Working with amazing people for the past thirteen years led me to recognize what seemed to be consistent themes in people's lives. With each consultation it became clearer that each person wasn't aware of his or her own special wiring. All of them were more tied into what wasn't working rather than what was and more willing to acknowledge their seemingly shortcomings rather than their skills. While I could acknowledge what was amazing in them, they weren't quite there yet. What grew from this experience was knowledge that I could offer a to-go package that would help while on their journey, perhaps holding the energy of their greatness until they were ready to see it. This is that to-go package-a combination of humor, practical advice, and respect for energy that can guide anyone to self-acceptance, empowerment, and the manifestation of the absolute joy life can offer. Learn how to combine all of these elements and live the life you want and know you are meant to have.
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Everyone Has an ITA Guide to Help You Accept, Accentuate, and Appreciate Yours
By VICKI BAIRD
Balboa PressCopyright © 2012 Vicki Baird
All right reserved.
Chapter OneYour Current IT
Identifying what one is currently working on can take a lot of stress out of life. We often push against the energy of change so ignoring what is right in front of us is easy. As one of my brilliant clients said once "but Vicki, it takes a lot of courage to imagine your life different." Yes, it does, but that ability to see different scenarios is the beauty of being human, being eternal, and being a soul. Do you have the courage to see your life different? Do you have the courage to believe that your IT, when brought to light, can actually enhance your life? I believe you do. I believe it because I know everyone has the ability to grow beyond where their current limitations are set and I know that with a little encouragement great height can be attained.
Being willing to look at whatever is feeling out of sorts with us is one of our greatest abilities. To factor, to sort, to delve into the deepest depths and come up with the oyster is what makes being a human so great. We perhaps just need to learn how to do it without judging it so that it doesn't hurt so stinking much and so we can find the joy that life is meant to be. So, are you ready to do that? What if I said I would be here to encourage all along this journey, would that make it easier? I am, so let's get started.
For each question, be as honest as possible.
What in your life do you find annoying?
What would you like to change if you had a magic wand?
How is ignoring the truth helping you right now? If it wasn't filling some kind of need, you wouldn't keep doing it.
Is there ingrained teaching leading the continuation of the behavior or habit?
When I have a current IT I am working on, I can procrastinate with the skill worthy of a PhD in procrastination! What my clients have taught me to do, while in the process of reading for them, is address whatever it is I don't want to do at the time and bring light to it. Often it isn't as scary as it seems. An analogy of this is when a child is scared of a monster in their room, often if you turn on a light it is a sweatshirt they didn't put away. Our internal fears are often the same, when there is a light shown on it though, they are not as scary.
When I do this it no longer has control of me or my day. I may determine the time I spend ignoring it could be used to complete the task such as doing the dishes or writing this chapter!
I may also use my choice to address it later when I am more in enjoyment of what needs doing. When we do something when it doesn't feel right, we introduce resistance to the very thing we were trying to release. So, if we leave it and come back to it when there is less friction, whatever the task is or the fear, it will dissipate so much easier. This requires a bit of flexibility but also an internal commitment that may have to be developed over time. This commitment is one to self. Basically, giving yourself permission to learn as you go so there isn't so much pressure on whatever the task at hand is. It is similar to learning to walk, there are going to be times when you fall on the diaper but be glad it is there and get up again. No name calling, no judgment, just get up and try again. A lot of the times a baby will laugh when they fall. Wouldn't it be great if we could remember that humor when we fall on our proverbial diapers?
So, what is your current IT? What is staring you right in the awareness sector and you are pretending politely to not make eye contact with? I invite you to travel through the following chapters and try the one that jumps out at you when you read the title. Often, it is right in front of us and we aren't even aware we already know what direction to head. If, like in the example above, your it is how others annoy you, well perhaps you can look at each of the annoyances as a teacher to see what it is really about YOU that you aren't so fond of. Often when we point the finger at others it is really our own issues that we are trying to avoid. Try this the next time it comes up. It can be really exciting if you drop the judgment.
Come on, it will be fun, ok, maybe not the WHOLE thing but most of it will be enlightening, freeing and so empowering to meet you and really like who you are. I promise you are great, I know it already and we've just met.
When one hears the words inner truth there can be a cringe that goes through the system. This is a reaction, I believe, that inner truth is harder to find than it really is. Of course, it is going to be different for every person as we are all very different souls but it still is something that is very accessible.
It is my desire that everyone would find this, whatever it is for them, and allow themselves to know that peace and the absolutely, amazing, wonderful feeling that comes from connection with self. This feeling, space, realization, whatever the adjective, is what sustains us. It keeps us striving for more and allows us to expand beyond where we are at any given moment. It is very much our personal gps system guiding us to that whole feeling that our soul knew and knows is possible for every being to achieve.
