F for Philosopher: A Collection of Funny yet Profound Aphorisms

"We love being mentally strong, but we hate situations that allow us to put our mental strength to good use."

"Some of our problems came to us; some, we went to them."

"Plants are more courageous than almost all human beings: an orange tree would rather die than produce lemons, whereas instead of dying the average person would rather be someone they are not."

"When you are unhappy, happy people are disgusting."

"An expensive coffin does not decrease the deceased's chances of going to hell."

AND...