A Search for Exotic Higgs Decays: Or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Long-Lived Particles

The absence of new physics at the TeV scale observed thus far at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) motivates an increasing focus on searches for weakly-coupled new particles and exotic signatures. In particular, particles with macroscopic mean proper lifetimes, known as long-lived particles (LLPs), are of significant interest due to their ability to elude the majority of searches which rely on the assumption that Beyond Standard Model particles decay close to the primary interaction point. Ma...