17 Books for the Newlywed’s Bookshelf

Are we arguing too much? Where is that wagon wheel coffee table going? What are we going to do about the in-laws? It’s common to have a lot of questions in the first year of marriage. This illustrated instruction manual is filled with answers and—yes!—diagrams. Think of it as your own personal troubleshooting guide to matrimony. Need some urgent advice? Jump to the chapter on trust and communication!

This book from the host of On Being asks what it means to be human and who we are when we’re our best selves. And if we are ever to be successful, we must bring our best selves to marriage! This is required reading for husbands, wives, and anyone who wants to live their lives with curiosity, joy, and deep authenticity.

As tempting as it may be to enter marriage with a plan to improve your better half, it’s probably wiser to start by changing yourself. This classic book urges readers to make four essential agreements with themselves: Be impeccable with your word. Don’t take anything personally. Don’t make assumptions. Always do your best. This is definitely the recipe to a happy marriage, or even a well-lived life.

Sharing a vocabulary of pet names, inside jokes, and quirky life theories is one of the pleasures of being in a long-term relationship. Take this idea to the next level by sharing the language of Brené Brown, who wisely counsels readers to live a more compassionate, intentional, wholehearted life. Read this with your new husband or wife, and you’re sure to refer back to it in arguments and makeups.

There’s something about knowing you’ll be sharing a dinner table with someone for the rest of your life that makes you feel a little more spiritual and inclined to pray for your loved ones. The ever-essential Anne Lamott addresses three types of prayers: asking for helping, giving thanks, and the feeling of awe we may find ourselves longing for at the end of the day, even if we don’t know the traditional verses. Use this book to elevate your meals and lift your spirits.

One of the consequences of being married is appreciating how blissfully efficient things were when you were single. Of course, you would never trade to get those days back, but if you’re looking for strategies that will help you and your spouse align your goals on everything from what to have for dinner to how to raise your kids, this book is filled with business, sports, and military techniques, along with scientifically supported advice that will make your family run smoothly and feel authentic to who you are as a couple.

With over 11 million copies sold, they might start handing out this book with marriage certificates. If you haven’t received your copy yet, seek it out. This simple book is based on the powerful idea that we can learn to show our loved ones that we love them in ways that will actually make them feel loved, not just in the ways we think or hope will make them feel loved. Being able to articulate what makes you feel loved and knowing how to show your beloved how much you treasure them? That’s pretty much the key to wedded bliss.

As a minister, a widow, and a wife, Kate Braestrup brings an honest voice to the ups and downs of the ties that bind us together. With advice on how to mend a relationship after a fight, what it really means to share your life with someone, and how we can honor our commitment “for better or for worse,” this is a book you’ll want to read aloud to each other.

Marriage is more than a commitment of the heart, it’s a financial partnership. As you spend long hours daydreaming about what you’ll name your kids and how you want to stay in love as you travel the world, take time to also talk about what retirement will look like for your family. This book is sure to have you dreaming big and feeling more confident about your plans for the future.

This classic story has something for everyone, including romantics, adventure seekers, and nostalgic adults, which means it’s perfect to read with your honey after a long day at the office. Escape into this fantasy, then role play with Westley’s classic “As you wish,” line. You know what they say: The couple that quests together, stays together.

One of the trickiest parts of living with someone is trying to coordinate meals. And when two picky eaters marry each other? Bless them! That’s asking for heartache. But this handy book offers loads of solutions and encourages couples to lay down the knives. It’s filled with recipes for grownups, kids, and grownups who are as picky as kids (no judgments here). Each dish starts with a base meal that can be added to and deconstructed to meet everyone’s tastes, allergies, and food restrictions. Basically it’s a culinary way of saying, “I like you just very much, just as you are.”

If there’s one secret to marriage, it’s communication. Any happy couple will tell you that, and they’re right. So why not learn the art of communication from a true zen master? This practical guide offers clear steps you can take to listen mindfully and express what you’re really feeling, whether you’re angry about socks in the living room or insecure about a late night at the office.

There will be moments when you look at your better half and feel like your heart is bursting with love. When words fail to describe how very important this person is to you, turn to the masters. Pablo Neruda’s sensual love poems still feel modern and romantic today. And if words of affection is your betrothed’s love language, you will definitely want to have this book on hand.

Before we can vow to love each other completely, we need to understand how we love (and hurt) each other. Use this book to explore attachment theory and your own “intimacy blueprint,” so you can develop a marriage that will last. Understand how your personal history influences your mate, discover how to unlock painful patterns, and find a way forward that works for both of you. This book will give you the tools you need to divorce-proof your love affair.

When a cookbook guides you through the process, sharing a homemade meal with your family can feel splendidly grownup. Cooking can also be a lovely way to spend quality time together. Set yourself up for success (and minimize the spilled milk) with over 130 recipes, including decadent pancakes and pastas, that are expertly chosen to encourage domestic bliss. Soon you’ll be dancing through farmer’s markets and nuzzling in the kitchen together.

Based on the same concept as the popular StrengthsFinder book, which encourages readers to spend more time leaning into what makes you amazing and less time worrying about improving areas of weakness, this guide provides helpful tips and a reassuring boost to any marriage. As with any tool that cultivates self-awareness, you’ll come away with a deeper understanding of how your relationship works and how to make it as rich as possible. The authors also walk you through the 5 Ts of marriage. (That’s tone, time, trust, truth, and teamwork for newlyweds.)

Imagine celebrating your golden anniversary, not just with a party or a dinner with your sweetheart, but by reading letters you wrote to each other as newlyweds. Capture the excitement and passion of this moment with this beautiful keepsake. Twelve prompts encourage you to reveal your heart in love letters you’ll treasure forever. Write one every year on your anniversary, or just whenever the mood strikes, then tuck them away for safekeeping, and swoon when, years later, you open each envelope—together.