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Where Do I Go from Here?: Going from Darkness to Living in God's Marvelous Light

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In my early years of life, I grew up in an abusive home. My father was a good man to me when he was not drunk, but when he got drunk he would become someone else. I will describe him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He did not abuse me but he abused my mother numerous times. My mother finally decided to leave him and she took my youngest brother, sister and I and we all moved to Miami, Florida in 1973. I did not understand at the time why she made the move but as I got older, I understood. Many things happened in my ...
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Where Do I Go From Here?: Going From Darkness to Living in God's Marvelous Light

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In my early years of life, I grew up in an abusive home. My father was a good man to me when he was not drunk, but when he got drunk he would become someone else. I will describe him as Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. He did not abuse me but he abused my mother numerous times. My mother finally decided to leave him and she took my youngest brother, sister and I and we all moved to Miami, Florida in 1973. I did not understand at the time why she made the move but as I got older, I understood. Many things happened in my family during our life here in Miami. As I got older, I began to seek God for answers to many of my questions about why bad things happened to my family. It was many years later when I saw my father again, but he was a different man. I knew he was different - not because of something he did but because of something that was allowed to happen to him.
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Product Details

  • ISBN-13: 9781477298787
  • Publisher: AuthorHouse
  • Publication date: 3/22/2013
  • Pages: 150
  • Product dimensions: 6.00 (w) x 9.00 (h) x 0.35 (d)

Read an Excerpt

Where Do I Go From Here?

Going From Darkness to Living in God's Marvelous Light

By Rita Blessings


Copyright © 2013Rita Blessings
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4772-9878-7



Feeling Rejected and Abandoned

I grew up in a dysfunctional family (a term that someone came up with to describe a non-functional family) with an abusive father that was also an alcoholic. I believe that caused me to feel rejected, damaged and many other things that did not help me mature but instead stay immature for many years. We did not have the usual family support system, a system that will support you no matter what. I think because of the times we lived in my family did not know how to show any type of emotion at all except anger.

My mother's mother had her favorite which was one grandson from each of her children. She did not seem to care for my family because of my abusive father. I can understand that but we, her grandchildren, had nothing to do with how our father was and what he did. Over the years before my grandmother passed I would send or do things for her, sometimes I thought she appreciated what I did and sometime I thought she did not care.

I know from my experiences that when you do not have the support of your parents or grandparents you feel like you are missing a part of yourself. You cannot began to live life right until you get healed from the rejection and the abandonment that you feel you went through as a young child or young adult. I have never gone to a counselor or psychologist with my problems but I have gone to a family member. Only years later did I find out I should have gone to an outsider because of my business being told within the family. God Himself set me free from all the issues that I was going through for many, many years.

Have you felt unloved? As a young girl I was called blackly, big eyes and other mean names. These words came from family and others. So, as I was growing up, I started believing those things that I was called many years ago. I really believe that is when I began to feel abandoned, rejected, unloved, unwanted and many other things that were not positive. I felt unloved by my family members and then I started feeling like an outcast.

When part of my family moved to Florida I would still hear some of the negative things about my looks again. I did not love myself, and sadly I did not realize until years later that I was beautiful because God created me that way. Growing up in the 60s and 70s people did not sit you down and tell you that you are beautiful. As I was growing up through the 60s and 70s I rarely heard anyone telling young girls or myself that they we were beautiful and are loved. So, we began to dislike ourselves and accept what others said about us.

I am asking a favor of all mothers or fathers that read this book, please show your children that you love them, let them see you love each other. Please tell your daughters they are beautiful—tell them they are queens. As you show and teach them that they are loved and they are beautiful they are growing up with self confidence and no one can take that away from them.

No man or woman can come up to your daughters and use a line like this "Oh, I have never seen anyone as beautiful as you in my life!" When they are approached with that sorry line, she can tell the person, "I know I am beautiful because my parents told me I am!", and have the confidence to just walk away. When a young girl feels that she is not beautiful or loved she runs with this type of line and gets caught into relationships that she really should not be in. As a girl grows up she needs to feel loved. Parents or guardians please instill within your girls that they are queens because God created them that way.

