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Fly Out of CHAOS
(Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)
Into Order—One BabyStep at a Time
With her special blend of housecleaning tips, humor, and musings about daily life, Marla Cilley, a.k.a. The FlyLady, shows you how to manage clutter and chaos and get your home—and your life—in order. Drawn from the lessons and tools used in her popular mentoring program, the FlyLady system helps you create doable housekeeping routines and break down overwhelming chores into manageable missions that will restore peace to your home—and your psyche. Soon you’ll be able to greet guests without fear, find your keys, locate your kids, and, most of all, learn how to FLY: Finally Love Yourself.
Chapter One
Your First BabyStep-Where to Begin
I was tempted to start by explaining why this book is different from all the other cleaning and organizing books that are now cluttering your bookshelves, being used to level the dining room table, or holding down a pile of clutter! But I won't; the FlyLady program is not about cleaning. It is about changing your life to make it more rewarding and leading to a more important goal, to FLY, or Finally Loving Yourself. This is a concept we will talk about throughout this book.
I started helping others through mentoring on the Internet and that help evolved into the FlyLady system. I am an avid fly fisherman and instructor. When I first started going online I needed a name, so I chose FlyLady. Since then FlyLady has taken on so many different forms. People ask me, "Are you THE FlyLady?" Friends ask each other, "Do you do FlyLady?" and on the Internet there are groups of FlyBabies that gather and chat with each other.
This book begins where anyone who becomes a member of FlyLady starts: with a BabyStep. We call this becoming a FlyBaby. And as you use this book, each of your BabySteps will add up. You will lose the feelings of guilt and failure that you've been nurturing. Your clutter will vanish and your life will change forever. I can hear you now, "What do I do first? Where do I start? My home is a total disaster and there is no way it is ever going to get clean!" Before you start, pencil in today's date on the inside of the back cover. This is the day you are beginning to FLY. You will know why soon enough. I know you are ready to get started, but hold your horses, because I don't want you to crash and burn. We ARE going to begin with a cleaning task. You just have to have faith that this is the best way to start. Your home did not get dirty in a day and it is not going to get clean overnight. With that warning to be kind to yourself, here is your very first assignment. It all starts with a shiny sink.
First BabyStep: shine your sink
I know that you don't understand why I want you to empty your sink of dirty dishes and clean and shine it when there is so much more to do. It is so simple. I want you to have a sense of accomplishment. You have struggled for years with a cluttered home and you are so beaten down. I just want to put a smile on your face. When you get up the next morning, your sink will greet you and a smile will come across your lovely face. I can't be there to give you a big hug, but I know how good it feels to see yourself reflected in your kitchen sink. So each morning this is my gift to you. Even though I can't be there to pat you on the back, I want you to know that I am very proud of you.
This is how to shine your sink; we like to call it Shiny Sink 101:(Note: If you have a special colored or decorative sink, check on your warranty for specific cleaning instructions.) With ceramic sinks you may not be able to see your reflection, but your heart will be shining because it's clean! You will still smile!
Do not complain or whine that you can't do this because it is full of dirty dishes and nasty water. I am not telling you to wash the dishes; all I want is for you to set the dirty dishes on the counter so you can get to the bottom of your sink. With an empty kitchen sink before you, I know you don't know what to do or where to start so I am going to give you specific instructions on this. You should also know that I have heard every excuse in the world when it comes to sinks, and I know that you may be a bit doubtful about this. Just trust. Even old sinks can look new again with a little elbow grease. BE SURE AND RINSE WELL BETWEEN EACH STEP since mixing chlorine-based products with household ammonia-based products can be toxic!
1. Take all the dishes out of your sink.
2. Then run some very hot water in the sink, to the rim. Pour a cup of household bleach (e.g. Clorox) in the hot water. Let it sit for 1 hour. Wear gloves and don't get it on your clothes.
3. Rinse your sink well.
4. Get some cleanser: Comet, Ajax, or Baking Soda and scrub your sink. Do not use ammonia-based products such as Windex with these.
5. Take a sharp edge and clean around the rim of the sink, just like you would clean dirt out from under your fingernails.
6. Clean around the faucets too. You may need an old toothbrush or dental floss.
7. Now get out your window cleaner (I use Windex) and give it a good shine.
8. If you still don't like the way it looks, then you could try some car wax. Just know in your heart that you have cleaned it very well and know it doesn't have to be perfect. Our perfectionism is what got us in this situation.
9. Every time you run water in your sink take your clean dishtowel and dry it. I lay out a clean one every night with my bedtime routine. Before you know it you will be doing this every time you leave your kitchen. The rest of the family will too. No more water spots. You will have a clean and shiny sink.
10. Don't be upset if someone doesn't take as much pride in your sink as you do. You have done the hard part. You will never have to go through this process again. Daily maintenance will keep it looking this way. Just be sure and tell your family what you are doing, otherwise they will think you have gone crazy. Your family cannot read your mind!
