Dude, Where's My Country?

Dude, Where's My Country?

by Michael Moore

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Overview

In case anyone in Washington hasn't noticed, Americans are fed up with the status quo. In this, the first shot fired over the bow of the 2004 Presidential election, Michael Moore aims to unseat the man who slithered into the White House on tracks built by the bloody hands of Enron and greased with the oil of his daddy. As if an unelected, semi-literate president weren't problem enough, America's Democrats have managed to take the liberty out of "liberal," signing on with the G.O.P. for dirty corporate money and the ill-gotten gains of globalization. The "left" is just as satisfied as the right to stand idly by as the chasm between the haves and the have-nots grows wider and wider. Thank god for Michael Moore because DUDE, WHERE'S MY COUNTRY tells us precisely what went wrong, and, more importantly, how to fix things. In a voice that is fearless, funny, and furious, Moore takes readers to the edge of righteous laughter and divine revenge.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780759508101
Publisher: Grand Central Publishing
Publication date: 10/07/2003
Sold by: Hachette Digital, Inc.
Format: NOOK Book
File size: 681 KB

About the Author

In addition to his work as a mega-bestselling author, Michael Moore is an award-winning director. He lives in Michigan.

Date of Birth:

April 23, 1954

Place of Birth:

Davison, Michigan

Education:

Attended University of Michigan, Flint

Read an Excerpt



DUDE, WHERE'S MY COUNTRY



By Michael Moore


Time Warner



Copyright © 2003

Michael Moore
All right reserved.



ISBN: 0-446-53223-1





Introduction


I love listening to people's stories about where they were and what they were
doing on the morning of 9/11, especially the stories from the ones who, through
luck or fate, were allowed to live.

For instance, there's this guy who had just returned the day before from his
honeymoon. That night, on September 10, his new bride thought she'd make him her
special homemade burrito. The burrito was horrible, like eating tar stripped off
the center line of the Major Deegan expressway. But love ignores all of that and
what counts is the gesture, not the digestion. He told her how grateful he was
and how much he loved her. And he asked for another.

The next morning, September 11, 2001, he's on the subway from Brooklyn to his
job on one of the top floors of the World Trade Center. The subway might have
been heading to Manhattan, but the burrito was heading south, and I don't mean
the Jersey shore. He starts to get sick, real sick, and decides to get off just
one stop before the World Trade Center. He runs up the subway stairs in a
desperate search for facilities. But this is New York and that was not to be.
And thus, on the corner of Park Row and Broadway, he became a poster boy for
Depends.

Embarrassed and humiliated-but feeling much better!-he flagged down a gypsy cab
and offered him a hundred dollars to take him home ($9 for the ride, and $91
toward the price of a new car).

When the man got home, he ran inside to take a shower and to put on a new set of
clothes so he could get back to Manhattan. Coming out of the shower he flipped
on the TV and, as he stood there, he watched the plane slam right into the floor
where he worked, where he would have been right now had his loving wife not made
him that wonderful-that absolutely perfectly incredible amazing ... He broke
down and began to cry.

My own 9/11 story wasn't so close a call. I was asleep in Santa Monica. The
phone rang around 6:30 a.m. and it was my mother-in- law. "New York is under
attack!" is what I heard her say through my half-awake ear. I wanted to say,
"Yeah so what's new- and it's 6:30 in the morning!"

"New York is at war," she continued. This made no sense other than, again, it
always feels like war in New York. "Turn on the TV," she said. And so I did. I
woke up my wife and as the television faded on there were the towers, on fire.
We tried to call our daughter back home in New York, no luck, then tried to call
our friend Joanne (who works near the World Trade Center), no luck, and then we
just sat there stunned. We didn't leave the bed or the TV until five that
afternoon when we finally found out that our daughter and Joanne were okay.

But a line producer we had just worked with, Bill Weems, was not okay. As the
networks started to run a scroll along the bottom of the TV with the names of
those who were on the planes, along came Bill's name on that screen. My last
memory of him was the two of us horsing around at a funeral home where we were
shooting a piece about the tobacco industry. Put two guys with a dark sense of
humor around a bunch of undertakers and you've got what we would call nirvana.
Three months later he was dead and-how do they say it?-"life as we knew it
changed forever."

