|Product dimensions:||6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.20(d)|
Read an Excerpt
AN OPINIONATED WALK
By Eddy Guerrier
AuthorHouseCopyright © 2012 Eddy Guerrier
All right reserved.
Chapter OneGOT YOU!
I knew once I put that title on the book's cover, I was going to catch your eye.
My intention is a very clear: I will give an honest and personal opinion of a man—Bill O'Reilly—who has spent several years trying to turn you into what he calls "patriots" instead of "pinheads." This task in my view is not that easy, having lived with you a few years.
Of course, I'm not an American citizen, but Bill (if he does not find using his first name too familiar) became not only a must on my bedroom TV but also a guide for my way of thinking.
When I graduated from Hamilton College in 1976, I told my assistants that the American people were a duplication of John Wayne and his like. Why? Because that was the way you were portrayed in the movies then. It was a time when it was safe to sit in a movie theater without having to worry about being robbed or solicited by a stranger or a prostitute. Fortunately, I concluded my speech by saying that you Americans are only humans. And I also told them to smile because they were on Candid Camera. The camera is still on, but the American people are no longer willing to smile. They've become giants with clay feet. Fortunately, there people looking after them.
The media has become an "untruth word" because of certain journalists who are more worried about pushing their political agenda instead of being unbiased.
My boss is about six feet four inches, and he is not an easy man to get along with if you are an ass kisser. I grew to respect and admire him, even if sometimes I want to kill him. I can tell you that he is a "stand-up guy." Ho! Where did I get that phrase?
William James O'Reilly Jr. has been called quite a few names and adjectives. Let me give samples.
– Blubbering vagina
– Religious zealot
– Sexual harasser
To name a few—
These should catch the attention of any sane person who watches television, who is interested in the American mind, and who is not an American citizen.
Why so much negativity on a TV host—enough to kill him?
If curiosity kills the cat, then I'm guilty.
BILL ON BILL
When you are a tall person you tend to look down at the people you talk to. This is not a sign of "I'm better than you," it is just physical. I'm about five feet five, and believe me, I don't feel inferior. Nature has a way to make human beings different from one another. It is your duty, throughout your own life, to determine whether you are small or big.
When I listen to Bill, I mostly watch his eyes and his hands. Those two elements help to explain what type of man he is. Sure enough, not everyone will like him. He has so many things in his mind that even with his guests he cannot hide when he feels he is wasting his time. My boss used to tell me, convince me. I will say the same for Bill. You may be a smart person, but if you come unprepared, he will destroy you and make nothing of it, unless you can get your point across with clear, understandable, plain English.
Look at his eyes. They tend to get smaller and smaller when he is trying to see how long it will take you to get to the core of the subject at hand. And then, here comes his rage. You have to be careful when you accept an invitation to be interviewed by him. He studies carefully whether you have a personality of your own or you build one to please him and his viewers. Do not be afraid to look him in the eyes unless, when you are in front of him, you try please an audience you don't know anything about or you try to be an ass kisser to please him.
The man has been doing his show for twelve years and counting. Before that in the remote past he was a teacher.
Bill has big hands. He tends to not move them a lot, but when the worst gets to him, he will not know where to put them—sometimes preferably on your mouth, although, I do consider him to be an educated person with an Irish temper. Yes, he points his finger at you but not against your face like that lady so impolitely did to the president of the United States. Sometimes, he just gives up on the discussion, not because he is pressed for time but just because he cannot tell you to your face that you are a moron, except for poor Barney (the congressman) of course. Without further ado let's get it on.
Bill and His Coworkers
Even though he is himself at all times, I have a premonition that Bill enjoys more working with women, preferably blond, instead of men. Deep down inside I believe that he came to the conclusion that women are smarter than men except for a few exceptions. Bill is not a moderator; he provokes you. He has a way of framing his comments and finishes with questions. For example, he frequently says, "Am I wrong?"
Careful, he already has a specific opinion; however, he engages you in order to see if you can convince him otherwise. I noticed that certain coworkers of his are simply afraid to say, "Yes, you are wrong" and explain to him why. They prefer to be polite. They take what he says, turn it, and put some honey on it to finally express what they really want to say. Many times they don't have sufficient time to get to their own points or they simply shoot themselves in the foot. When this happens, you can see the disappointment on Bill's face, and he just brushes them off. It happens too often with men, especially.
Let's take Colmes: he is definitely a smart man with a lot of democratic ideas. I used to appreciate his debate with Hannity. However, don't ask me how; Bill has a way to get under his skin. Colmes cannot overpower the "beast" and tell him that the sun does not rise only when he says so. When he comes to Bill's show, he is too much on the defensive, and it shows so much that Mr. Bill takes an uncanny pleasure at picking Colmes's brain and confusing him.