11. If you don't have a dishwasher, don't worry. A dishwasher is just a dirty dish disposal. Clean out a place under your sink and put a dishpan in there. Teach your family that instead of putting their dirty dishes and glasses in the sink, to place them in the dishpan. Get into the habit of putting your dishes away as soon as they have been washed and dried. No more leaving the dish drying rack on the counter or in the sink. Put it away under the sink when you have finished. If your old ones are nasty, you may want to soak them in the sink full of bleach water at the same time you soak the sink, or go buy yourself a new set. You deserve it as a reward for shining your sink. You are worth a couple of bucks.
12. To ensure that your family remembers this, put a note in the sink. It will get their attention and remind them where to put the dishes. Be patient! They have never been taught either. It is going to take some practice.
Now, if you have a stainless steel sink, I recommend all of the above directions with one added. After you soak it, rinse well and use a steel wool pad to scrub it. This will buff the finish. It will look like new. If you still can't get it to shine after the Windex, then put a light coat of wax, lemon oil, or olive oil on it. I mean just a tiny bit on a cloth and rub it. This will make you smile. Some people have had very good results from cleaning solutions used to keep bar tops clean.
This is your very first BabyStep-to keep your sink clean and shiny on a continual basis.
Beckmark
Posted April 1, 2009
I Also Recommend:
I signed up with the FlyLady's website, and really liked the system for getting my house clean and organized, along with organizing my life and creating PEACE where there was chaos. This book is a must read for any woman who has ever been exasperated and desperately wanted to have it "together" but had no clue where to start. FlyLady's euphamisms are a little folksy, but she makes you feel good about yourself, and is so encouraging- you really can get organized. Not overnight, not even in a month, but if you stick with it, you'll figure out your routines and all of the sudden, you'll look around and think, "Is this MY house?" That is a good feeling.
4 out of 4 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted July 24, 2005
Marla has it down pat. The best way to get ahead is with Baby-steps: One 15-minute interval at a time. As a SHE with a disabled dh, 3 ds, 2 dd, 2 dogs, and a cat, my life (and house) are total CHAOS. I am a FLY-er who previously gave up, but recently came home to FLY-ing. Through all the clutter and chaos, I will survive! Thanks to Marla and her system!
3 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted September 5, 2004
I love this book! This book helped me organize my home and life! I've read just about everybook on the subject, but this one is a keeper, just a few minutes a day and my house has STAYED clean, with three kids and two dogs I thought it was impossible to always be caught up on laundry and dishes but it is possible! Everyone with children needs this book! Also, check out the website!
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 9, 2003
This book is wonderful! It has become my 'bible' for showing me the way to organize my home. The author's approach is one of encouragement, hope, and simple routines to getting one's home and life to be managable. In a few short months, my home is so much better and I am 'FLYing!' (Finally Loving Yourself.) The book gives practical things you can do for only 15 minutes a day that will get you started on the adventure of a lifetime. It emphasizes the individuality of each person, encouraging the concept of 'babysteps', starting out slowly and emphasizing that you are not behind, and how you adapt this approach to your own family and home. Whether you are married, single, a stay-at-home mom or working at a job outside the home, this book is for you. It doesn't matter whether you live in a small apartment or a mansion, you will get everything you need from 'Sink Reflections.' This book has changed my life in more ways than I can say! Marla Cilley knows what it is like to live in C.H.A.O.S.(Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome), so she immediately understands where the reader is coming from. She has shown me the path out of my own C.H.A.O.S. and I can't praise her or this book enough. 'You can do this!' is one of her sayings...this is real and it works. Thank you, Marla!
2 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted October 1, 2002
This book is absolutely the last self-help book you will ever buy or feel the need to buy! I am still a FlyBaby but I am making progress each and every day. Her suggestions and reminders through out the day are workable and fit into anyone's busy schedule. Marla is a true gift to all of us SHE's (Side-tracked Home Executives) and living in CHAOS (Can't Have Anyone Over Syndrome) is fast becoming something that isn't in my vocabulary any more.
2 out of 3 people found this review helpful.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted June 3, 2011
I have also signed on with Marla Cilley's website and have followed the techniques outlined in the book. The difference between her techniques vs. all the others you will read is the difference between real wisdom vs. theoretical ideas. Her approach is an integrated, complete approach toward a constantly clean, organized house that is a haven of peace to live in. Things progressively become more organized and they stay that way, while routines maintain clean baths, dishes, clothes, etc. Pretty soon your house will be company ready all the time, and you'll find an surprising array of pleasant side effects with yourself, your family, friends, and your time.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted February 2, 2006
this realistic system is presented in easy-to-understand language with checklists and directives. If you follow the directions, your house will be cleaner and your days more organized. I've not done Spring Cleaning in 3 years, and my house is always clean (and usually tidy). This works for me!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted August 2, 2004
I stumbled upon Martha's website on a friend's recommendation, and was hooked. As a born SHE who never finished a project, became easily overwhelmed during marathon cleaning projects, and couldn't get a grip, this lady spoke to my heart. I have begun implementing the process, and more importantly, the thoughts behind the process. I can't wait for more from her!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted October 1, 2003
I love books that make a real impact - a REAL difference in my life. Sink Reflections has done just that. I'm not the best at following through on plans and while this book has helped me to get through the mess, I think it will also help me to stay on track. That's what I'm talking about!
