billy’s wrist. "Less than three minutes now. You’d better run."

Billy ran.

The pale horse shook its head, as if shaking away a fly.

"What?" said Death. "It was just a little friendly advice."

The horse snorted.

Death smiled at his steed. "You’re just annoyed that he didn’t see you."

If the horse had a comment, the steed kept it to itself.

Still smiling, Death began to play the guitar once more.

Rushing forward, Billy’s thoughts were a mad jumble as he wondered how the street musician knew his name. Not a musician. A Rider. He’s the Pale Rider and he says Gramps is going to be in an accident, have to hurry, hurry, find Gramps . . .

Lost in his mind’s free flow, Billy sprinted down the street. He was thinking now about his grandfather, of the man who’d read him bedtime stories and chased away any monsters crouching in the closet. Martin Walker had been a bear of a man when Billy was young, a towering presence that had filled the house and made Billy feel safe—

(even after the Ice Cream Man, a voice whispered in the back of Billy’s mind)

—even after his dad had gone away. Without Gramps, he never would have learned to ride a bike, or catch a fish, or so many other things. He vividly remembered the feeling of his grandfather’s calloused fingers over his smaller, softer ones as Gramps taught him how to swing a baseball bat; he heard pride in the memory of his grandfather’s voice, pride and love as Gramps encouraged him and congratulated him every time the bat connected and sent the ball sailing across the sky. Just believe you can do it, Gramps would say. Believe, and stand tall.

He had to find his grandfather. Had to.

You have only three minutes before your grandfather causes a rather messy accident.

How long had Billy been running? A minute? Two? Surely not three. Only three minutes, the guitarist had said, and never mind how the blond man knew that his grandfather would be in an accident; the street musician had declared it, and Billy believed him.

Of course Billy believed him; he was the Pale Rider, and he knew when people were scheduled to die.

Oh my God, Billy thought, wind-tears stinging his eyes, I’m going crazy.

No, he had no time for that. Muscles screaming, chest burning, Billy raced across the neighborhood, his feet slapping the ground in a backbeat to his labored breathing. No air to waste calling his grandfather’s name. No air, no time, no . . .


Up ahead, his grandfather was threading himself between parked cars. Each time he looped around, he wandered into the middle of the street and paused, then continued on, moving to another car and circling it before heading back to the center lane once more. His open jacket flapped around his body like a cape.

His gaze locked on his grandfather’s coat, Billy snarled as rage flooded him, tinting his world red. Didn’t even take off his jacket, he thought, wasn’t home long enough to take off his jacket. Mom was in a hurry and forgot to lock the door and she didn’t even help him out of his jacket and this is her fault!

Fueled with righteous anger, Billy rocketed forward, shouting, "Martin! Martin Walker, please stop!"

The old man froze, then slowly turned his head until he saw Billy. Even halfway down the block, he sensed the tension crackling along his grandfather’s limbs.

Gramps was going to bolt.

Billy forced himself to stop, stumbling his way to a graceless halt. Hands out, imploring, Billy called out, "Mr. Walker, we’ve been worried about you."

His grandfather didn’t move. There was a gleam in his eyes, something caged and frantic.

Billy took a step forward, and then another, keeping his arms out, palms up, showing Gramps that he meant him no harm. "Mom—Jane’s been looking for you."

The name penetrated. The old man cocked his head and asked, "Janey?"

"Yes, Janey." So hard to project his voice and yet keep it soft, unthreatening. Another step, and then another. Walking slowly now, he said, "She needs you, Mr. Walker. Janey needs you. Will you please come with me?"

His grandfather frowned, but he didn’t run. Progress.

Billy took another step, and that’s when he saw the car. It barreled forward, nowhere even close to going thirty—it was doing at least fifty, sixty, a hundred miles an hour, a moss green car gunning for his grandfather.

He launched himself at the old man, whose eyes widened in either fear or fury. Gramps didn’t turn around, didn’t see the pale streak of death careening straight toward him.

With a defiant cry, Billy tackled his grandfather. The two of them flew in a tangle of limbs, the old man screeching and Billy howling, wrapping himself around Gramps to cushion him from the impact. They landed hard against a parked car, a dirty white sedan. The pale green car drove past, veering slightly to the left. Billy caught sight of the driver suddenly looking up. The car straightened and continued going past, going, going . . . gone.

Billy let out a shaky, relieved breath. And that’s when his grandfather punched him in the jaw. "Ow! What—"

"Off!" Gramps punched him again.

"Quit it!" Billy held on to his grandfather with one hand and tried to protect his face with the other. "Gramps, stop!"

The old man snarled, "Off me! Off!"

"Janey," Billy said, trying to be patient even with his heart thundering in his chest. "Janey needs you, Mr. Walker."

The name worked its magic once more: His grandfather’s face softened. "Janey?"

"She’s waiting for you. At home."

"Huh." The old man lowered his fists and stopped pulling away from Billy.

"I’ll take you there, sir. Okay?"


Billy nudged Gramps gently, and together they shuffle-walked the path back to Billy’s house. They paused only twice: The first time was so Billy could maneuver his cell phone out of his back pocket and call his mom to tell her they were headed home, and the second was when they passed a particular corner where a street musician had been playing the guitar and singing about a man who’d sold the world.

