March 7, 2015 was the 15 year anniversary of my mom taking her own life. Not only one but two suicides have happened in our family. It's a hard truth to swallow. Wondering if there was something I could have said or done differently. I beat myself up for years wondering why? Then I turned to poetry as an outlet to deal with the pain of the two suicides and being in a emotionally, mentally and physically abusive marriage. The trials of being a cop and a fire fighter. This is definitely the hardest book for me to write. I've shed so many tears writing these poems that nobody would ever see. Then I realized that there are so many others out there facing the same heartaches that I have.