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 14, 2003
This is a book that you want to purchase as soon as you finish reading this review. One of the best pieces of advice in it is that "you cannot organize clutter," you simply have to get rid of it. Marla Cilly's recommendations on how to "declutter" our lives are user-friendly, ready-to-apply-immediately lifesavers! Her "27 Fling Boogies" and "5 Minute Room Rescues" are the best!! Who doesn't have 15 MINUTES PER DAY (and she means just that!) to implement these suggestions? Applying them has changed my life and brought peace and blessings to my home. Using a timer or some type of clock, set for 15 minutes, is highly recommended in the book. When the bell rings, on to the next thing! This is one of the best investments you will ever make in your life.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted October 18, 2002
This book has really produced a change in my life. Though the focus would seem to be on being organized and keeping a warm home for your family, its message touches upon every aspect of life. It has taught me to take everything a little bit less seriously and to be able to more appropriatly estimate the true size of tasks by breaking them down into "baby steps". It drives home the point of self love. It is written by someone who understands chaos, has been there, and has been blessed with a path out that she ever so graciously has chosen to share with us all. A must read for those suffering from the stress of perfectionism and over doing everything.
1 out of 1 people found this review helpful.
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Posted May 13, 2013
Gentle
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.MaryR6
Posted November 13, 2012
This book is amazing ! If you aren't someone who gets side tracked this book may not be for you, but reviews with no comment, low stars and Anonymous shouldn't be allowed!!! It brings the rating down and is probably from a competing author.
Anonymous
Posted October 19, 2012
Real life answers.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Anonymous
Posted October 29, 2011
Helps anyone and everyone who is organizationally challenged. Maria Cilley really motivates and inspires - makes you want to "get dressed all the way to lace-up shoes", jump in and get started on those routines. Just remember what Flylady always says..."babysteps"! Enjoy!
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Posted July 7, 2010
Marla Cilley shares her own life experiences, her humor, her wisdom and her warmth for everyone in this life changing book. I recommend it for anyone who struggles with housework and self-acceptance. Marla helps you discover the place in you that shines to your family, your world and yourself.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.BookgirlTX
Posted March 21, 2010
This book is wonderful because it is so easy to follow. She breaks it down into such small steps that you can't help but say, "Well, I can do THAT." There are so many awesome tips and honestly the very first one, silly as it sounds, is what keeps me coming back to the system when I 'fall off the wagon' so to speak. She details cleaning your kitchen sink and how to keep it clean. "Shine Your Sink" is her mantra and it really is a great feeling to walk into your kitchen and see that pretty, clean sink with no glass rings or dirty pots in it. Makes you WANT to keep your sink clean, which makes you want to keep the kitchen clean, which makes you want the rest of the house to look like the kitchen....and it just snowballs from there. The only complaint I have (and I admit it is small and a little petty) is some of the cutesy language is a little hard to take after a while. It's bubbly and meant to be positive and encouraging, but I found myself thinking 'enough already'. BUT, as long as it keeps me on the road to a de-cluttered house, I can live with the bubbles.
Was this review helpful? Yes NoThank you for your feedback. Report this reviewThank you, this review has been flagged.Though I find the system, overall, usable... The style of writing in the book and the way she presents it comes across a bit heavy on the religious side. That is not to say that I am not a spiritual person, but come on... is GOD going to come clean my house for me?!? NO! I have to do that for myself, and no amount of "God Breezes" will change that.
The book she based her system from (Sidetracked Home Executives, available on this site too) is much lighter on that front and a bit more of a "walk-through", not to mention humorous. I found it much easier to work with.
0 out of 2 people found this review helpful.
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Posted January 22, 2004
Great book! Someone told me about this book, which made me pick up a copy and I am truly glad I did! This is the book of home organization for the rest of us! I learned that any kind of housework done 'blesses my home' and that a few focused minutes a day make a huge impact. Want to enjoy your environment at home? Do yourself a favor and read this one soon.
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Posted February 3, 2011
No text was provided for this review.
Overview
Fly Out of CHAOS
(Can’t Have Anyone Over Syndrome)
Into Order—One BabyStep at a Time
With her special blend of housecleaning tips, humor, and musings about daily life, Marla Cilley, a.k.a. The FlyLady, shows you how to manage clutter and chaos and get your home—and your life—in order. Drawn from the lessons and tools used in her popular mentoring program, the FlyLady system helps you create doable housekeeping...