This or Something Better: A Memoir of Resilience

by Elisa Stancil Levine

Overview

When the Sonoma Complex fire came to Elisa Stancil Levine’s California doorstep in 2017, her world changed overnight. The devastating fire torched thousands of acres, but for Elisa, a world-class decorative artist, it was her reaction that night that cracked her wide open. A loving wife, mother, and grandmother, Elisa thought she had reckoned with her early childhood trauma. But when she fled the midnight firestorm without alerting a single neighbor, she had to ask herself: Who does that?

In This or Something Better, Elisa revisits her past and the one force in which she has always found true kinship: the wild river. Nature, her lifelong ally, gave solace. Through teen pregnancy, her baby’s stillbirth, and a mystical near-death experience at eighteen, nature shaped her character, and it later informed her wildly successful career. But was there an unintended consequence?

The fresh trauma of the firestorm sparked a quest: what treasure awaited if Elisa learned to trust human nature? Vivid, poetic, and intimate, This or Something Better reveals how true healing of deep wounds happens one exquisite layer at a time—and invites us each to consider and embrace our own path toward wholeness and authenticity. 

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781647423612
Publisher:	She Writes Press
Publication date:	06/07/2022
Pages:	264
Product dimensions:	5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 1.00(d)

About the Author

Elisa Stancil Levine was born in Northern California and grew up beside the American River, the site of the California gold rush. She left high school at sixteen and as a young mother earned an AA degree, remodeled sixteen houses, and wrote for Sacramento Magazine. Her successful decorative art company, Stancil Studios, has won numerous awards and is now owned by her son, James. Elisa and her husband spend hours immersed in nature on Sonoma Mountain, hiking, horseback riding, and running in the forest. This or Something Better is her second book. She lives in Sonoma, CA.

Table of Contents

1 Firestorm, Sonoma Mountain, 2017 1

2 Where We Used to Go 9

3 Unearned Shame 16

4 Even So, Present Day 21

5 Fear Not 26

6 Proving Ground, Placerville 32

7 The River 42

8 Grandpa Again 50

9 How to Be Human 54

10 A Spirit Door 59

11 Unintended Consequences 65

12 Subterranean 71

13 Trying to Make It Real 80

14 Wishing and Hoping 87

15 Kenny Kenny Kenny, Seattle 91

16 The Unknowable 95

17 Alchemy 102

18 Out of the Echoing Emptiness 107

19 Hallelujah Chorus 112

20 Together Forever 117

21 Making it Work 123

22 Rescue Me 131

23 Sacramento 139

24 Pollyanna 147

25 Fragile Interconnections 152

26 Losing 159

27 This or Something Better 167

28 Sun and Shadow 173

29 Redemption, Sonoma 177

30 Kismet 182

31 Diamonds and Rust 188

32 Listening 193

33 Into It 199

34 Coming Undone and Becoming 206

35 Seeking Belonging 211

36 Roses All Around 218

37 Together 226

38 Just Plain True 231

39 Gather Round the Roses 237

40 Glen Ellen, 2009-Present 241

Acknowledgments and Gratitude 246

About the Author 247

Editorial Reviews

This riveting story of the ‘making of a maker’ is more than a memoir, it is a testament to nature’s role in creativity. The author’s persistence and intuitive spirit come through in every chapter, inviting readers to embrace their own path toward wholeness and authenticity. Moving, illuminating and inspiring.” 
—Heidi Gerpheide, publisher of California Homes Magazine

“Levine’s story of resilience is framed by an account of a fire in California that threatened her home, her horses, and human life. . . . Her prose dazzles. . . . Driven by new experiences and personal revelations, the fascinating, creative memoir This or Something Better is a story about remaking a life.”
—Foreword Reviews

“In this beautifully written memoir, Elisa Stancil Levine takes the reader on a wild ride through her extraordinary life journey. Through it all she explores the combination of surrender and decisive action, trust and wariness, solitude and human connection, intuition and painstaking self-inquiry, and grace and sheer hard labor that lie at the heart of the great mystery of human resilience.” 
—Noelle Oxenhandler, author of The Wishing Year

“Elisa Stancil Levine . . . is too much of everything—too loud, too passionate, too smart, too ambitious. Her only solace is her bond with nature. When her trust is violated she takes refuge in nature, yet keeps trying to find the relationships she wants and needs. Elisa’s story is essentially a spiritual quest. Readers will feel confident that she at last discovers what it really means to be human.”  
—Susan Speranza, author of Ice Out and The Tale of Lucia Grandi, the Early Years 

“Elisa Stancil Levine's memoir embarks on a rich journey to earlier times in the rural foothills of California—and sweeps up to date to firsthand accounts of wildfire and drought in today’s Sonoma County. Her stories of growing up in a world full of both wonder and danger are unique—told with frank detail, coming to conclusions about curiosities she encounters with both balance and generosity. She fills every page with beauty and learning.” 
—Rebecca Lawton, author of Swimming Grand Canyon and Other Poems

From the Publisher