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6 Books That Will Ruin Your Childhood Memories
Unless you spent your childhood living in a cupboard under the stairs or being prepared for ritual sacrifice by your cult pseudo-family, you probably have fond memories of the stories you enjoyed as a kid. Whether TV shows or fairy tales, as kids we often don’t notice the dark implications of our childhood favorites, which is probably a healthy way to approach the dark implications of childhood in general. But then you grow up. And sometimes when you grow up, you become a writer, and you decide to turn the dark sides of those TV shows and fairy tales into something much, much darker, ruining your own childhood memories, and everyone else’s. These six books turn comforting, innocent entertainments into something subversive and disturbing…and we love them for it.
Meddling Kids, by Edgar Cantero
Most of us have fond memories of the gang from Scooby Doo, the original meddling kids, forever foiling the overly complex schemes of criminals in abandoned amusement parks everywhere. In his forthcoming novel, Cantero isn’t writing literally about Shaggy and Scooby and the rest, but the Blyton Summer Detective Club is clearly modeled on the Scooby gang. In 1990, thirteen years after disbanding in the wake of the case of the Sleepy Lake monster, things are looking grim for the former teen detectives. Some are dead, some are wanted criminals, others are missing. The survivors become convinced their misery is connected to that final case, and they return to Sleepy Lake to face it—and bring unimaginable, Lovecraftian horrors floating to the surface. If you loved those old cartoons more than Scooby Snacks, this book will make you wonder what in the world Shaggy could possibly do to support himself in the real world, and you’ll flinch every time they rip a Halloween mask off of some criminal mastermind.
Wicked, by Gregory Maguire
While there is a lot of implied violence in L. Frank Baum’s original Oz stories (children were hardier back in the day; men chopping off their own body parts and replacing them with tin and dropping houses on women was pretty mild for a children’s book in the early 20th century), Maguire really goes all-in on unleashing hell. There’s rape, torture, racism, and the transformation of the Wizard of Oz from kindly-if-misguided con artist to evil tyrant who overthrew the legitimate government of Oz. He is also likely the rapist father of Elphaba, the eventual Wicked Witch of the West. If you like to pop on the film version of The Wizard of Oz and relive happy memories, treat this one with care.
Red as Blood, by Tanith Lee
Take basically every fairy tale you ever enjoyed or found comfort in, walk them through the dark, overheated imagination of Tanith Lee, and out pop the stories collected here. From a Sleeping Beauty who’s actually a vampire, to Jesus Christ as the Pied Piper (various religions contribute themes to most of these stories), Lee manages to twist every one of these tales in ways that will prevent you from ever simply enjoying them again—you’ll have to think about all that they elide or merely imply. Not all of these reimaginings are dark or violent or even particularly fantastic, but they’re all mature, thoughtful subversions of the foundational stories of our childhoods. Read them at your peril.
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Death Star, by Michael Reaves
On the one hand, Death Star is just part of the Star Wars expanded universe, telling a story that offers fascinating glimpse inside the Death Star itself. Darth Vader and Grand Moff Tarkin are characters, as are a host of others, who find themselves living on the galaxy’s most dreadful weapon through circumstance. None of that should ruin your fond memories of seeing the original Star Wars as a kid, right? Except, subtly, it does, because it makes you consider the sheer number of people whose fiery deaths you’re cheering when the Death Star explodes at the end of the first film (and the third, and, let’s be honest, the seventh). Part of the charm of Star Wars is its black-and-white morality; Death Star turns it a sickly shade of gray.
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The Sleeping Beauty Trilogy, by Anne Rice
The fact that Anne Rice, whose work isn’t exactly shy and blushing, chose to publish the four novels in the Sleeping Beauty Quartet pseudonymously should tell you just how warped they are. If you ever once enjoyed the innocence of Disney version of Sleeping Beauty (though to be fair, “princess enchanted into sleep and woken by a kiss from a prince” has all kinds of implications to unpack even with the cute cartoon birds in tow), then you will be completely, totally, 100 percent squicked-out by what Rice does to the princess in this reimagining, set in a universe where minor royals are turned into sex slaves and playthings, brutally beaten, raped, and mentally broken. Beauty resists, despite the clear evidence of what that will earn her. By the time you’re done with the first book, the old fairy tale will forever be one of your triggers. Unless you’re into that, which is perfectly ok.
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(Horrifying) Honorable Mention: The Black Company, by Glen Cook
The Black Company doesn’t really play off of any specific other story, but there is one heck of a disturbing thread in it, and it involves The Lady’s mother, wife of Baron Senjak, supposedly the source of the Sleeping Beauty legend. Which means she’s been in a coma most of her life. And yet, she’s birthed four daughters sired by the Baron. I’ll let you work out that one for yourself.