Please tell your sons that they are handsome and that they are kings. Remember boys need to be loved as well; they need to be taught to stand as young men and not fall for anything. Parents or guardians I encourage you to show your boys that they can go after anything that their hearts desire whether it has to do with sports, the corporate world, or education. Encourage your boys to read and accomplish great things in their life.

Many years later after really receiving Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior, I realized that I would give things to my family because I felt I if I did not they would get mad and not love me. I used to give up many of my things to my family because I thought that would make them love me more. I would do things for family members that they should have done for themselves just to get their attention. I learned that no matter what you do or give to people it will not make them care for you any more or less. In reality, nothing you do will make anyone love you. I believe now that you have to love yourself and God will do the rest.

When a child grows up with a spirit of rejection and abandonment, that child often turns out to be an adult that feels unloved and never seems to understand why they never seem to fit in with everyone else. However, when you have God on your side, you will have a peace about not fitting in with everyone. As we select friends our friends seem to have the same kind of issues we have and until one of you get some deliverance. Some of your issues could be fear, low self esteem, rejected, feeling unworthy of living and some other type of issue. You will be living through your issues along until you open up for God to bring you out. When you submit to God and let him direct your life you will have His peace to deal with any hardship or anything that come your way. When a person grows up and feels rejected it allowed you to meet some people that had the same rejection and uncaring spirit.

Growing up with a spirit of rejection you tend to become very intimidated, and you draw those same spirits around you. People usually can and will walk all over you. You can never speak up for yourself and the sad part is no one else will speak up for you as well. You have been dragged, walk on, talked about and laughed at. This is all because of you not knowing that the people you tried to put and keep in your little world were not who God wanted you to keep in your life. Some people that God allowed to come in your life were sent just for a season.

Your self-esteem will be low or none at all. The relationships that you get or have been involved with have been terrible. You will believe that you deserve all the hell you are going through, not knowing life should be better for you.

The phrase "opposites attract" is true, but the reality of this phrase I believe is for people in the secular world not for Christians. The Bible says that the Holy Spirit allows other Christian in our life to help us become the person that God has created us to become.

Feeling unloved or abandoned causes you to walk through life on a merry-go-round. You go around and around doing and accepting the same things you have dealt with year-after-year. You keep everything inside or you go to the wrong person for help. I know that to be true because I did it for many years. In your life, things happen and you feel there is no hope and you just give up. When you talked with someone about your situation and you poured your heart out to them, you do not expect them to spread your business, but a man/woman can only be trusted just for a little while if Jesus is not their source. I learned to trust Jesus and write down what I was going through and not to become bitter again. Yes, writing things down does work!

I was going to church on Sunday, Bible Study, Conferences and many other church programs and going back home to some hellish behavior. I am not saying that everyone I talked to told my business, but the majority of them did. I realized that because they were not truly living for Jesus that was who they were. We cannot condemn a person for who they are, we have to pray that Jesus himself will come into them and help them grow. Only Jesus can heal our m

Excerpted from Where Do I Go From Here? by Rita Blessings. Copyright © 2013 by Rita Blessings. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

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Table of Contents


Chapter 1 Feeling Rejected and Abandoned....................     9     

Chapter 2 I was getting tired of being tired of the same old mess..........     23     

Chapter 3 Deliverance in process....................     37     

Chapter 4 When Jesus became my Lord and Savior....................     47     

Chapter 5 The Question to me was how I could love myself...................     59     

Chapter 6 Understanding the 'Whys' of my History....................     71     

Chapter 7 Walking into God's Destiny for my life....................     83     

Chapter 8 I am unique and created this way by God....................     95     

Chapter 9 Dreams delayed but not forgotten....................     107     

Chapter 10 Where do I go from here?....................     119     

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  • Anonymous

    Posted October 17, 2013

    I am so happy that I decided to order this book. I was going thr

    I am so happy that I decided to order this book. I was going through some personal things and I was looking for some guidance without
     involving others and ran across "Where do I go from here?" and I glad that I did. The writer speaks about her own personal life and in
    doing so, she gives you a better understanding on how to deal with whatever you are going through in your life's journey. I truly believe
    everyone that reads this book will be truly blessed from the insight they will receive. May God bless the author!

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