A is for Edelweiss

Jerald Eugene Noran could never understand why it took two different consonants to make the same sound in his first and second names. Or why his middle name didn't start with the letter U. Or why piano chords are written vertically and piano keyboards are oriented horizontally (but that's another story). This abecedarium is the result of decades of writing couplets, tercets, quatrains and sestains on tiny scraps of paper, regarding the inconsistencies of spelling and pronunciation in the En...