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Three Cheers for Talk Like a Pirate Day
Blimey! This can’t be happening. It’s September 19, already? Talk Like a Pirate Day? The most important made up holiday since Splorchday is today, and despite the Countdown to TLaPD app on every device within reach… despite the date circled in red on the refrigerator calendar… despite my well-worn, autographed, and personally inscribed copy of The Government Manual for New Pirates… and despite the tattoo on my forehead that reads “Don’t forget: September 19 is Talk Like a Pirate Day” (I have a very wide face), I am caught with me eyepatch askew and my peg leg on the wrong side. Arr! Though the day has ambushed me, mateys, perhaps there be yet time for us to batten down the hatches and find our sea legs.
Ships in 1-2 days.
Tough Boris, by Mem Fox and Kathryn Brown
This is a wonderfully illustrated book that shows pirates can be as mean, tough, and fearless as we expect, but also that we shouldn’t expect that that’s all there is to know about them. I must admit, however, that upon completing this book, I immediately slammed it shut, sealed it in a chest, and buried it in a secret location known only to me (but duly recorded on a map with an X.) Having all too recently lost my pet bird, the finest feathered first mate ever to sail the seas, this tale struck a wee bit too close to me home.
Pirate Pete’s Talk Like a Pirate, by Kim Kennedy and Doug Kennedy
When a job ye be seeking, ’tis best to pay careful attention to that which the interviewer is sayin’. Pirate Pete sails to Rascal Island in search of a pirate crew for his ship. (How he’s managed to weigh anchor, navigate, run sails, and man the crow’s nest without one so far is a real head-and-beardscratcher.) To each applicant he states, “But most of all, ye gots to talk like a pirate!” And one by one, despite having excellent cannon-firing skills and otherwise impressive resumes, each candidate answers Pete’s interview questions in fancy prose. So one by one they walk the plank. Even the most lawless crew of bloodthirsty pirates needs to follow the captain’s instructions, and these rascals prove they just can’t tack the jib.
Shiver Me Letters: A Pirate ABC, by June Sobel and Henry Cole
You think you know all there is to know about pirates, do you? What’s a pirate’s favorite letter, then? R? No, me smarties, it’s the C! Yo-ho-ho-ho! Anyho…here be a sea-faring, rhyming tale about a beleaguered pirate crew ordered to collect letters for their captain. Readers will enjoy searching the seas and sands for the letters, even while the sailors themselves do not.
Roger, the Jolly Pirate, by Brett Helquist
Roger’s mates think he is an inferior pirate: He loves to sing, he doesn’t grimace or strike fear into anyone’s hearts, and he doesn’t know his way around a ship. When it comes time for serious pirating to take place, Roger is sent below deck while the real scallywags pillage and plunder. But Roger knows that the way to win a pirate’s heart is through grub. When he attempts to bake a cake in order to earn his shipmates’ affection, he inadvertently saves the day and alters pirate history from that point forward. All hail Jolly Roger!
Ships in 1-2 days.
The Pirates Next Door, by Jonny Duddle
Do ye know the thing most frightening to a proper pirate, mateys? No, not being followed by sharks, nor onboard manicures, nor the dreaded art of whistling. Aye, these be scary, true, but the thing to strike the most substantial fear into the heart of every pirate be: the suburbs. Me timbers shiver at the very thought. In this tale, the true story of when a family of pirates temporarily moved to Dull-on-Sea, we learn why neighborhoods such as this intimidate even the most bloodthirsty scoundrels. That, you may be sure, and redheads.
Ultimate Sticker Book:Pirate, DK Publishing
And if it be more treasure ye seek, here lies copious amounts of sticker book booty on which to spend your dubloons.