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Afterthoughts: or Some Pistachios Won't Open - Wisdom for the Unreflective

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Richard Ayoade has set down his most enormous thoughts for the benefit of all those who dare read them. Thoughts like . . .

TV detectives need a gimmick. Mine would be not caring who did it.

If, when one door shuts, another door opens, there's something wrong with your doors. They shouldn't be doing that.

Where's the box to tick if you ARE a robot?

My mother used to say Manners Maketh the Man, but I didn't think it was very mannerly of her to make fun of my lisp.

Plato, Aristotle, Montaigne. M...