"DEAR DECEMBER"

by Samantha Friello

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781450229111
Publisher: iUniverse, Incorporated
Publication date: 05/04/2010
Pages: 224
Product dimensions: 6.00(w) x 9.00(h) x 0.47(d)

Read an Excerpt

"DEAR DECEMBER"


By Samantha Friello

iUniverse, Inc.

Copyright © 2010 Samantha Friello
All right reserved.

ISBN: 978-1-4502-2911-1


Chapter One

WEREN'T YOU LUCKY weren't you lucky to be enticed and found to become the only one he couldn't live without weren't you lucky to be able to consolidate every major disgrace into a life-saving grace always being available to take her place weren't you lucky when he became your worst enemy never forgiving him for all the years spent on frugal necessity numerous women who came and went weren't you lucky to become a part of his life a strong physique inconsistent with becoming weak inconsiderate and uninvolved with emotional baggage so far nonsense arguments always unable to be resolved weren't you lucky to attend a black-tie affair exhibiting self-confidence without a care black, designer labels strutting around conference tables allowing him to hide behind what at first seemed stable in a well-versed manner he walked alongside another all shaken up you were angry and abrupt knowing that this time you've had enough weren't you lucky to be rid of him for the ultimate disaster would be in forgiving him BRIGHTEST BULB shaking out curlers from your hair navigating around a light bulb of a halo wanting to reach out and grab another handful of mousse and gel globs of green and white mixed into solutions to help tame uncontrollable unruliness a master effect concentrating on which important event is next a driving force constituting explosive wind and rain praying for the weather to cooperate for it is all such a pain sticky dreads pasting themselves onto your face as you lose your ever-shifting barrettes a tangled mass resembling a bird's nest of a mess QUIT are you able to let go of his tremendous faults are you able to satisfy all which he has disqualified out of sheer mercy and a due respect numerous danger signs over which you wept can you quit holding onto someone who almost didn't love you can you accept the fact that he almost adored you shining earrings and necklaces which hung over an attractive chest and thin waistline can you quit knowing that you were just a piece of property always willing and ready to bow down to him properly numerous mistakes which have been forgiven in the past will turn into valuable lessons which will indeed last befriending an alternative, weak start after having given up on opportunities which were doomed to fall apart a weakened condition unable to be remedied with pills as you rage against his iron-clad will can you quit fooling yourself after witnessing him in a compromising position proclaiming it is all her fault can you protect yourself unlike any other who sold themselves short a love affair turning into an education only after you have been caught GOURMET FOOL sage and potent ingredients a concoction implying that you will feel better after having consumed a tea made out of herbal leaves a distracting tease as you lose yourself within his darkening depths a bottomless pit of tantalizing sex the sweet stench of hot, red peppers chopped thinly a variety of healthy totems transmitting a vibrant flag of victory for he somehow overhears your mind-assailing pleas within the tantalizing aroma of potent, chicken noodle soup able to facilitate an original, cooking appeal as he pulls you down onto a wooden, kitchen stool forcing you to sample the plentiful tastes of a gourmet fool adding a little more zing to an already sizzling hot sauce a mesmerizing gaze and candlelight flickering your way for you needed him more than ever on this hot, succulent day emitting a heady laugh and a quiet sigh as he strokes your inner thigh a night to remember massaging his tender back thanking him for opening your eyes to an uplifting, transformative state solid attributes which encompass a mouth-watering, original taste A PERIODIC AILMENT a cough, spit and swallow deterrents for those who do not want to see you disheveled and intolerant sneezing and wishing for the day when you can go back to being healthy and brave for a broken heart has taken its toll making you sick with a high fever and mighty cough an unwanted state of being becoming a physical altercation lethargic and slow traversing other worlds as you drift through space orbiting magical spheres as a toddler dreams with a cherubic smile on his face comfortably bundled within a makeshift cave as comforters and cotton sheets are lovingly placed slowly regaining your strength and living for what is left to come slight, summer days and the gentle breeze swirling around the ancient sun pure oxygen and ticking time filling empty valves in your heart trapped within the confines of a cloudy haze as your life falls apart minor aches and pains growing into a resistant, antibiotic strain a churning restlessness and an enlightened source patiently waiting for the summer cold to run its course FRUIT MEDLEY whirling, spinning and breaking ice and coveted grapefruit juice along with bland yogurt and a ripened banana tempting tastes which have gotten you through a nerve-racking diet minus sordid pills and cheating thrills the blender awaits you every morning to refresh an ounce of misgiving while converting it into an arrangement of sinful flavors melting in your mouth despite leftover ice and your mind's inner shout vibrant energy will be all-inclusive as soon as you sip away his deliberate intrusion WHAT WOULD YOU what would you do if you saw him again would you shrug indifference as you glance over his shoulder with little to no significance praying for the bitter