Everybody Is Awful: (Except You!)

Everybody Is Awful: (Except You!)


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A rant-ish memoir by the veteran stand-up comedian and former cohost of That Metal Show, with a foreword by Jim Norton.

Twitter Trolls. Facebook Freaks. Instagram Exhibitionists. These are just a few of the creatures our technology-obsessed culture has spawned in its quest to simplify our lives. The madness is so universal now that everyone has dealt with it. You log in to Facebook, read a stupid post, and immediately want to tell your "friend" to go have relations with himself. Sure, social media may keep us connected, but it is a breeding ground for idiots, and these idiots have crowd-sourced a storm of useless information, corny jokes, and douchebag drama that's wasting our time and screwing with our peace of mind.

Thankfully, popular comedian and television host Jim Florentine has a solution for those of us on the verge of bashing our iPhones to bits. In Everybody Is Awful, Florentine attacks awful people and awful situations with the same biting satire and cringe-worthy humor that made him famous on television shows like Crank Yankers, Meet the Creeps, and That Metal Show.

Along the way, Everybody Is Awful takes readers through the author's formative years, a time filled with rebellion and horrible behavior, to the crazy early days of his career as a stand-up comedian. Florentine also recounts how he developed an obsession with pranks that morphed into his uniquely vigilante style of comedy and made him one of the most legendary prank callers of all time.

Florentine excels at channeling the core rage we all feel at the seemingly small annoyances of life, and his fans love the cathartic experience of his hilarious ranting and raving, a tradition continued in Everybody Is Awful. Acting as a de facto therapist, Florentine diagnoses awful behavior, shames awful people, and offers comedic takes on how to reclaim our lives from it all.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780306825637
Publisher: Hachette Books
Publication date: 02/20/2018
Pages: 272
Product dimensions: 6.10(w) x 9.10(h) x 1.80(d)

About the Author

Jim Florentine, one of the top comedians in the nation, is a former cohost of VH1's That Metal Show and a critically acclaimed actor, seen on Louie starring Louis C.K., Inside Amy Schumer, and in Amy Schumer's hit film Trainwreck. He hosts a popular weekly podcast, Comedy Metal Midgets, and is a featured DJ on Ozzy's Boneyard channel on Sirius XM radio.

Florentine rose to fame with his bestselling recordings Terrorizing Telemarketers and he created and voiced the wildly popular character Special Ed for Comedy Central's Crank Yankers. He won an Emmy for his work on HBO's Inside the NFL and had two Billboard top-ten comedy albums within a single year (Cringe N' Purge and Awful Jokes from My First Comedy Notebook). Florentine lives in New Jersey.

Table of Contents

Foreword Jim Norton vii

Part 1 Awful Facebook

Chapter 1 The Education of an Awfulologist 2

Chapter 2 My First Prank Calls 15

Chapter 3 Construction Stories 35

Chapter 4 Strip Club Paradise 60

Chapter 5 Pranking Like Its 1999 76

Chapter 6 Florentine's Got Talent! 90

Chapter 7 Crank Yankers: The Early Years 112

Part 2 Awful Conversations

Chapter 8 Crazy Concert Stories 136

Chapter 9 Snuff Calls 153

Part 3 Awful Relationships

Chapter 10 Adventures in Home Abortions 170

Chapter 11 Meet the Creeps 188

Chapter 12 My First Murder Confession 207

Chapter 13 That Metal Show 223

Chapter 14 Acting Awful 237

The Awful Afterword 253

Acknowledgments 255

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