First Date Woes for a Bookworm

Dear Literary Lady,
I’m finding that being a bookworm makes it hard to converse during a first date. I feel awkward because most of my dates want to talk about TV shows, movies, and pop culture, and I’m unfamiliar with a lot of their references. I really don’t want to die alone, but I also can’t have candlelit conversations about Netflix forever. Please help.
–C.L.,
 
Dear C.L.,
First of all, first dates are always awkward, whether you’re a bookworm or not. Even if you’d binge-watched every TV show your date mentioned and read every article your date browsed on Facebook, it would still be awkward.
Second, your dates probably talk about TV shows and pop culture because they’re nervous and it’s a safe topic of conversation. Talking about TV shows on a first date is like talking about the weather with your neighbor. As you get to know each other better, you won’t keep talking about these things. You’ll delve into more substantive discussions—fun stuff like your hopes and dreams, your respective messed-up childhoods, and how much you hate your bosses.
You won’t have to sit through candlelit conversations about Netflix forever, but you might have to wade through a few more to find someone you really like.
In the meantime, here are some dos and don’ts for when your date starts making references that you don’t get:

1. Do tell them you don’t know much about television or pop culture.
2. Don’t say “the book was better” every time they mention a movie.
3. Do tell them you love to read instead of watching TV.
4. If they make a face and ask if you live under a rock, do say, “Thanks for a great evening. I have to go back to my rock, goodbye forever.”
5. Do ask them if they also like to read.
6. Don’t call them a philistine if they haven’t read a book since college.
7. Do ask them why they don’t like to read.
8. Don’t have a judge-y look on your face and don’t tell them you’re going to change them.
9. Do ask what their favorite show is about. Try to steer the conversation toward the subject matter, not the specific show.
10. Do embrace your inner book nerd and talk about why you love to read.
11. Don’t be embarrassed that you’re out of the loop. The loop is overrated.
12. Don’t write someone off on the first date because they have different interests. Having things in common is overrated. Focus on what intrigues you about each other and what you can learn.
13. Do ask them what kind of movies and shows they like, and why.
14. Do tell them what kind of books you like, and why.
15. Don’t describe your book preferences using words like “bildungsroman,” “gothic romanticism,” and “postmodern satire.” Save that for another date.
16. Don’t tell them the entire page-by-page plot of your favorite book. Nobody likes spoilers!
17. Do ask what their favorite movie is so you can watch it sometime. Maybe. Possibly. When you run out of books.
18. Do ask them questions that can apply to books and movies. “What five books/movies would you bring to a deserted island?” “What single book/movie have you read/seen more times than any other?”
19. Do go on a second date if they seem genuinely interested in your interests, even if they don’t share them.

Remember—be confident and be forthcoming about being a bookworm. You just might bring something new and interesting to the table on an otherwise awkward (or boring) first date. And if the date is still a drag, at least you got to talk about books for a bit and didn’t spend two hours saying, “No, sorry, I haven’t seen Breaking Bad.”
Love and paperbacks,
Literary Lady