cold, harsh winds and falling snow to keep him at bay as you wait for fate to derive a way to sheepishly excuse yourself a wanton heaving incorporating a heart which flutters at a fevered pace holding you captive within the bounds of bitter indifference a race catapulting you forward without a smidgen of memory's worn crown what would you do if you saw him as he has been would you detest fate for compiling wayward facts would you walk away with your head bowed down and your tail between your legs grasping for strength for every last remnant is his to take would you face up and let courage lead the way would you yell and scream with all indignity making you feel unclean would you utter mad references of past mistakes forever regretting your first date would you step back and let his will be done a brave feat interacting with trash and debris strong feelings which have been left to simmer will soon be washed away a torrid juxtaposition of thoughts and feelings empowering you to win SPA DAY promoting your one and only luxury a spa of sorts scented candles and creams galore smooth, versatile hands fingers which perused your delicate and scarred skin everlasting relief turning into a major belief a tempting face adding persistent courage to what it is you lack ribs of muscle and stress off your back clothing folded amongst robes of white and a soft, cotton kind of sigh interloping with languid breathing the ins and outs of your fevered lungs for you have tried everything in order to truly relax braving the sauna heat and your effortless feet dangling over massage tables while bearing no substantial grief for you will eventually succumb to an inordinate amount of freedom's space existing in-between two worlds as silence referees the darkness and the light proudly accepting every yank and pull of sinful delight RITE OF PASSAGE joined together by wanton days shifting time and space carefully won reminiscing as winds blew glorious nights spent kissing you tearing apart each others' souls along with restricting clothes copper skin sweet and salty hidden beaches found within a million lifetimes lived in sin rethinking our rite of passage and giving in PEN TO PAPER bubble letters of A,B,C's and D's drawn in pastel hues of pink and blue unpleased as you tightly wrap your fingers around a ballpoint pen correcting errors on pure, white paper screwing up your face in a dignified frown as you try to recapture the reason of why their grades are plummeting down a schoolmarm coming to grips with another child who is gifted never dispirited in the least for he is where you have placed all your belief until your grip was hard and determined you remained stationary sitting in your seat and murmuring a red mark and points taken off for bad behavior once to be absolved of all special favors another day to place the blame on yourself hoping to relay your contrite message to the world a short speech told with stockings which are in breach of school code's ethics bright, red lipstick marking its territory upon your whitened teeth the click of high heels and a chalkboard gray and blackened by overuse and decay additions and subtractions and multi-equation reactions pulling up your chair from behind your desk which is bigger than theirs as you call up your favorite pupil to solve a difficult dare you were hopefully ecstatic for you had favored them all the same being a teacher has its drawbacks even when you fought to be fair and tame always noticing the ones who are special and gifted knowing full well that only one would be sufficient LONELINESS loneliness stings a desert-dry thickness forming droplets of water basking in summer glow sweet nothings uttered a year ago loneliness dries like paint blank canvases waiting patiently for paintbrushes to create loneliness breeds deep burdened with grief despite my ingratitude and disbelief loneliness is passable only when the sun is dawning grave consequences which came calling loneliness became my friend walking alongside misdirection and doubt never anticipating living without DISHRAG wait and see long days initiating true belief that you would actually benefit from words spoken deceivingly the month of curses promoting high tides a reservoir of drought drying out your insides DESSERT FOR US ALL flavored ice cream calls out to you rummaging through plastic bags that are too big to carry pints of gooey doe and melting cream ignored through it all as you lick your spoon clean able to gaze at your reflection inside cement-plastered depths gleaming utensils held tight polished silver and always shining bright chocolate chips and mint green with envy and sin take another scoop and refill your dish full of ravenous appetites and die-hard wishes thinking that you can escape bursts of creamy flavor once denied you for you tried to lose weight always ready and willing to excavate buttery urns filled with thick cream and milk whole or non-fat it didn't really matter for to taste one itty bit is an enormous effort ready and willing to be flattered asking for one, last sip his shameful indiscretions and minor slips downright discouraging vehemently trying to control the undeniable urge to purge as you tiredly gaze at her tight thighs a potent realization seen through his enamored eyes reconstruct your inner demons by placing much emphasis on him leaving staring off into space kitchen counters weaving in and out of this godforsaken place melting ice cream disappearing without a trace WORD ITINERARY words are summer-like flowing gently through the tides words attack the insides lashing out with lies revelations of fury pent-up and smoldering another shake of your head agreeing to what has been said words are proceeded by exclamation points an uplifting celebration of morbid fascination united they stand lovers