Confessions of a Serial Dater

Confessions of a Serial Dater

by Michelle Cunnah


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780060560379
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 07/26/2005
Pages: 336
Product dimensions: 5.31(w) x 8.00(h) x 0.75(d)

About the Author

Michelle Cunnah lives just outside New York City with her family, her cat, and her vast collection of vinyl records and CDs. A frequent visitor to the Outlets, she is the proud owner of approximately forty pairs of shoes. This is her first novel.

Read an Excerpt

Confessions of a Serial Dater

By Michelle Cunnah

HarperCollins Publishers, Inc.

Copyright © 2005 Michelle Cunnah
All right reserved.

ISBN: 0060560371

Chapter One

The Profiterole Problem

Rosie's Confession:

Sometimes, I wish I were a turtle. Amongst their many other fine qualities, turtles can breathe through their asses, which would be a pretty handy fail-safe ability to possess, especially when facing death by asphyxiation . . .

On the downside, I would be hunted or accidentally killed to the point of species extinction, which is not great at all. But at least I wouldn't have to sit through dinner with Jonathan's godawful boss . . .

"This bloody country is going down the toilet," Horrible Boss booms to the dinner table at large, his jowly face flushed with indignance and too much brandy.

Normally, I am Rosie the Calm, the Organized, the Mildtempered, the Reliable, the Logical, but after two minutes in this man's presence I am goaded beyond reason to change the habits of a lifetime.

I am sorely tempted to poke him with the heel of one of my shoes, which are too tight and are greatly adding to my general state of misery. It could be an interesting experiment to see if my pointy heel would deflate some of his pompous, self-righteous bigotry.

Trust me, I do not possess homicidal maniac tendencies, but deflation by shoe heel is a nice fantasy. . . . Can you imagine the mess Horrible Boss would make if he did explode? Tempting . . . but think of the cleanup job and additional work it would cause for the hotel staff. I'd never do that to them.

I push off my pinchy shoes under the dinner table just as my boyfriend, Jonathan, gives my free hand a friendly squeeze and smiles his charming smile at me.

My heart does a little skip, and this reminds me why I am here. To radiate the "right" company image for Jonathan. I squeeze Jonathan's hand in response. It's not as if he makes a habit of torturing me with Horrible Boss, after all, and now that my feet are liberated, I'm already feeling a million times better. My toes have blood circulating around them again, which is always a good thing.

Jonathan's smile widens in a way that says "later," because Friday night he always stays over at my place, and I shiver just a bit. Jonathan's "later" is of the very, very good variety-- not exactly earthquakes good, but let's just say that the bedside table has been known to tremble ...

I pin a vacuous smile on my face and reach for my wineglass. In the hope of creating the "right" image, I am practically channeling "perfect company wife" vibes. And although the company at the table might be awful, at least the woodsmoked Merlot has a lot of personality. So I decide to drink a little more.

As I raise my glass to my lips, I have this really odd feeling that someone is watching me. I've been having this feeling all evening. I'm sure I'm not imagining it.

I glance furtively around the room. And freeze midsip as I nearly lock eyes with a man at the next table. As soon as he realizes I've caught him, he looks back to his companion. His exquisite, blond companion.

He's to-die-for gorgeous, and I mean that in a very dangerous, endearing kind of way. The kind of gorgeous women line up for to get their hearts broken by. And although I am not immune to a bit of male flattery, I just don't get why he's staring at me. Don't get me wrong, I'm more than okay with my body image. I know I don't resemble the back end of a bus, but I would never get mistaken for a supermodel.

Not that I'm remotely interested in him: It's just a way of passing time and phasing out Horrible Boss. . . .

Of course, Horrible Boss isn't really called Horrible Boss. He's Sidney Smythe-Lawrence, CEO of Jonathan's company. But I call him that in private, because he is one of the most obnoxious people I have ever met.

I clamp my mouth shut and fasten my attention firmly on the dessert course before I can say something rude, thereby ruining the evening for Jonathan and my fellow diners. Of course, I would never do anything like that ...

Oh, great -- profiteroles. I love profiteroles. All that lovely cream encapsulated in mouthwatering pastry, and dripping with chocolate. But they're just so hard to eat. I mean, one profiterole is just too big to scoop up and push into your mouth. If I were at home, I'd do exactly that, but it's not really the kind of thing you can do at a Christmas fund-raiser in a posh hotel ballroom full of posh people, is it?

"I'll tell you what's wrong with this country," Horrible Boss booms again.

Oh, please don't, I think but don't say ...


Excerpted from Confessions of a Serial Dater by Michelle Cunnah Copyright © 2005 by Michelle Cunnah. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
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Confessions of a Serial Dater 4.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 5 reviews.
Lindsie More than 1 year ago
This book was very good. It is well written, readers are able to relate the characters, and they are easily loveable. I will say though that Rosie's cousin was infuriating! That was of course, my least favorite part of the book. Otherwise I loved it. B-
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
harstan More than 1 year ago
In London Rosie is a confident success when it comes to business, but when it comes to her heart she feels that she might be a serial dating ¿manizer¿. At a friend¿s wedding reception, Rosie realizes that every man at her table spent time with her in her bed. She thinks she loves her current squeeze Jonathan, but loathes her beau¿s boss, who seems to believe that he has rights to her because her boyfriend is his employee. Rosie is disappointed that Jonathan failed to end his supervisor¿s blatant sexual harassment of her................. At a dinner dance, her animosity explodes as the boss crosses new harassing lines with Jonathan pretending all is okay. She selects a stranger to use as a deterrent and he kindly helps her. However, Rosie begins dreaming of her champion though she feels they will never meet again, that is, until fate intercedes.............. Though Rosie at first seems shallow, fans will realize as soon as she makes her confession that she is a deep person who is just seeking someone to love and who will love her back. She is just going about it wrong. She is the obvious center of this fine chick lit tale as fans will chuckle at her sexploits which affirm in her mind that as long as it¿s male she is an equal opportunity serial dater until she begins to fantasize about her hero, the mystery rescuer. Michelle Cunnah provides a fine chick lit tale starring a wonderful protagonist......... Harriet Klausner
Guest More than 1 year ago
I was lucky enough to get the opportunity to read this pre-release, and, upon finishing, I couldn't wait one single minute to tell all you chick lit lovers out there to *immediately* order a copy! I love Michelle Cunnah's writing. Nobody does women like she does. Rosie, the main character in Confessions, is warm and delightful, but utterly real at the same time. You'll find yourself rooting for her to make a success of her odd jobs business and to land the man of her dreams from Chapter One. A great beach read for the summer!