I'm under the impression that after every meeting with Bill Colmes realizes how many points he could have made in the short time they allow him as a contributor on Bill's show. Unfortunately, Colmes is by nature a tolerant man who lacks anger. Bill eventually will make him underestimate himself and probably he will quit the show as a contributor, which in itself would be too bad.
What Say You?
When he frames his question that way, look carefully. He lifts up his chin, and his eyes are barely opened: he is listening. He will drink every single word that comes out of your mouth and will slightly tilt his head to the left or to the right, depending on how he is filtering what you are saying. In reality, this question is a trap. He is challenging your intellect not your manner in answering. The way he phrases this and his demeanor make him look condescending. That's what you may think.
In my early years, I used to be afraid of my boss. Nothing was ever right. He always had a comment to make, and usually, I was at a loss for words because I always wanted to get into lengthy explanations when he only wanted a straight answer. One day, I decided to take a picture of him and put it on my mirror. Over several days, when I was in front of the mirror, I looked at the picture and said, "I'm not afraid of you."
It worked. Nowadays, when I walk into his office, I still see him in his grandiosity; however, I see myself as a small, venomous animal. So, if he ever thinks of jumping on me, I will be ready to bite him where he will feel my own power. Now, we have normal conversations even when he gets into his temper tantrums. It's not that he changed. I became accurate and unafraid.
If you are talking to Bill, get straight to the point, because time is of essence. Most of all, you have to earn his respect. Since he has his weapons, don't forget that you have yours too. Your comments have to be straightforward. Since I only know the man through the screen of my television, many times I wonder: of the contributors, how many of them work for him directly and how many do work for the network on which he has his show? I will express my opinion later on a few of them and hope I will not get in trouble because of my opinions.
The "what say you?" makes him look superior and elitist. It is done on purpose; you can interpret this from different ways in answering:
– Don't mess with me.
– I'm no fool.
– Are you prepared?
– Don't disappoint me.
Remember, this is a talk show, not a war in which you are out to get O'Reilly's head to exhibit in other networks. Attack, argue, but remain unshaken; that's what he likes.
Correct Me If I'm Wrong
This is a sincere invitation to further his knowledge on the topic at hand. Based on my personal experience, when anyone has a couple of degrees like a masters of arts in broadcast journalism from Boston University and a masters of public administration from Harvard University, it tells you that diplomas are all a presumption of knowledge, and only practicing your craft makes you better. Anytime Bill engages with an intelligent person, he learns, and you can see it if you follow his show without any prejudice.
The American people are very weird. They want everything to be at their convenience and to their liking. The "pursuit of happiness" is like their forefathers told them: you are an American, therefore you've got it made and there is no need to kill yourself. It is homemade for you. And Lord knows how many hard-working Americans I met in my life. It is my belief that many of them should redefine what pursuit really means.
During the years of watching Bill, it is obvious that not all his shows are very engaging. Sometimes the man has to make all kind of gestures and articulations to entertain you until he bids you goodbye with, "Don't forget that the spin stops right here. All!" Because he has not been corrected, the caliber of the show that night was not up to standard and/or simply there was no spin. Fortunately for the viewers, Bill is his worse critic. Be sure to tune in tomorrow, and you'll see that he was better than the previous show.
If ever you decide to watch his show, follow my advice and don't tune in at eight o'clock Eastern Time. Tune in at seven if you can; it's better. With Shepard Smith you will have time, by watching him, to have a succulent entry to Bill's show or sharpen your knives to better trying to kill him. Trust me; it's a good avant-goût.
Bill on Race
When I was at Hamilton College, there were a few blacks on campus. They had a sort of a fraternity house called the UHURU group. I thought being black myself that I could join them and make friends. To my big surprise I was rejected. When I went to talk to one of them, he explained to me that I was not black enough. I did not quite understand what he was talking about considering my dark complexion. I joined Delta Phi until I graduated from Hamilton and never until now had an Afro-American friend. Therefore, should I qualify myself as a racist or was I rejected because the UHURUs were racist? For me racism is an inferiority complex.
If my daughter were to bring home a guy from Sweden and told me, "Dad, this man is my husband." Good Lord! We would welcome him into the family, would try to communicate with him, and would teach him about us and our culture while trying to learn about his. Somewhere along the way, I guarantee you that I would have said to myself, Why did she have to fall in love with this guy and not one of us? Does that make me a racist? No! It might makes me stupid, too lazy to learn, or anything else but.