Where the guitarist had been, two old pennies shone cheerfully in the afternoon sun.

Meet the Author

Jackie Morse Kessler is the author of the the Riders of the Apocalypse quartet for teen readers, along with several paranormal and dark fantasy books for adults. She lives in upstate New York. Visit her website at www.jackiemorsekessler.com.

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Loss 4.4 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 8 reviews.
chapterxchapter More than 1 year ago
Loss is one of those books that I just can’t get out of my head. I shed many tears, held my breath at different points in the book, felt angry, felt happiness – another emotional rollercoaster ride! In this installment of the Riders of the Apocalypse series, Jackie Morse Kessler brings us right into the heart of bullying. I am a huge anti-bullying advocate. Anytime I read about it, see anything about it, hear anything about it, a little something inside of me snaps and my emotions are visible for all to see. Loss brought out all of those emotions for me. If there’s anything that I try to cement into my kids’ head, it is not to be mean to anyone. If they see someone who is eating alone, or is sitting alone, to befriend them! Ask them to join…make them feel not as lonely. One of the things that my friends always say about me is that I always include everyone. I don’t leave anyone out, and I was always the one in school who stuck up for the ones who were being bullied. And I’m proud of that. And I want my kids to say the same thing when they grow up. Loss is similar to that of the other 2 books of this series, Hunger and Rage BUT it is so different in so many different ways. In Loss we see Billy Ballard not only fight his own personal battles with bullying but also has an epic battle in which he has to fight to save the entire world. HUGE weight on his shoulders! We also get to see the past life of The White Rider (the Conqueror), Pestilence, and how he came to be one of the Riders. Jackie Morse Kessler also weaves a creative, ingenious twist on King Midas, whose touch (as we know it) turned everything into gold. In the past books, we see the main characters having their Titles imposed upon them due to the deaths of their predecessors, but in Loss, the White King lives and it is up to Billy to have Pestilence continue his duties as the White Rider or to have the Title himself. An interesting aspect of this book was how Kessler weaved the thoughts and memories of Pestilence into a dreamlike state where we are treated with memories of his past, and his feelings and thoughts of when Death appointed him as Pestilence. Of all the books, THIS ONE is the one I can see as a movie. Every page played out the movie in my mind, complete with the fast forward fast action memory sequences to slow motion play by plays. The book itself is divided into three parts; one where we see the bullying of Billy and how he ends up being chosen to be Pestilence, one where we see the thoughts and memories of the White King where Billy learns what he needs to know to save all of humanity, and one where we see the epic battle unfold and where we see Billy make his ultimate decision. Kessler’s writing in Loss is unforgettable and surpasses the first two books. Fans of the Riders of the Apocalypse series will totally devour Loss and will bear witness to Billy Ballard, a boy who has been bullied for most of his life, save all of humanity.
Nikkayme More than 1 year ago
Loss is unlike the other two Riders of the Apocalypse books and Jackie Morse Kessler’s new style and direction are both welcome and exciting. Billy Ballard’s life of being bullied is extremely relevant to anyone at any time. We all know that feeling, either personally or as a bystander. And boy does Billy Ballard suffer. He not just bullied on a regular basis, but he’s tortured. He’s made to feel like he is nothing, then he has to go home and hold the weight of his grandfather’s care on his shoulders. Billy’s Gramps having Alzheimer’s adds another layer to the story and especially to Billy. Billy feels inadequate as a human being because of his bullying. When Death comes to him, telling him to take his place as Pestilence, Billy feels like he cannot do it. Yet, day in and day out, he cares for a man he loves who barely even recognizes him. Billy’s strong, but doesn’t realize it. I said Loss was very different from the previous two books in this quartet. And it is. Very much so. Not only is Billy Ballard the center point of the book and the new Pestilence, but the old Pestilence still reigns; He’s just a little crazy and hanging out in his own mind. The division between Billy and what becomes known as The White is startlingly clear. We journey, along with Billy, through the hell that King White (Pestilence) has suffered through and even unleashed on the world. For the first time, we get to see how being a Rider is a huge responsibility, but also a looming burden. What comes out of this is stuff made of human nature’s greatest fears and faults. Billy Ballard is a boy staring down the barrel of the gun and he may not be brave enough or strong enough to fight back. Discovering if he is a thrilling experience. Loss is unlike either of the previous two Riders books, but it’s also exactly like them. Jackie Morse Kessler has developed a way to dig into some deep emotions and pull them out. Loss is by far the best of the quartet thus far and I doubt I’ll forget Billy Ballard or King White anytime soon.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Some of the scenes and subplots in Loss seem disconnected or added simply to connect the story to larger social issues. But the bullying Billy suffers and his effots to learn the powers of Pestilence are well-crafted scenes the give the novel its best moments. Not as strong as Hunger, Loss does regain its footing by novel's end, but here's hoping the next novel in the series concludes the story as strongly as it started.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Mandy Ellison More than 1 year ago
It seems like I waited for this book FOREVER and now I finally have it!!! YAAAAAAAY!!!!!!