Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life

Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780802496133
Publisher: Moody Publishers
Publication date: 09/05/2017
Pages: 160
Sales rank: 830,188
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

ARLENE PELLICANE is a speaker and co-author of Growing Up Social: Raising Relational Kids in a Screen-Driven World (with Dr. Gary Chapman). Arlene's other books include 31 Days to Becoming a Happy Mom and 31 Days to a Happy Husband. She has been a featured guest on the Today Show, Fox & Friends, Focus on the Family, FamilyLife Today, The 700 Club, and Turning Point with Dr. David Jeremiah. Before becoming a stay-at-home mom, Arlene worked as the Associate Producer for Turning Point Television with Dr. David Jeremiah. Arlene earned her BA from Biola University and her Masters in Journalism from Regent University. She lives in San Diego with her husband James and their three children. To learn more and for free family resources such as a monthly Happy Home podcast, visit

Table of Contents

Forword 11

Introduction: It Is Well with My Phone 15

Quiz: How Calm, Cool, and Connected Are You? 27

1 H = Hold Down the Off Button 31

2 A = Always Put People First 51

3 B = Brush Daily: Live with a Clean Conscience 69

4 I = I Will Go Online with Purpose 89

5 T = Take a Hike 109

Conclusion: Enjoy the View 127

Discussion Group Questions 135

10 Easy Questions to Connect 141

Notes 143

About the Author 149

What People are Saying About This

From the Publisher

Calm, Cool, and Connected is the book I have been wishing someone would write. Filled with practical insights and helpful tips, it is a manifesto for all of us parents who are navigating the new frontier of raising kids who have the world at their fingertips, literally. If you ever struggle with guilt about how much your kids are on screens or wage battle with your own proclivity to check email six times an hour, Arlene offers sanity without shaming and provides a way forward that is both life giving and realistic.

Mandy Arioto

President and CEO of MOPS International and author of Starry-Eyed: Seeing Grace in the Unfolding Constellation of Life and Motherhood



In this screen age of distraction, disconnection, and addiction, Calm, Cool, and Connected offers us a better way. Thank you Arlene—this book is timely, extremely practical, and a great resource.


Sylvia Hart Frejd

Founder and Executive Director Center for Digital Wellness Liberty University

Would you like a healthier family life? More joy? Deeper connections? Have you noticed your children being stressed and anxious? What about you? Arlene Pellicane will help you see how your technology use is relevant. Yes, yours. Children tell me all the time that they wish their moms would put down their phones. Many moms want to. Arlene will help you do that and more. Her personal illustrations, compelling data, and practical ideas will inspire you to make realistic changes. They’re doable, directly related to real concerns, and will result in greater contentment. You can learn to be a new and better you!


Kathy Koch

Founder/president of Celebrate Kids, Inc., and the author of Screens and Teens: Connecting with Our Kids in a Wireless World


In today’s culture, no longer are phones used just for calling; instead, they are multipurpose mechanisms that are calling the shots in our lives—dictating how we spend a great majority of our daily waking moments. As a result, I can only think of about three people I know personally—who don’t own a cell phone—that wouldn’t benefit from the advice in Calm, Cool, and Connected. For the rest of us, the time is long overdue! Arlene’s wise insight into this tangled, technical problem coupled with scads of creative, concrete solutions will inspire you to put down your devices so you can spend less time touching screens and more time touching lives instead.


Karen Ehman

Proverbs 31 Ministries speaker and New York Times bestselling author of Keep It Shut and Listen, Love, Repeat



Arlene Pellicane has addressed head-on the silent foe of our day—our dependence on technology. As we steward ourselves and the next generation, all moms should read Calm, Cool, and Connected! It’s a beautiful blend of practical and spiritual reasons why our dependence on cellphones harms the very things we long for most. Arlene wraps the warnings about the hidden dangers of our phone in a way that brings hope and reminds us, it’s not too late to change.


Glynnis Whitwer

Author of Doing Busy Better

Executive Director of Communications at Proverbs 31 Ministries


Arlene’s words convicted me from the moment I saw the title! The sentence that spoke the most to me? “Your spouse is more interesting than your phone.” This book gave me the reasoning and motivation to back away from my screen and take steps toward those I love.


Dannah Gresh

Creator of Secret Keeper Girl and author of The 20 Hardest Questions Every Mom Faces: Praying Your Way to Realistic, Biblical Answers


Calm, Cool, and Connected is not only a great guidebook to creating intentional relationships and healthy living but it also provides suggestions for how to live life more fully face-to-face. Our lives are fuller because we choose to connect with others in real time and limit greatly the screen time in our home. Kudos to Arlene for addressing a growing problem in our society in a very practical and useful way.


Joanne and Dan Miller

Authors, Creating a Haven of Peace and 48 Days to the Work You Love


In this excellent and timely book, author Arlene Pellicane has defined a plan for staying connected in this electronic age. Through building a productive, yet cautious relationship with one’s devices, you can be calm, cool, and connected.


Mel Cheatham

Clinical Professor of Neurosurgery



If you sometimes struggle, as I do, to use technology in a balanced way, Calm, Cool, and Connected is a must read. Arlene offers practical suggestions and doable strategies that will equip you to be more intentional when it comes to your screen time.


Ashleigh Slater

Author of Braving Sorrow Together and Team Us


It is a two-edged sword, this digital age. Like dynamite, digital tools can be a force for greatness in connecting people and creating opportunities; however, on the other hand, digital power can blow lives apart if not used with care. In Calm, Cool, and Connected, Arlene Pellicane shows us how to maximize the blessings and benefits while minimizing the dangers and deceptions. In a worldjam-packed with all things digital, this book is a must read!


