15 Signs You Love Books More Than People

Books have a central place in the heart of any rabid reader. But have you moved from devotee to don’t-you-dare-look-at-my-book-or-I-will-cut-you territory? Then you, my friend, may love books more than people. Hey, no judgment here. People can be messy, crazy fools. Books make wonderful sense, and they always love you back. But joining the Books Before People Club isn’t for casual bookworms. Find out if you’re hardcore enough to run with the big books here. If you’ve caught yourself doing any of the things below, wave your bookmark in the air like you just don’t care and join the club. Book nerds unite!
1. You have not chosen a location where you’d meet your family in the event of an emergency, but you do have an “In Case of Fire” box of favorite books you’re ready to grab and run with if needed.
2. You have a “five-minute rule” before bed. The rule is not that you get five minutes of reading before you go to sleep, the rule is the person you share the bed with is only allowed to to you talk for five minutes before you start reading for as long as you dang please.
3. You have disowned a friend upon learning he or she prefers the Harry Potter movies to the books. Finding out a potential mate doesn’t like fiction at all? Obviously a dealbreaker.
4. You have been known to long-term borrow (a.k.a. steal) hard to find, out of print books from friends and family. You’re the only one who knows how to care for your preciouses, right?
5. At parties, you’ve been known to ask, “So…where do you keep your books?” and silently judge others when you discover they don’t own many real-life books.
6. Your Instagram feed is filled with shelfies, not selfies. And definitely no kids allowed. You want to look at your book porn in peace.
7. You carry a book with you EVERYWHERE you go, security-blanket style. It just makes you feel better to have books around, even if there’s no possible chance you will be able to read them.
8. You have vivid fantasies about building a library in your house. The well-oiled wood. The ladders that glide along the walls. The fireplace. The many, many books. Oh, the books! Decorating a nursery? Meh. (Unless the theme is Alice in Wonderland or The Chronicles of Narnia…so many possibilities!)
9. For you, the sexy librarian fantasy is all about the books (doesn’t everyone get hot and bothered thinking about books?) and not the actual person, regardless of how cute their sweater set and glasses are.
10. You catch yourself narrating your day in the voice of your favorite author, including adding speaker tags to all the blah blah coming out of your friend’s mouth.
11. When you’re facing an impossible situation, you think, “What would Katniss do?”
12. Eating in the lunchroom? No, thanks. You’ll take a good 30 minutes alone with your book in the car over snarky office chat any day.
13. When someone gifts you with a new book, you’re happy, but have trouble making eye contact. Your brain is too busy ogling the cover. MUST. LOOK. MORE. SO. BEAUTIFUL.
14. The books on your shelves are color coded in alphabetical order with Dewey decimal notations recorded in your computer. But do you know the names of all your cousins? Probably not.
15. You’re thinking about whether to send this list to a friend, but might just go read a book instead.
Where do you fall on the books vs. people scale?