10 Books Non-Geek Parents of Geeks Need to Read

Stranger in a Strange Land, by Robert Heinlein
Heinlein’s influential sci-fi novel isn’t for everyone, but in it he captures the unique combination of brilliance, superiority, terror, and loneliness that defines many geeky folks’ early life experiences. The story of a human raised on Mars by Martians who returns to Earth as the ultimate outsider, it explores that painful outsider status in a way that resonates with many smart kids, while introducing a ton of concepts (and fun words like grok) that have become foundational in geek culture.

A Brief History of Time, by Stephen Hawking and Astrophysics for People in a Hurry, by Neil deGrasse Tyson
Maybe a better place to start is with some foundational scientific concepts. If your kid is getting into the sci-fi, they’re probably also getting into the science behind it—so having at least a glancing acquaintance with the field will help you keep up. Hawking and Tyson both wrote their books with the non-scientist in mind, but these works aren’t dumbed-down. Instead, they present incredibly advanced concepts in a jargon-free, but intelligent manner.

Gödel, Escher, Bach, by Douglas Hofstadter
One of the fundamental aspects of the geek mindset is curiosity—not about one specific thing, but about everything. Thoughts can jump alarmingly quickly as connections are made, which can sometimes make conversations a little tricky. Hofstadter’s famous book is like a deep-dive into the geekiest brain ever; just following the ebb and flow of his thoughts, and his brilliant wordplay, logic games, and intellectual experiments will be fascinating and delightful even if you don’t quite get all of them. Don’t worry—most people fail to “get” something in this book. It’s a lot to take in, but even making the attempt will put you on the right wavelength.

Neuromancer, by William Gibson
Another sci-fi classic that offers clues to the cyberpunk and programming subculture that your geeky kid is somehow magically well-versed in. Although dated, Gibson’s novel established so many of the tropes that reign in modern-day sci-fi, it’s essential reading for anyone who wants to understand the thrill of hacking together your first app—or simply hijacking the neighbors’ Netflix password.

Snow Crash, by Neal Stephenson
Another writer who “gets” the geek subculture. Neal Stephenson’s classic novel not only offers up some (again, slightly dated) examples of the geek approach to life, but also gets into the headspace of people who want answers and aren’t waiting patiently for someone to deliver them. As you read, you’ll run into a bunch of terms and concepts (like the concept of an avatar) that are common today—and then you’ll realize Stephenson coined them decades ago.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to The Galaxy, by Douglas Adams
If you want to get your geek’s sense of humor, start here, with the geekiest of comedy sci-fi novels. Adams himself was pretty geeky, a lover of gadgets and technology and an early adopter of the personal computer, and his humor runs the gamut from obscure technologies to philosophical puzzles with hilariously unconventional solutions.

Extra Lives: Why Video Games Matter, by Tom Bissell
Geeks love games. Well, most people love video games to some extent, but the geeks of the world own the gaming space, so understanding the thrill of video games (if you don’t already) is essential to being able to understand your kids. Bissell’s approach is readable but thorough, seeking to cut through the surface concepts of games simply being mindless entertainment and the crazier theories about games inspiring violence and sociopathic behavior, concentrating on what video games mean for mental and emotional development—and how it’s probably not a bad thing to let your kids enjoy the heck out of these entertainments. Video games, after all, are complex, vibrant imaginary worlds that can teach kids to use their wits, to love solving puzzles, and to deal with uncomfortable situations in a safe way.

Playing at the World, by Jon Peterson and Empire of Imagination, by Michael Witwer
Role playing games (RPGs) are often misunderstood—and considered the geekiest of geek pursuits. While RPGs are cracking the mainstream as more and more people discover the intense, deep-dive pleasures of total immersion in a fictional universe, they’re still difficult to understand for the non-geeks of the world. These two books will help illuminate what makes RPGs so fun, getting into the history, the mechanisms, and the basics of a good RPG experience. Read them, and you’ll understand better the next time your kid references a “saving throw” or a 20-sided die.