An Old-Fashioned Christmas

Nothing captures the magic of Christmas like the drooling face of a child and a cheap-ass little fake tree." --An Old-Fashioned Christmas

In the tradition of Holidays on Ice and Bad Santa, Patrick Regan counters saccharine seasonal sentiment with a dose of holiday-noir.

Remember Christmases of old? Simpler times, when four-year-old orphans were used for market research and Santa could call a pretty elf "Sweet Cheeks" and not get slapped with a sexual harassment suit?

In An Old-Fashioned Christ...