walking hand in hand trying to rid themselves of her other man you can never take back harsh words brittle, determined and offensive waiting for dire consequences to mend broken fences paragraphs slip words into the sun turning book pages yellow and soft from humidity overcome always imagining a sentence where there is none A PARTY FAVOR a bold introduction as you shake hands with a cordial gentleman a clear, strong liquid fizzing at the top of many a party sifter appropriately named after a high and mighty mister whose face you could never remember a drunk and frayed demeanor acting out of character in a flamboyant and notorious manner a knock-out and a turnaround after chugging down one drink after another slight murmurs and the stinging, sour taste of brandy and wine a deep, bloody red from a prickly, delicate vine roses and sticking thorns which wept for you could never partake in such a pretentious, gullible quest celebrating in a grand ballroom full of old age and dust brittle brooms used as she frantically curses your abuse loud and raw after spying you with another girl an embarrassing situation interrupted with a slight cough and a gruff clearing of the throat ENIGMA my aching back and sidesplitting laugh wanting to be rescued from searing, pain-ridden muscles unable to get on with it due to constant babble making me stumble into a fit of giggles wasting away is a knowledgeable argument soon to be forgotten turning into someone without an inkling of a doubt inquisitive questions disturbing the monotony of utter perfection perturbed and incapable of figuring out what this is all about A TRUSTED CONFIDANTE a smooth, silky finish of natural wood gleaming crosses and beams making up an intricate frame nuts and bolts holding together my trusted friend humming a lullaby as I pick her up again glossy, rough strings worn in and always able to ring chiming desolate chording or single-noted moaning the true love of my life never disappointing with gentle care and grace I kiss her wooden body forever thankful for her faithful place in my arms holding her close as I write many a folk song another lullaby escapes through strong hands and fingers trying to relate the succulent outcome of another grieving song lost upon my lips threading its way down my arms and into dainty, calloused fingertips a peaceful persistence of harmony flows through me as I raise my right arm to strum deep, melodious strings a grown-up girl turning the clock back to when she was six years old falling in love with her faithful companion many a decade ago squinting through robust tears as I grab her long, smooth neck a fretboard full of marks and regrets a summoning up of pain as I only know how to relate through my trusted confidante, my acoustic guitar, my only great friend SAD LIPS outline sad lips with bright, red lip liner retracing the pathway you left pulsing lips bereft ever since you went away staring into the mirror at a lonely, beaten girl whose life path is in ruins and swirls memories flush themselves out into winter storms a configuration of brilliant stars which rush to let you in again sad lips remember your slight touch warm and gentle as the earth's sun forget that I remembered every word you've said for they exist within memories now deadened and misled walking away with a chin held high sad lips purging insults as numerous indignities survive on berating your plentiful faults wrapped up in another disastrous result blowing kisses into the hollow wind blessing you and sending you one, last wish hoping that you acknowledge your insensitive and selfish ways prohibiting you from ever recovering from my saddened lips of decay MADEMOISELLE permission is granted for all that you've seen is never cut and dry nor clean a moronic proposal of fashionable illusion still captivated by knee-deep waters which filter themselves out into surging oceans the most beautiful and heartwrenching of them all a mademoiselle strewn across storefronts inside of your favorite mall italicized, brazen words jumping out from white billboards your lips forlorn and shaking as you study her elusive body form gazing in awe at her deep-set eyes seeming to drip tears as high and dry as the sky yearning to be in her place as she disappears within nightmares you tried so hard to erase placing blame on your hereditary genes as you swim underneath denial and bloodcurdling screams a genius mind full of tact and smarts always unable to live up to the model thin and peace of heart never allowing him to step all over you again for you are everywhere you have already been a world built upon stagnant beaches, overpopulation and unnecessary needing a mademoiselle's choice of what is worth keeping TOSSED SALAD lettuce leaves and chunks of green split into portions flaking and dripping with french dressing and a liquid form of oppression wanting to eat a hamburger with your cronies willing to admit to your one and only obsession over waistlines thick and small as a fork lifts to bait a crinkly form red, lush tomatoes quartered or split in half over-ripe cucumbers and hard-boiled eggs a taste of radish and green pepper lending a hand to miniature bacon bits pieces of it hanging onto a thread of salt salivating in your mouth is a wanton afterthought of what-if's and all the harm it would do to bask inside a greasy spoon tear-forming onions and hamburger meat rising above fluffy buns of starch and irreparable grief when all is said and done you would have succumbed raising your pudgy hand to no one grappling with the effects of hunger staying on a diet where so much is prohibited within the throes of fevered excitement and dedication unnervingly placating him as you munch on a meal designed for a rabbit secretly stashing away your perverse, addictive habit (Continues...)