Really? Did it? How has it changed? Is there enough distance from that tragic
day to ask that question and find an intelligent answer? Things certainly
changed for Bill's wife and his seven-year-old daughter. There's the crime,
right there, to have her daddy taken from her at such a young age. And life
changed for the loved ones of the other 3,000 who were murdered. They will never
lose the sorrow they feel. They are told that they "must move on." Move on to
where? Those of us who have lost someone (and I guess that's eventually
everyone) know that while life does "move on," the sock in the gut, the sorrow
in the heart, will never leave, so ways must be found to embrace it and make it
work for you and the living.

Somehow we all work our way through our own personal losses and we get up the
next morning and the morning after that and fix the kids' breakfast and do
another load of laundry and pay the bills and ...

Meanwhile, in faraway Washington, D.C., life is changing, too. Taking advantage
of our grief, and our fear that "it" may happen again, an appointed president
uses the dead of 9/11 as a convenient cover, a justification, for permanently
altering our American way of life. Is that why they died, so that George W. Bush
can turn the country into Texas? We've already conducted two wars since 9/11,
and an upcoming third or a fourth is not all that unlikely. If this is allowed
to continue, then all we will have accomplished is to dishonor those 3,000-plus
dead. I know Bill Weems didn't die so he could be used as an excuse to bomb
innocents overseas. If his death, his life, is to have a greater meaning from
this moment forward, it is to make sure that no one else like him will have to
lose his or her life in this insane, violent world, a world we now seem
hell-bent on running any way we damn well please.

I'm lucky, I guess, that I even get to write these words you are reading. Not
just because I get to live in the most wonderfulest country in the whole wide
world!
, but because after 9/11, my former publisher, Regan Books (a division of
HarperCollins which is a division of the News Corp which owns Fox News and it's
all owned by Rupert Murdoch), was trying its hardest to make sure my career as
an author would come to an early end.

The first 50,000 copies of Stupid White Men came off the printing press the day
before 9/11, but when the tragedy struck the next morning, the trucks that would
carry them to the nation's bookstores never left the loading dock. The publisher
then held the books hostage for five long months-not simply out of good taste
and respect (which I might have been able to understand), but out of a desire to
censor me and the things I wanted to say. They insisted I rewrite up to 50
percent of the book and that I remove sections that they found offensive to our
leader, Mr. Bush.

I refused to change a word. A standoff ensued until a librarian in New Jersey
heard me talking about the phone call I had just received from the Murdoch
publisher telling me that it looked as if they had no choice, thanks to my
stubbornness, but to "pulp" and recycle all 50,000 copies of my book that were
gathering dust in a warehouse in Scranton, Pennsylvania. I also was told by
others not to expect much in the way of a book career after this, as word would
spread that I was considered "trouble," a royal pain in the ass who wouldn't
play ball.

This librarian, Ann Sparanese, a woman I did not know, sent out an e-mail to a
list of librarians, telling them that my book was being banned. Her letter shot
around the Internet and, within days, letters from angry librarians were
flooding Regan Books. I got a call from the Murdoch police.

"What did you tell the librarians?" "Huh? I don't know any librarians." "Yes you
do! You told them about what we are doing with your book and now ... we're
getting hate mail from librarians!
" "Hmm," I replied, "I guess that's one
terrorist group you don't want to mess with."

Fearing there would soon be a crazed mob of wild librarians storming down Fifth
Avenue and surrounding the HarperCollins building, refusing to leave until
either my book was liberated from the Scranton warehouse or Murdoch himself was
drawn and quartered (though I would have settled for making Bill O'Reilly wear
his underwear on his head for a week), the News Corp surrendered.

They dumped my book in some bookstores with no advertising, no reviews, and the
offer of a three-city tour: Arlington! Denver! Somewhere in New Jersey! In other
words, the book was sent to the gallows for a quick and painless death. It's too
bad you wouldn't listen to us, one Murdoch operative told me, we were only
trying to help you. The country is behind George W. Bush and it is
intellectually dishonest of you not to rewrite your book and admit that he has
done a good job since 9/11. You are out of touch with the American people, and
your book will now suffer as a result of it.

I was so out of touch with my fellow Americans that, within hours after the
book's release, it went to number one on Amazon- and within five days it had
gone to its ninth printing. It's in its fifty-second printing as I write this.

The worst thing to tell a free people in a country that's still mostly free is
that they are not allowed to read something. That I was able to be heard-and
that my book would go on to be the number-one selling nonfiction hardcover book
of the year in the United States-screams volumes about this great country. The
people will not be intimidated and they will not be bullied by those in charge.
The American people may look like they don't know what's going on half the time,
and they may spend too much time picking out different-colored covers for their
cell phones, but when push comes to shove, they'll rise to the occasion and be
there for what is right.

