Mr. Smartass

You come home from work, kiss your daughter’s cheek and ask how school went today. She says, “We had a substitute who said my teacher had to get treated for gonorrhea.” Then your precious little girl gazes up at you with wide eyes full of love and rainbows, and asks, “What’s gonorrhea?”

For ruining your child’s innocence and of the the awkward conversations that follow, you can thank Alan Raff, amateur malcontent and self-proclaimed titular character of Mr. Smartass.

Alan makes his triumphant...