16 of the Funniest Moments in the Harry Potter Series

Harry Potter and the Sorcerer’s Stone
“It certainly seems so,” said Dumbledore. “We have so much to be thankful for. Would you care for a lemon drop?”
“A what?”
“A lemon drop. They’re a kind of Muggle sweet I’m rather fond of.”
“No, thank you,” said Professor McGonagall coldly, as though she didn’t think this was the moment for lemon drops.
There’s just something about Dumbledore offering McGonagall candy at a completely inappropriate time and her reaction that makes me laugh every time I read this scene.
 
He bent down and pulled his wand out of the troll’s nose. It was covered in what looked like lumpy gray glue.
“Ugh—troll boogers.”
I don’t care how old or mature you are, you definitely giggle to yourself every time you read “troll boogers”.
 

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
“My friendly, card-carrying cupids!” beamed Lockhart. “They will be roving around the school today delivering your valentines! And the fun doesn’t stop here! I’m sure my colleagues will want to enter into the spirit of the occasion! Why not ask Professor Snape to show you how to whip up a Love Potion! And while you’re at it, Professor Flitwick knows more about Entrancing Enchantments than any wizard I’ve ever met, the sly old dog!”
Professor Flitwick buried his face in his hands. Snape was looking as though the first person to ask him for a Love Potion would be force-fed poison.
Just imagine someone asking Snape to make them a love potion. That’s enough comic relief for like a decade.
 
Losing his head, Harry tried to make a run for it, but the dwarf seized him around the knees and brought him crashing to the floor.
“Right,” he said, sitting on Harry’s ankles. “Here is your singing valentine:
His eyes are as green as a fresh pickled toad,
His hair is as dark as a blackboard.
I wish he was mine, he’s really divine,
The hero who conquered the Dark Lord.”
A dwarf dressed as cupid is sitting on top of Harry Potter and singing him a song about his eyes being as green as a pickled toad. Classic.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
“Oh, my dear boy, we’re not going to punish you for a little thing like that!” cried Fudge, waiving his crumpet impatiently. “It was an accident! We don’t send people to Azkaban just for blowing up their aunts!”
Good to know blowing up your aunt isn’t really a punishable offense.
 
A jet of sparks shot from the end of Professor Lupin’s wand and hit the doorknob. The wardrobe burst open. Hook-nosed and menacing, Professor Snape stepped out, his eyes flashing at Neville.
Neville backed away, his wand up, mouthing wordlessly. Snape was bearing down upon him, reaching inside his robes.
“R-r-riddikulus!” squeaked Neville.
There was a noise like a whip crack. Snape stumbled; he was wearing a long, lace-trimmed dress and a towering hat topped with a moth-eaten vulture, and he was swinging a huge crimson handbag.
Is there anything funnier than the image of Snape dressed in drag as Neville’s grandmother? Nope.
 
“Mr. Moony presents his compliments to Professor Snape, and begs him to keep his abnormally large nose out of other people’s business.”
“Mr. Prongs agrees with Mr. Moony, and would like to add that Professor Snape is an ugly git.”
“Mr. Padfoot would like to register his astonishment that an idiot like that ever became a professor.”
“Mr. Wormtail bids Professor Snape good day, and advises him to wash his hair, the slimeball.”
Looks like the Marauders could be awfully catty when they wanted to be.

Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
He held up the envelope in which Mrs. Weasley’s letter had come, and Harry had to fight down a laugh. Every bit of it was covered with stamps except for a square inch on the front, into which Mrs. Weasley had squeezed the Dursley’s address in minute writing.
“She did put enough stamps on, then,” said Harry, trying to sound as though Mrs. Weasley’s was a mistake anyone could make.
I don’t know why the image of a stamp-covered letter always strikes me as hysterical, but I laugh every time I get to this part.
 
“I bought them in a Muggle shop,” said the old wizard stubbornly. “Muggles wear them.”
“Muggle women wear them, Archie, not the men, they wear these,” said the Ministry wizard, and he brandished the pinstripe trousers.
“I’m not putting them on,” said old Archie in indignation. “I like a healthy breeze around my privates.”
The man just likes a healthy breeze around his privates.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!”
“Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired women asked Mad-Eye interestedly.”
I’d like J.K. Rowling to write a spin-off series about the wizard who lost his buttock because of a misplaced wand.
 
“Well?” Ron said finally, looking up at Harry. “How was it?”
Harry considered for a moment.
“Wet,” he said truthfully.
Oh Harry, you have such a way with words. No wonder the girls love you.

Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince
“Oh, there you are Albus,” he said. “You’ve been a very long time. Upset stomach?”
“No, I was merely reading the Muggle magazines,” said Dumbledore. “I do love the knitting patterns.”
Go ahead and find a more adorable Dumbledore moment. I’ll wait.
 
The right-hand window was covered with a gigantic poster, purple like those of the Ministry, but emblazoned with flashing yellow letters:
“Why are you worrying about You-Know-Who? You should be worrying about U-No-Poo—the constipation sensation that’s gripping the nation!”
I know Mrs. Weasley was worried about Voldemort murdering the twins, but honestly that joke was probably worth it.
 
“No,” said Harry confidently. “I’m going to Hagrid’s, I’ve got a good feeling about going to Hagrid’s.”
“You’ve got a good feeling about burying a giant spider?” asked Ron, looking stunned.
“Yeah,” said Harry, pulling his Invisibility Cloak out of his bag, “I feel like it’s the place to be tonight, you know what I mean?”
Admittedly this scene became a lot funnier after Daniel Radcliff’s interpretation of Harry drunk on Felix Felices in the movie version, but there’s still something about Harry’s bizarre nonchalance that makes me laugh.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
The real Harry thought that this might just be the most bizarre thing he had ever seen, and he had seen some extremely odd things. He watched as his six doppelgangers  rummaged in the sacks, pulling out sets of clothes, putting on glasses, stuffing their own things away. He felt like asking them to show a little more respect for his privacy as they all began stripping off with impunity, clearly much more at ease with displaying his body than they would have been with their own.
Poor Harry. Imagine having to watch six copies of yourself stripping naked in your living room for all the world to see.
 
“How do you feel, Georgie?” whispered Mrs. Weasley.
George’s fingers groped for the side of his head.
“Saintlike,” he murmered.
“What’s wrong with him?” croaked Fred, looking terrified. “Is his mind affected?”
“Saintlike,” repeated George, opening his eyes and looking up at his brother. “You see…I’m holy. Holey, Fred, geddit?”
Hands up if you think George secretly allowed his ear to be blown off just for the sake of making that pun.