Bill is a big tease, and you can call him anything you want. But if ever you attack Mr. Juan William, you are in big trouble with him. Remember when the ex-House speaker responded to a question with a "Juan-n-n-n"? Bill was sincerely disappointed by the speaker and so was I. If you ever bite in any way Mr. Geraldo Riviera, the sky will fall on your head. From time to time, Bill has a black professor from Columbia University coming on his show. The man has a PhD, is very articulate, and sure enough is not afraid of Bill. It is obvious that Bill takes pleasure crisscrossing with that young man. Bill is above and beyond racism, but he cannot stand mediocrity. If it done on purpose or is part of the production setup, he cannot hide his disdain for certain demagogues. The two pastors who he interviews on occasion who are not really his cup of tea.
Racism is a sad state of mind that can make anyone having this disease do terrible things. However, I would advise everybody to think carefully before calling anyone a racist. When you take a man like my boss, there are certain terms he does not like to hear or use. I remember one afternoon I told him jokingly, "I'm your dog man." He did not like it at all. Probably I, more or less, misused the term.
Bill is not a racist, I am certain of that. This having been said, I have a few questions:
– Does Mr. O'Reilly prefer blonds?
– Why do I see so many journalists who used to work for another network now in this network?
– Where is that smart Asian-American he used to have on his show?
– How many brunettes has he working for him?
– What is a poor American as perceived by a conservative American?
PARTICULARS ON BILL'S SHOW
You have to give to Caesar what he deserves.
Where would you have Ms. Ann Coulter with a cross on her neck telling people how Christian she is and if you don't like it, then too bad?
Where would you have a guy like Mr. Dick Morris express his views with his quivering voice without wanting to break his neck?
Where could you sustain Mr. Glenn Beck's views and funny faces without saying that this man is a little nuts?
Where would you have a comedian like Dennis Miller pumping you with some unexplainable comments without wanting to hang him? Bill goes on tour with him!
Ha! Mr. Karl Rove a very smart, well-tuned conservative robot with no sense of humor.
What about Bill himself when he tells Mr. Lou Dobbs that since he is smarter than him to please explain to him why the gas price is climbing up?
Why does Bill have a different tone of voice and body language when engaging with Megyn Kelly, Gretchen Carlson and Margaret Hoover?
I know that I left out a few people, but like I said, I'm giving you personal opinion and remarks. Since Mr. Bill O'Reilly is a fox, if you really want to kill him you better be an eagle with all the natural tools and maybe more, so you can see him coming at a distance. Be certain that in your mind you have a clear definition of the majority and the minority, because I have a funny feeling that many of you are using these words very lightly. By the way, Bill knows some rappers. He is connected.
If you still want to kill him, try to reinvent him before. For me, I'll keep on watching where the spin stops.
THE MALE ENHANCEMENT PILL
Since the discovery of this medication, I've been intrigued by it. The wonder of keeping it up! How wonderful this is! One day, I was having a conversation with a lady friend who is in the pharmaceutical business. I told her that I was having a little problem considering that I am fifty-eight years old. She asked me if I ever heard of the pill? I told her "yes," and she promised to bring me a few she had as samples. I was very glad and told her on the first occasion I will try the wonder pill.
On a Saturday afternoon, I was in my bedroom alone wondering. I said to myself, Why not take one of these pills and see how I would react? So I did. A few minutes after, I felt a rush of heat in my head as if it was about to explode, and then I broke into a cold sweat and started trembling—but no erection. I was really scared, I said to myself in a ridiculous way, What a way to die. Fortunately, I did not die, but I learned my lesson.
Little would I know that a few days later I would watch a commercial about a guy whose car was overheating. He walked into a drugstore, bought himself a gallon of water, and poured the precious liquid into the radiator. Finally, he drove home undisturbed. This commercial had in my opinion a flaw to it since it is the contrary to what had happened to me. I was overheated after I took the pill.
I come from an underdeveloped country. Look at my profile, and you will know where exactly. In my country we associate being poor as dirt poor. Once you look at the person, your heart goes to him or her. The clothes on his back are dirty. He looks like it's been days since he last took a bath, and obviously anyone could only see bones below his flimsy skin. That's poor.
When I come to the States, they showed me fat and very fat human beings, and they tell me that those are poor people and they are living in the worst part of town. Whereas my house does not even have a roof let alone a place anyone could live in. So, what to make of it? It took me a while not to associate miserably thin with poverty. So I learned to understand what it means by malnourished.
Excerpted from AN OPINIONATED WALK by Eddy Guerrier Copyright © 2012 by Eddy Guerrier. Excerpted by permission of AuthorHouse. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.