Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood

4.1 15
by Drew Magary
     
 

View All Available Formats & Editions

 A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir from the author of The Hike and The Postmortal about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America 

No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety,

Overview

 A sharp, funny, and heartfelt memoir from the author of The Hike and The Postmortal about fatherhood and the ups and downs of raising a family in modern America 

No one writes about family quite like Drew Magary. In Someone Could Get Hurt, he reflects on his own parenting experiences to explore the anxiety, rationalizations, compromises, and overpowering love that come with raising children.

In brutally honest and funny stories, Magary reveals how American mothers and fathers cope with being in over their heads—from getting drunk while trick-or-treating and telling dirty jokes to make bath time go smoothly to committing petty vandalism to bond with a five-year-old.

Someone Could Get Hurt offers a hilarious and heartfelt look at child rearing with a glimpse into the genuine love and compassion that accompany the missteps and flawed logic. It’s the story of head lice, almost-dirty words, flat head syndrome, and a man trying to commit the ultimate act of selflessness in a selfish world.

Editorial Reviews

From the Publisher
“It’s an honest and hilarious portrayal of how aggravating it can be to raise a family.” —Justin Halpern, author of the New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says

“The world needs Drew Magary’s wonderfully funny, breathtakingly honest book about parenting.”
—Jen Doll, memoirist and senior writer at The Atlantic Wire

“The Father's Day book for dads who hate getting books for Father’s Day.”
—Will Leitch, author of Are We Winning? and God Save the Fan

“If you are a parent, I challenge you to not simultaneously laugh and sob through this entire book.”
—Rachel Dratch, comedian and author of Girl Walks into a Bar...

Praise for Drew Magary’s THE POSTMORTAL

"Unnerving. . . . An absorbing picture of dawning apocalypse. . . . A disturbing portrait of a society convinced it's close to utopia when a cure for aging is invented. Unsurprisingly, it doesn't take long for that seeming utopia to dissolve into a planet-overstressed from overpopulation, food and fuel shortages, and general lawlessness-going into systemic failure. . . . The Postmortal is a suitably chilling entry into the 'it's-the-end-of-the-world' canon."

The Austin Chronicle

"Magary's vision of future technology and science is eerily realistic. . . . By the time you finish, you'll want to hold your loved ones close and stockpile bottles of water. If all else fails, you could potentially make a living selling them a few decades from now."
The New York Press

"Magary's vision of future technology and science is eerily realistic. . . . By the time you finish, you'll want to hold your loved ones close and stockpile bottles of water. If all else fails, you could potentially make a living selling them a few decades from now."
Mark Frauenfelder, Boing Boing

"Immortality has figured in a number of sf novels prior to this one, but never, to my experience, in this way. . . . A very clear-eyed picture, one I don't think has been drawn before. . . . The Postmortal surprised me in a good way."
Michelle West, Fantasy & Science Fiction Magazine

"The Postmortal is a punchy, fast-paced and endearing story. . . . As the novel progresses, it turns from a snappy morality tale, to a noir- ish revenge fable, to an action movie; complete with guns, rogue religious cults and government-sanctioned hit men. The narrative comes to us through John's blog entries and collections of news bytes and pundit commentary. Through his sixty years as a 29-year-old, he experiences all the love, pain, grief, and terror of a standard lifetime and is still in good enough shape to kick some ass at the end. Like much good dystopian fiction, The Postmortal is an at-times unflattering commentary on human beings, present, past and future, that hits the mark in many ways. . . . For anyone intrigued with Life Extension science, it's a fun examination of our fears and expectations."
The Nervous Breakdown

"A darkly comic, totally gonzo, and effectively frightening population- bomb dystopia in the spirit of Logan's Run, Soylent Green, and the best episodes of The Twilight Zone."
Neal Pollack, author of Alternadad and Stretch

"As insanely entertaining as it is ambitious, The Postmortal takes us into an America set in the next few years and coming apart under the onslaught of a dreadful new plague--that of human immortality. Magary possesses an explosive imagination and let loose in The Postmortal, he creates an alternate history of the near future that feels real and is probably inevitable. Read The Postmortal if you want to find out what happened to the human race in our last violent and absurd few years in New York."
Evan Wright, author of Generation Kill

