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Colin Gormley is the most boring, insignificant man in the universe. Ever. This is the story of how the most boring, insignificant man in the universe ever came to hold the key to it.....

He likes his bland, quiet, predictable life. He avoids ambition. Or rather it avoids him. However, the arrival of a mysterious artefact in the post feeds bland, quiet and predictable into a garden shredder. All Colin wants is tea, toast and time to redecorate his lounge, but his life will never be the same ...