So here I am now with this new book at none other than AOLTIMEWARNER and Warner
Books. I know, I know, when will I learn my lesson? But here's the good news.
During the entire time I've been writing this book, AOL has been trying to get
rid of Warner Books
. Why would a media company want to get rid of its book
division? What did Warner Books do to upset the gods of AOL? I figure if AOL
wants to dump these guys, they have to be okay. Plus, the other Warner folks in
this tangled web-Warner Bros. Pictures-are the people who distributed my first
film, Roger & Me. They were good and decent and they never threatened to "pulp
it."

Okay, I'm rationalizing. Six media companies own everything. Break up these
monopolies for the good of the country! The free flow of news and information in
a democracy must not be in the hands of just a few rich men.

Yet, I have to say, they seem to be behind me here 100 percent. 1000 percent!!
Not once have they said I was "trouble." But then, It's not me they really need
to worry about. IT's the librarians. And you.

(Continues...)




Excerpted from DUDE, WHERE'S MY COUNTRY
by Michael Moore
Copyright © 2003 by Michael Moore.
Excerpted by permission.
All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.

Table of Contents

Introduction
1 - 7 Questions for George of Arabia
2 - Home of the Whopper
3 - Oil's Well That Ends Well
4 - The United States of BOO!
5 - How to Stop Terrorism? Stop Being Terrorists!
6 - Jesus W. Christ
7 - Horatio Alger Must Die
8 - Woo Hoo! I Got Me a Tax Cut!
9 - A Liberal Paradise
10- How to Talk to Your Conservative Brother-in-Law
11- Bush Removal and Other Spring Cleaning Chores
Notes and Sources
Acknowledgements
About the Author