"As someone who is totally freaked out by the thought of dying, The Postmortal really stood on top of me and peed on my face. It's depiction of the future isn't filled with crappy robots fighting Will Smith. It's filled with eerily realistic portrayals of what the future could look like and does it all in an incredibly entertaining story."
Justin Halpern, author of Sh*t My Dad Says

"The first novel from a popular sports blogger and humorist puts a darkly comic spin on a science fiction premise and hits the sweet spot between Margaret Atwood and Kurt Vonnegut. . . . [Magary] understands that satire is most effective when it gives the real world a gently absurd nudge, then lets its characters react much as we ourselves might under the same circumstances."
Ron Hogan, Shelf Awareness

Praise for Drew Magary’s MEN WITH BALLS

"Men with Balls is funny, completely uninformative, and horrifyingly profane. In short: the perfect book."
Michael Schur, Co-Executive Producer of The Office

"Profane, beyond naughty, and, I have to say, just damn funny."
Buzz Bissinger, author of Friday Night Lights

"One of the funniest books I've ever read--the product of a meticulously demented mind. Required reading for anyone who loves sports, and any athlete who knows how to read."
Will Leitch, founder of Deadspin

"I hope to one day write a book that is even comparable to Men with Balls. It is definitely a must-read."
Chris Cooley, Pro Bowl tight end, Washington Redskins

"Drew Magary possesses a keen insight into pro sports' unyielding loads of crap. Men with Balls oozes with, well, balls."
Jeff Pearlman, author of Sweetness

"Extremely funny. And I'm not just saying that because Drew gives me free mustache rides every Thursday."
Jay Chandrasekhar, cowriter and director of Super Troopers and Club Dread

"Men with Balls is a terrifyingly astute takedown of pro sports masquerading as brilliant satire."
Stefan Fatsis, author of A Few Seconds of Panic and Word Freak

Publishers Weekly
Two parents squirm their way into contemporary American adulthood in this hilarious and heartfelt account. Deadspin and GQ columnist Magary (The Postmortal) writes with his usual panache and en-dearing vulgarity on a variety of stories about his nuclear family, but never shies away from a tender moment. Whether he is correcting his children's pizza-making abilities or teaching them the sheer joys of "petty vandalism", Magary and his wife puzzle out the complexities and nuances of parenthood. The volume is bookended by the tale of the youngest son—who requires "disemboweling" due to a rare condition—and the fragility and beauty of life is underscored by the honest and endearing anec-dotes throughout. Realizing that "baby helmets are a rotten lie" even after cracking his daughter's head against a doorframe in a daycare center, Magary gets to the story's core: what is required of these young parents is not an ultra-conservative, over-protective approach, or even one that allows kids to "do as many things on their own as humanly possible." The crux of their care-giving is altruism and providing genuine love, even if that care comes from an individual dressed as "a slow guy", drinking while trick-or-treating with his children: vulgar parenting at its best. (May)
Kirkus Reviews
The pride and pitfalls of contemporary fatherhood. The panic of emergency surgery on a premature baby with a rare intestinal disorder resonates from the riveting first chapter of novelist Magary's (The Postmortal, 2011, etc.) memoir. The scene captures the author's knack for electric prose as he dictates the wild, wooly world of parenthood. Magary doesn't mince words about the many blissfully unencumbered years of marriage before he and his wife had children ("You can live cheaply. You can do drugs. You're mobile, with no goddamn kids anchoring you to one location. You can even get divorced with a minimum of fuss"), freely partaking of spontaneous beach trips and a particular Oasis concert the writer recalls with an acerbic, fork-tongued wit many readers will either love or hate. Potent anecdotes about their first child are laugh-out-loud funny, but when coupled with the descriptive ordeal of a second child by C-section, Magary's life becomes awash in baby monitors, an unfortunate DUI, head lice and toddler conflict resolution. A healthy sense of humor and a modern outlook on life is necessary to "get" much of what irks the author about being a parent in a memoir that shines with refreshing realness. For all his potty-mouthed, free-form commentary, Magary demonstrates a noble belief in love, honor and freeze-framing moments with kids who always seem to grow up way too fast. Missteps and foibles aside, the author admits to being happy and grateful as a family man, "even if it isn't as fun a life as when you were single and drinking shots…in the Giants Stadium parking lot." An outspoken dad's brassy, wise and painfully honest view from the top of the family tree.

