English as She is Spoke: The New Guide of the Conversation in Portuguese and English

What happens when someone who doesn't speak English attempts to write a Portuguese-English phrasebook? THIS is what happens.

"Nobody can add to the absurdity of this book, nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect." - Mark Twain

"[T]he second chapter is titled 'Familiar Phrases,' and features sentences intended to help the weary Portuguese traveler in everyday conversation. These phrases include classics like 'He has spit in my coat'; 'take that ...