We are not meant to be stagnant. Every organism that is of this universe is constantly growing and raising its vibrational frequency. We all have a knowing that this is the exciting part of our journey. The constant desire for more. For some this will be in the context of stuff, for others it may be spiritual fulfillment, for others it may be cultivating a talent that comes naturally but they don't really understand. It really is of no matter where that desire manifests itself, it is more that the individual realizes it is great, it is natural and it is something to delve into with excitement.
It has been my experience that we allow fear to hold us back. We allow it to keep us from that place of understanding in self and others. We may have been conditioned to react to good things with a skepticism that wasn't in us when we came into this earthly realm. This may have come from well meaning individuals, from teachers in our lives, both of the traditional variety and the ones that we meet socially along our journey, or from our own ingrained anxiety. Wherever it comes from it is interesting to me that we, over time, become oblivious to the vibration of energy and that fear and excitement actually have the same vibration in the universe. Feel about this for a moment.
Think of a time when you were anxious, nervous or otherwise zinging with energy that felt negative. Ok, other than if you are in a dangerous situation, could that feeling you had been excitement if you had approached the zing differently? If you had taken a moment to really feel it, would it have felt like excitement? Perhaps a new chapter in your life or an opportunity to become clear on the direction your life was taking? Have you gotten into the habit of seeing things from a scary perspective?
We will explore this a bit more in the following chapters where you will learn how to shift that reactive muscle from fear to excitement. It's fun, I promise!
For now let's look at how to find that Inner Truth that seems so elusive. Take a moment to look at what means a lot to you. This will help you to locate the door to that truth.
Is it important that people are honest?
Does it bother you when you feel something or someone has been "wronged"?
Is there an aspect of your personality that you deny out of fear of exposing it to others? I call this the what will people think syndrome.
Do others possess something that you would love to have? This can be in the physical, such as jobs or homes, or it can be in the emotional such as confidence or a sense of peace about them.
If you were to finish this statement what would you say? "If there is one thing I know I stand for it is......."
Ok, have you found the door? Have you found something that you can feel excited about entering? It is completely ok if you have not. You will, I know you will. Keep asking yourself questions until something creates a feeling of excitement. Remember to be aware that if the feeling is anxiety or stress, to look at that as it may really be excitement dressed in another's clothing.
When you find the door, you are then going to utilize the key to unlock the door. This key consists of the abilities you already possess. Those that you may not be aware you have or have overlooked and don't realize how special you really are.
In my groups I have asked many times for those that are participating to do this next exercise and most often they look at me like I have five heads. I am used to that look so for the most part I find it amusing, so if you feel so inclined to say something like has she lost her marbles or she's got to be kidding. Go for it, I can take it.
Take a few moments to write out all of the positive, exciting, joyful, I'm all that and a bag of chips qualities you possess. Yes, all of them. I'll help you get started:
I am at heart a good person.
I love to help others.
I bring joy wherever I go.
I can organize anything.
Animals love me.
I sing, dance, paint, write, sculpt, cook, speak, etc. well.
I have a great sense of humor. (Even if you are the only one who thinks you are funny. ESPECIALLY if you are the only one who thinks you are funny!)
Continue to write as many as you can come up with. Use your daily life to give you inspiration about what you do well but also how you interact with self and others.
Now, when you have that completed and are feeling great about yourself ask three other people to give you their list of who they see you are. Please choose those that are going to be honest as well as complimentary. This is the part where the groups usually groan because it is hard to ask others what they like about ourselves but I promise the result is often amazing. While I know how we feel about ourselves is the most important, I also know that we rarely recognize our greatness and others are often happy to do so if we give them the chance.
Once you have compiled some of this data, sit back and absorb it. Allow yourself to revel in the feeling of positive reinforcement. Too much of our lives are based on a negative motivational response system. We do things because we are afraid of the outcome if we don't but often that garners a completely opposite effect of what we really want in our lives. Energy is energy so what we pay attention to, we get whether that is something seemingly positive or not. When we focus on negative aspects of our personalities it heightens that area so it is my intention to help you re-align and focus on what is great about you and build on it until you know that you have all it takes to connect with your Inner Truth and be willing to live it as well.
There is an interesting aspect to our personalities that can be invigorating as much as it can be incapacitating. This is what I have come to know as the inner trickster. It isn't evil and it isn't particularly bad but it is sometimes VERY annoying. Think of a child when they are being impish. That is the energy of the inner trickster. It wants attention and it is very practiced at getting it. One can look at any human and know that there is an inner trickster in there. They all have their own jobs and focuses but only because we have trained them there. It is often based on how we were raised or what we witnessed along our path as to how our trickster plays.
When we are born, there is an innate trusting to this universe and a feeling that all is in order. Why else would we come in with no teeth, not able to support ourselves and believing that whoever brought us into this world has our best interest at heart? This knowing or trusting is there from the soul level and if we would remember or were taught to listen to it as we grow, there would be no room for an inner trickster to marinate and then become active in our systems. This is often not the case though, I believe it is possible, but for most of us, this wasn't our experience and we must learn to rewire the messages received by those that did bring us in or that raised us to where we are old enough to listen to our own messages.