Excerpted from "DEAR DECEMBER" by Samantha Friello Copyright © 2010 by Samantha Friello. Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Contents

WEREN'T YOU LUCKY....................1
BRIGHTEST BULB....................3
QUIT....................4
GOURMET FOOL....................6
A PERIODIC AILMENT....................8
FRUIT MEDLEY....................10
WHAT WOULD YOU....................11
SPA DAY....................13
RITE OF PASSAGE....................15
PEN TO PAPER....................16
LONELINESS....................19
DISHRAG....................20
DESSERT FOR US ALL....................21
WORD ITINERARY....................23
A PARTY FAVOR....................24
ENIGMA....................26
A TRUSTED CONFIDANTE....................27
SAD LIPS....................29
MADEMOISELLE....................31
TOSSED SALAD....................33
A CRY FOR HELP....................35
THE NEXT CONQUEST....................36
MINUS A POCKETFUL....................37
THE OTHER MAN....................39
FOR SURE....................41
A DECLARATION....................42
TO OVERLOOK HIS FOIBLES....................44
LUSH AVERAGES....................45
A NONCOMMITTAL RESPONSE....................46
PROUD SPONSOR....................48
SELF-INFLICTED PARALYSIS....................49
REGRET....................50
A JUMP FOR JOY....................52
USED UP....................53
TO CALL HIS BLUFF....................54
BLUE COLLAR MAN....................55
CONCOCTION....................57
TWIDDLING THUMBS....................58
HIDDEN AGENDA....................59
CHEF JESSICA....................60
WOMAN TO WOMAN....................61
SHRINKING VIOLET....................63
A ROYAL ENTRANCE....................65
THE BLAMING GAME....................68
YOUNGER FISH TO FRY....................70
FLAMBOYANT BOY....................72
WORD RETRIEVAL....................73
ARTIST COLLECTIVE....................75
RECONSTITUTION....................76
SLIP AND FALL....................77
A DYING BREED....................78
CRACKED UP TO BE....................80
BLACK SHEEP....................82
ALL ABOARD....................84
A SAINT....................87
FLIGHT OF AN ANGEL....................88
MR. AA....................90
TO TAKE HIM BACK....................92
BEG YOUR PARDON....................93
STANDING OVATION....................95
A WILLING PARTICIPANT....................96
CUT OUT DOLL....................98
AVALANCHE....................100
YOUR TREAT IS MY TREAT....................102
FORTITUDE....................103
REELED IN....................104
A VESTED INTEREST....................105
SILVER LINING....................106
GREENER PASTURES....................107
FOOD FIGHT....................108
PLANT....................110
THIS AND THAT....................112
MATINEE....................114
BRIC-A-BRAC....................116
COMING OF AGE....................118
TO SURPASS ALL DOUBT....................120
TIME TO....................121
TINT AND DYE....................122
PANORAMA....................125
A NEW BRAND OF COOL....................127
DOWN TO NULL....................128
POTLUCK SUPERFICIAL....................129
SHOPPING EXCURSION....................131
KUDOS FOR THE COURAGEOUS....................133
JILTED....................135
SLIM PICKINGS....................137
CRINKLE AND CRUMBLE....................138
ONE AND ONLY DISGRACE....................139
INDECIPHERABLE....................140
THE HANDYMAN....................141
FESSING UP....................143
OUT OF THE LOOP....................144
BREAKDOWN....................146
SHIFT WORK....................147
NERVES OF STEEL....................149
DOWN TIME....................150
IN ALL ACTUALITY....................152
ROLL IN THE HAY....................154
HER LADYSHIP....................155
PUPPETEER....................157
STAY TUNED....................159
A ROLE MODEL....................161
INDOCTRINATE....................163
YOUR INNER CHILD....................166
MOTHBALLS....................168
DINNER PARTY....................170
PLASTIC SCISSORS....................172
CANON YELL....................174
RIFFRAFF....................176
PLAYGROUND....................177
CLOTHES ON YOUR BACK....................178
FISHTAILING....................180
A JOB WELL DONE....................182
SPITBALLS....................185
ALMOST SAVED....................187
ANYONE ELSE....................189
CITY LIMITS....................191
WONDER WHY....................192
A REBUTTAL OF SORTS....................193
TEST THE WATERS....................195
FOOL HER TWICE....................196
EXPECT MUCH....................197
I RESERVE THE RIGHT....................198
FLUSH....................199
NO MORE....................200
TRUTH OR DARE....................202
PLAN B....................204
YOUR MAJESTY....................205
DEVOTION....................206
'TIL THE DAY I DIE....................207
HE WAS....................208
BACK TO COUNTRY....................209
SOMETHING SPECIAL....................210
RICKETY OL' TRUCK....................211
A LONG FACE....................212
DEAR DECEMBER....................213

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