Product Details

ISBN-13:
9781592408764
Publisher:
Penguin Publishing Group
Publication date:
05/06/2014
Pages:
256
Sales rank:
269,407
Product dimensions:
5.20(w) x 7.80(h) x 0.80(d)
Age Range:
18 Years

What People are saying about this

From the Publisher
“It’s an honest and hilarious portrayal of how aggravating it can be to raise a family.”  —Justin Halpern, author of the New York Times bestseller Sh*t My Dad Says

“The world needs Drew Magary’s wonderfully funny, breathtakingly honest book about parenting.”
—Jen Doll, memoirist and senior writer at The Atlantic Wire

“The Father's Day book for dads who hate getting books for Father’s Day.”
—Will Leitch, author of Are We Winning? and God Save the Fan

“If you are a parent, I challenge you to not simultaneously laugh and sob through this entire book.”
—Rachel Dratch, comedian and author of Girl Walks into a Bar...

Meet the Author

Drew Magary is a correspondent for GQ and a columnist for Deadspin and Gawker. He’s also the author of the upcoming novel The Hike, the critically acclaimed novel The Postmortal, and Men with Balls: The Professional Athlete’s Handbook. He lives in Maryland with his wife and three kids.

Customer Reviews

Average Review:

Write a Review

and post it to your social network

     

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

See all customer reviews >

Someone Could Get Hurt: A Memoir of Twenty-First-Century Parenthood 4.1 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 16 reviews.
Heather_Wietz More than 1 year ago
This is a great book about being a parent in modern America. The stories range from laugh out loud funny to serious, and all are well worth reading. A five star book.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Parents Buy This! This is a frank look at one man's account of raising children. Anyone who is a parent will laugh out loud at his stories. 
Anonymous 27 days ago
Dggghgggggkkkl
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Great book. So funny and totally relatable.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
As a 30-something dad of two children, I thought this would be an interesting read. Truthfully, the title and cover art caught my eye while I was browsing, and so I bought the book. I was a little familiar with Drew Magary from Deadspin and Esquire, so this wasn't a completely blind buy. Overall, the book was enjoyable and many of the stories relatable. Magary's trademark writing style is on full display and he doesn't disappoint. He is vulgar at times, and mostly his exclamations were well placed, but there were times when I thought his language was too much. This isn't a huge distraction from the pieces, but some of the stories would have read better without them. What I liked best about Magary's book is that these stories don't hold any punches; there is no "rainbows and lollipops" mindset and Magary is honest about his own shortcomings and the challenges of parenting. Also, as a thirtysomething dad, I could relate to Drew's frustration with the "bumbling dad" stereotype and that 21st century parenting is tough because it feels like someone is always watching you, and it's harder to be a good parent rather than the parent everyone else thinks you should be. As far as the individual stories go, "Faka" made me laugh the most (we should all be able to relate in some way), and we've all had to deal with peeing in the pool, and I could definitely relate to the challenge of parenting your child when your parents are around. Magary's best pieces are the first and the last story which are both about his third child who was born a preemie with a life-threatening birth defect. These stories stick with you because Magary does a wonderful job relating the emotions that he and his wife were dealing with throughout their ordeal. I found myself on the verge of tears at several points (not just when he's talking about his own children, but also when he discusses other babies and their parents in the NICU). This honest retelling of his experience reinforced the value of life and how grateful I am for my own children. Without these two pieces, this book is a 3-star book; however, these give the book some heft beyond the lighter comedic tales and make it a 4-star work.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I read this book while I was nursing, and laughed so hard the baby had to look up to see what was going on. There are very poignant bits, but mostly it is about how crazy kids and parents are.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A fun and honest book about parenting... lots of situations I could relate to personally.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Some of the early parenting stories are pretty damn funny, laugh out loud on the bus like an insane person funny. But after awhile it became a little boring reading about the author letting his kids walk all over him while he cries. And while the closing story is a nightmare no one should have to live through, kind of a buzz kill for the closer. Always leave em laughing.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
The Magary book I was waiting for.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Sighs
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Go to DeadSpin and read the HATE this author writes about a Sports team and their fan-base. I will NEVER take advice from a man who goes into such detail about his passion of hate for a town and people he's never met! He's a liar in this book, he just wants your money. His true colors show during his newest blog, "Why Your Cardinals Suck".