If one were to be raised with this knowledge, much like the animal kingdom is, our own gps would guide us to the highest experience and it would all be utopia. That may seem like the best case scenario but we actually learn well through contrast and I, for one, am grateful for the teaching it has given me. For instance, my trickster is often caught up in what will be, imagined or otherwise, and will often tell me stories that are so creative IT should be a writer! It has taken me years and will no doubt be an ongoing process of retraining the trickster to find its attention elsewhere rather than in my ego!
It has been my experience that the ego is a representative and encourager of where we are and where we may be going individually. I believe it to be a good thing and something that should pat you on the back and not hold you back. I also see it as an effective tool in alignment. While many teachings may be about separating the ego from yourself I just don't agree that is a good way to go as it is a part of you and if it gets separated, it creates a fear reaction and that doesn't help any situation. I see it as the part we are to learn how to accept, appreciate and sometimes talk to like it is a five year old that needs a nap, lovingly and with a great amount of patience. This patience is what the inner trickster requires as well to quiet its comments and to redirect some of that impish energy.
One of the questions I love so much is, is it true? Is what you are talking about, complaining about, worrying about or imagining, is it true? As we learned earlier, everyone has their own inner truth and it isn't up to us to see it from their angle, only our own but is it true or are you creating something to keep you entertained and feeling activated in your own life? Most often I find that people are so creative and don't give themselves credit for that creativity however, it could be put to better use in being creative for the enjoyment of life rather than the drama of it.
Do you want to quiet the inner trickster and are you willing to live without the adrenaline rush of "oh, no, what do I do now?" I know the first reaction may be, who me? I don't do that but you only have to look at social networking or any of the other blogging sites to see that there is a high propensity and desire for that feeling of fulfillment if only for just a moment. This is similar to the rush achieved when one purchases a great blouse or eats a great piece of pizza or chocolate. It's great to admit it and even better to shift the habit of lining up with the inner trickster.
Here are a few examples of the inner tricksters work and some questions to help you identify if you are dancing with your inner trickster or if you are aware of it and able to acknowledge it as that cute little bugger that quiets down when you don't feed it.
What do you feel is your most creative inner trickster energy? Does it tell you you aren't smart enough? You aren't talented enough or that you lack abilities?
Is there a part of you that immediately agrees with others when they give their opinion even if it is something that you don't agree with?
Do you feel you have to come back with an example of your own drama when someone shares their life? An example of this would be if someone were saying that they had car trouble and what a challenge it was to get the tow truck there and you jump in with an even bigger tale of how difficult it was for you to get your car serviced and the run around that ensued. Bigger is not always better.
Do you have a hard time with the opinions of others and what you "think" they may be saying about you? This one usually brings a big response as we often think people are talking about us when in fact they are so worried about people talking about them that it is rarely the case that they are talking about us. (I know that is a bit of a puzzle but if you read it a few times you will get the humor in it as well. We humans are so funny in our learned behaviors.)
So what can you do to calm the inner trickster and allow it to go take a nap and only be present when you are not doing yourself a favor and growth is probable?
You can distract the inner trickster much like you would a two year old who wanted to climb the cabinets just because he can. A way to do this is by getting busy with anything that fills you up or that keeps you busy and distracted until the feeling of wanting drama to fill that hole. You could go for a walk, you could get creative artistically, you could clean or you could call a friend (NOT to talk about the challenge you are having but to share in their day.). It only takes a short time to redirect that energy that is looking to be filled up.
Excerpted from Everyone Has an IT by VICKI BAIRD Copyright © 2012 by Vicki Baird. Excerpted by permission of Balboa Press. All rights reserved. No part of this excerpt may be reproduced or reprinted without permission in writing from the publisher.
Excerpts are provided by Dial-A-Book Inc. solely for the personal use of visitors to this web site.
Table of Contents
ContentsVicki's Thank you!....................vii
Introduction: What is an IT?....................ix
CHAPTER 1. Your Current IT....................3
CHAPTER 2. Inner Truth....................6
CHAPTER 3. Inner Trickster....................10
CHAPTER 4. Identity Theft....................14
CHAPTER 5. Instant Tragedy....................20
CHAPTER 6. Inner Turmoil....................24
CHAPTER 7. Don't Name It, Claim It or Blame It....................29
CHAPTER 8. Where did I put IT?....................33
CHAPTER 9. Do You Fear It or Get Excited by It?....................37
CHAPTER 10. My IT may not be Your IT, but it's Still an IT....................42
CHAPTER 11. Inspirational Technology....................46
CHAPTER 12. Innate Timing....................50
CHAPTER 13. Shhhhhhhh IT....................54
CHAPTER 14. Intuitive Training....................61
CHAPTER 15. Identifying Talent....................66
CHAPTER 16. Letting Go of It....................70
CHAPTER 17. I Did IT!....................75
CHAPTER 18. Ask For it!....................79
CHAPTER 19. Go for IT!....................82
CHAPTER 20. You've Got IT!....................86