Pam Farrel

Codirector, Love-Wise; author of Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti and 10 Best Decisions a Parent Can Make

Customer Reviews

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Calm, Cool, and Connected: 5 Digital Habits for a More Balanced Life 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 7 reviews.
Anonymous 9 days ago
In Calm, Cool, and Connected, Arlene Pellicane challenges readers to reevaluate their relationship with digital technology and, particularly, social media. Pellicane incorporates statistics and research, but she also balances the research with personal stories. She also includes several short quizzes that help readers identify how often and why they reach for technology. Even readers who believe they maintain a balanced relationship with technology may be surprised at the seemingly innocuous ways they rely on technology at the cost of holistic well-being. Pellicane’s writing style is easy to read yet thought-provoking, and non-judgmental while still challenging. She does not argue that readers must give up all connections to or use of technology. Instead, she uses the word HABIT as a mnemonic to help readers remember five simple, achievable steps to change habits related to the unhelpful and even unhealthy use of technology and social media. I highly recommend Calm, Cool, and Connected to readers of many ages and life stages. I read Calm, Cool, and Connected twice and already shared the book with another reader. Like me, readers may be surprised and challenged when they take an honest look at how much technology and social media impact their daily lives and their well-being. Disclaimer: I received a free copy of this book from the publisher in order to write an honest, unbiased review. The opinions I have expressed are my own.
LiteraryMusingsBlog More than 1 year ago
We are a society built on speed and convenience. And we’re used to having everything we want at the touch of a button. It’s becoming more and more acceptable for devices to appear in any social function. Smartphones and other devices are ingrained in our culture, and it’s a trend that happened rather quickly. I try to be welcoming of change, but I feel like the use of cell phones rose so rapidly, we weren’t able to really focus on the best ways to use them. In her book, Calm, Cool, and Connected, Arlene Pellicane shares some practical advice on how we can use our devices in more productive ways. Pellicane writes in a way that is accessible to anyone, and through her writing, she gives the advice to help us be less connected to our devices and more connected with the world around us. Each chapter ends with a section she calls “Creating Calm”, which gives a practical way to apply what she wrote about in the chapter. I’m not sure we are always aware of how much time we spend on our devices. How many of us reach for our phones anytime there is a lull in conversation? How many times do we look at our phones to check a quick email, but then spend the next 20 minutes scrolling through Facebook? By being willing to ask tough questions, Pellicane’s book made me think about how often I reached for my phone. It’s always great when a book that holds many little snippets of wisdom is also super short. The length of Calm, Cool, and Connected was perfect for the topic being covered. Pellicane didn’t waste time filling up pages with more (but unnecessary) words. She just said what needed to be said and called it good. There is something to be said for brevity! Honestly, some parts are a little cheesy. In fact, there is one section that offers ideas of things to do outside. I just felt like that wasn’t exactly needed. That being said, I was challenged by what Pellicane wrote. If there are 24 hours in a day and roughly 16 of those are claimed by working and sleeping, I’m not entirely sure I want to spend my remaining 8 mindlessly scrolling. There are ways we can maximize our effectiveness with our devices, and Pellicane touches on that as well. Our phones aren’t just fidget toys; they can be insanely useful. It’s through my phone that I keep in contact with my friends on a regular basis. A short text or a long FaceTime chat can be super encouraging to both parties. However, I want to make sure that I’m not allowing my phone to become a distraction, something that’s keeping me from being truly connected to the here and now.
Sunshine_B More than 1 year ago
In today's age, our phones are an extension of ourselves whether we realize it or not! And for some, the topic on the overuse of technology can be a bit of a sore spot. Arlene's writing style is fresh and inviting and she brings up valid points using the breakdown of the word "Habit" to bring us back down to earth when it comes to the use of our "digital pacifier." So, don't be afraid of charging your phone in the other room, and remember it is truly well with your phone (if you let it) I received an advanced copy of this book in exchange for my honest review
summer_no9 More than 1 year ago
This book was a beautiful writing and compelling with also inspiring to all of us how much the technology effect to our life living and the relationship with all of ages today. This book will offer and showing us to learn and see the best solution to equip you to be more intentional when it come to yours home screen that we all spending time. I high recommend to everyone must to read this book. “ I received complimentary a copy of this book from Moody Publishers for this review”.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you’ve ever wanted to throw your phone across the room in disgust after another mindless hour of cyberloafing, if you’ve ever thought, “I wish I didn’t have to answer every text immediately,” if you’ve ever worried about your kids’ technology use (or your own!), get this book TODAY! Calm, Cool, and Connected is full of great information, tons of practical tips, scientific evidence to support the conclusions, and biblical truth to tie everything together. I am grateful for all the hard work Arlene did! With her, I can now say, “It is well with my phone!”
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
If you’ve ever wanted to throw your phone across the room in disgust after another mindless hour of cyberloafing, if you’ve ever thought, “I wish I didn’t have to answer every text immediately,” if you’ve ever worried about your kids’ technology use (or your own!), get this book TODAY! Calm, Cool, and Connected is full of great information, tons of practical tips, scientific evidence to support the conclusions, and biblical truth to tie everything together. I am grateful for all the hard work Arlene did! With her, I can now say, “It is well with my phone!”
beloved569 More than 1 year ago
I knew I really needed to read this book and that the author would have plenty of things to say that I needed to hear. I was right. When I received the book I thought it was such a small book. But I don't think anything was left out. For a book about forming habits for a more balanced life, it was well balanced in information, in approach, in connecting thoughts, etc. It was a well balanced book and I not only gained wisdom from it but I enjoyed it!