Cultural Practices of the Heartland

Deep within the suburban jungle of Cincinnati, a monster has emerged, bursting out of the Rumpke Sanitary Landfill. Taking its name from its birthplace, Rumpke is a thousand feet tall, has revolting personal habits, and might be vaguely familiar to readers, considering his orange-tinged hair and proportionally tiny hands. What do Americans do when such a creature appears, lumbers around at random, and occasionally defiles a local landmark? For millions, the choice is obvious – worship it.

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