Customer Reviews

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Dude Where's My Country 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 123 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
In "Dude, wheres my country?" Moore does a great job of spilling out the actual truth of the past scandals with bush and corporote buisness, etc.
Throughout the book his casual yet very informative style of writing helps the reader understand issues alot better. Though the book is about mostly the wrongs of the country, Moore does a great job of keeping the reader entertained with his humorous antics, such as the letter from god.
Overall, it's a good read.
songcatchers More than 1 year ago
Michael Moore does a fantastic job of grabbing peoples attention and letting them know what's really going on. In Dude, Where's My Country he writes about George W. Bush and the myriad of lies he's told to the American people. He talks about liberals and conservatives and what those terms really mean. This book contains a letter from God denying being the messenger of Bush, how to get Oprah Winfrey to run for President and an illustration of a form for a Direct Deposit of Tax Refund of $1 Million or More. What I like about Michael Moore is his sense of humor. He never loses sight of the lighter side of things. He points out what's wrong with this country but not in a cynical way. He shows us what to do to change what we don't like. Michael Moore knows how to relate to the average American and it comes through in his writing.
Guest More than 1 year ago
In this book Michael Moore focuses on Bush and how he does not know how to run this country. He talks about his connections to the bin Ladens and the royal families. How they have been in business together for many years now. There so close they even call one of the bin Ladens 'Bander Bush'. Moore explains that he believes that the war is mainly over oil and how we backed out of a pipeline deal over in Saudi Arabia. Moore reffers to President Bush as the home of the whopper. The more juicy lies he feeds to us the more we want to eat it up. He says the Bush stacks one lie on top of another to try to hide the nation from the truth that he screw up. Such as when he said that he watched the first plane crash into the first tower on t.v., when the truth is that no one watched that on t.v. because it wasn't filmed. I don't understand why someone would make such an obvious and pointless lie. Moore talks about how the government likes to keep the American people in fear. That's why I think it was so easily for us to go to war in 2000, we were scared of what was going to happen next.
Scorn9 7 months ago
I love Michael Moore's documentaries - they are funny, reflect on real events and always get my mind moving. With that in mind, picking up this book just seemed so natural! I found a copy at a local charity book sale and I figured, why not read it? Unfortunately, I didn't love it as much as I thought I would have. I really think this book would have been better in film form (for me, anyways). I loved Michael's unique and funny style of crafting the narrative in this book but I just couldn't keep a hold on it. I had to read it a little bit at a time, and some of it just went over my head (that's what I get for keeping up with Canadian politics instead of American). This book takes a look at the September 11th terror attacks and all the strange occurrences around it. The highest praise I can give this book is that it really got me thinking, and that is high praise!! Not often do I get to pick up a book that makes me think and connect the dots. The funny commentary made it even better since it didn't make the book feel like a textbook. If I had history classes with this sort of humor then I would have loved those classes! In my opinion, this book is in a niche market. People are either going to get butt hurt over the funny commentary laced with terrorist attacks or they are not going to understand the humor. Michael Moore has a very specific sense of sarcasm that some people just don't get. I do think this is a great book and if you enjoy Michael's past work, then you'll enjoy this one! If you're easily offended, this book won't be for you! Three out of five stars!
GeorgeBarr on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Michael Moore writes about everything that is wrong with America according to him. As with most of his books, 33% fact 33% fiction, and 34% exploitation.
kikilon on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Sometimes you need to get away from your usual reading. Step away from the fluff. Look at real issues. This was my dose-of-reality book. It's still humorous, but in a different way. And I am moderately interested in politics if they don't involve killing people.
carterchristian1 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Typical Michael Moore. Of course he hates Bush and takes the side of the worker in a quick rundown of Post 9/11. A fun read if this is your kind of stuff.
mjmorrison1971 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
His 2003 follow-up to 'Stupid White Men'. Less angry and more reflective - as a result more interesting. A very interesting reading in the closing stages of the 2008 US election.
madamejeanie on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
You know, I liked what this book had to say, but I didn't really like how MMsaid it. Somebody somewhere has apparently told him he's a comedian andhe's not, but he 'thinks' he is. I could have done without the chapterwhere he thought he was writing as God, for instance, and the one that wassupposed to be an interview between his 100 year old self and a yet to beborn great granddaughter.... Poorly done, very unfunny, and unfortunate, Ithink, because, like Bowling for Columbine, MM has some very importantthings to say in this book concerning America, 9-11, why we are really inIraq, etc. I wish the talking heads on TV would ask the hard questions thathe asks in this book, and stir the whole country up. But, alas, with theinflammatory picture on the front of the book (the statue of Saddam beingtorn down, only this one has George Bush's face on it, with a leering andlaughing Michael Moore just below it) a lot of people won't pick this up andgive it a chance. Middle America, those soccer Moms and Nascar Dads whowill determine the outcome of the next election and who change their mindspolitically with the regularity of the four winds, those are the folks whoneed to read this book. No, they just need to know the truth that iscontained inside this book, the truth that the news media is not talkingabout. But they won't get it and this book will be dismissed as left wingbuffonnery. And that's sad.For content, this book is a 5. But for delivery, I'd have to give it a 2.He could have done so much better than this.
wyvernfriend on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Interesting, provocative and quick reading
Chilperic1 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
His next book on from STUPID WHITE MEN, this book deals much with the Iraq War. Once again, we see a return to his ranting writing style, except this time, any intelligent prose has been eliminated in favour of jumping on the Iraq bandwagon. He also decides that the Coalition of the willing isnt willing because although many major countries joined, some countries didnt! Shock! Horror!All in all, this is difficult to read without an extreme effort on the part of the reader. Be prepared to be faced with narrowminded writing.
rakerman on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Rather unfortunately-named.I say that because the book is really good, and smart, despite its lightweight jokey title.In fact I much preferred the book to what is essentially its "companion movie", F911.The book presents a much stronger case, and has better coverage of the issues.It goes far beyond the material and topics that F911 addresses.
kikianika on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
Sometimes you need to get away from your usual reading. Step away from the fluff. Look at real issues. This was my dose-of-reality book. It's still humorous, but in a different way. And I am moderately interested in politics if they don't involve killing people.
bibliophile26 on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I¿m wondering if Fahrenheit 9/11 is a reiteration of this book, which is a tirade against George W. Bush. Moore over dramatizes the point and presents (some) opinions as facts. If I was on the fence, I¿m not sure if this book would push me over to the liberal side.
Djupstrom on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
If you like Michael Moore, you will enjoy this book. I think it is political humor at his best.
mobilemavericks on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
I was spurred to read this book by Moore because I wanted to learn the thoughts of the man who aimed to overthrow President Bush. Keep it up Michael, all of our government leaders need critical scrutiny of their motives and actions, regardless of the times (post September 11th) or their party affiliation.
TheTwoDs on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is one of those books that you either love or hate, depending on if you agree with its politics or not. Seeing how I gave it 5 stars, you can easily tell where my political affiliations lie.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This guy is a tool an a total waste of human life.  All you have to do is read the book to see for yourself.
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By posting to the rouge Bushfire
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~Ash
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