F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What

F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What

by Matthew Gasteier
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F U, Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What by Matthew Gasteier

Attention, all you clumsy pandas, lovable puffins, huggable bunnies, and penguins that elicit ooohs and aaahs: The jig is up! We have lived under your furry fists for too long.

There is a cute and present danger lurking out there–in the wild, in the zoos, and sometimes even in our very own homes. Spurred on by the Cute Industrial Complex, these cuddly animals have taken over blockbuster films, inspirational posters, and computer desktops everywhere, further weakening the innocent civilians who are beguiled by these fuzzy frauds.

But you are stronger than them, aren’t you? Those soft bellies and wet noses are no match for you–and their free ride has just come to an end.

F U, Penguin is the rallying cry for those who choose to fight these power-hungry cute-mongers. Loaded with color photographs and hilarious commentary, this book will have you laughing out loud while it simultaneously saves you from the tragic fate of tossing yarn with big-eyed kittens and bottle-nursing baby pandas forever.


"Finally, a book for the rest of us! Most animals go about our business without playing to the audience like the elitists exposed in these chapters.I wasn't sure how many more times I could hear about those great penguins and pandas and kittens before I started eating people... well, more people, anyway."—Jerry the Shark

"Penguins killed my parents, and they would not hesitate to kill me. I thank the Crustacean God for Matthew Gasteier, a true saint and a decent human being in a world filled with heartless penguin accomplices."—Dennis the Krill

"It's all true. We're the worst."—Anonymous Penguin

"The average dolphin is far beyond this level of vulgarity, but I could see how this would be a very enjoyable book for humans. I should remember to hand these out to some of my slower relatives at the common ancestor reunion."—Edward the Dolphin

"Thank you for your submission. Unfortunately, this style of book is not something we are currently looking for. However, we wish you the best of luck with your human publishers!"—Danielle the Bear, Editor-in-Chief, Random Cave Publishing

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780345518163
Publisher: Random House Publishing Group
Publication date: 08/25/2009
Edition description: Original
Pages: 240
Product dimensions: 6.22(w) x 9.16(h) x 0.53(d)

About the Author

Matthew Gasteier is the creator of the popular blog, fupenguin.com, which is the basis for this book. He lives in Watertown, Massachusetts. Some of his best friends are penguins.

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F. U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What 3.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 35 reviews.
schmikki More than 1 year ago
I love this book! Just trying to describe it to friends makes me crack up. If I am having a bad day, I can read a couple pages and laugh out loud. If you don't like "strong language", maybe you shouldn't purchase a book with "F U" in the title. This book is hilarious and fun!
Paige Kloefkorn More than 1 year ago
Laugh-out -loud funny book in which the author takes a stab at people who idolize cute animals! Strong language used however, as seen in the title, and i think that it would still be funny even without the language.
Walter Dodson More than 1 year ago
This is the funny ist thing in the world
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I had this book but I lost it, and now with a nook I can possibly get it again! But back to the matter at hand. This is a must have story. As you can see above I rated it 5/5 stars. I DID THAT FOR A REASON!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Love this book, especially on stressful days.
teachersays More than 1 year ago
A humoruous look at those cute animals that are used to sell just about everything. Yes, we love them. Yes, they are CUTE, but they do seem a little smug. This book is especially fun to read aloud in a group.
Allestia More than 1 year ago
This book was one of the most random yet fun books I have read in a long time. Great to keep on a coffee table to entertain your guests and even yourself. The whole book was funny and creative and kudos to the website that goes along with this book. 5 stars!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I guess this book is a written version of the online blog, but if you want to get someone a good gift that will bring them hours of laughs, get them this book. My husband and I laughed out loud all the way home while I read this book out loud. If you like cute animals and have a good sense of humor, this book will provide much entertainment.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I was flipping through the pages of FU Penguin in Barnes and Noble, and was literally laughing out loud in the bookstore. I bought it for my friend for her birthday, and she LOVED it. Pretty much the book has pictures of the cutest animals you've ever seen, then a page just yelling and cussing out the animal for being so cute. If you get this book, read the page about the prairie dog. Funniest. Page. EVER!!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This is one of the funniest books I've read in a long time. It will literally have you laughing out loud. It's about time someone put these cute animals in their place! I will read this again and again!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I have never read a more sarcastic, funny book. I'm jealous of cute animals, and I HATE HATE HATE penguins especially baby ones who get attention. THEY AREN'T EVEN CUTE THEY LOOK LIKE ASIANS. SERIOUSLY LOOKIT THE ONE ON THE COVER HES FROM ASIA.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Bad langage and very inapropriate for all ages. :(
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Stupid book
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is teaching peaple that cuteanimals struggling to servive are bad it is just horable:(
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Really....no! Ive only read the sample.
Lyndsey Werhane More than 1 year ago
Ispet his name wrong but I am stiil going to call him that
Tanner3153 More than 1 year ago
So cute. this mother f**kin athor is bad.the animals are actually cute, and some are struggeling to live!!!!screw this book, and the author too.
Robert Wesley More than 1 year ago
I liked it its as good as people say it is telling animal whats what like peguins need to walk right and stop jumping of huge pieces of ice ,they mmust want to fly or try to kill themselves
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CatsInSpace More than 1 year ago
I picked up this book recently while browsing the book store and was amused by the title: "F.U., Penguin: Telling Cute Animals What's What." What could appear in such a book? I wondered. I opened randomly to a page and found the caption "I know you can hear me, Fox" above a photo of a sleeping fox with very large ears. Here is what followed: "Fox, let's be real with each other. I know you are pretending to sleep right now, because you can hear beetles walking on sand. So either you can turns those things off, or you are just playing around here. DO YOU THINK THIS IS FUNNY, FOX? DO YOU THINK IT IS A GAME? You better not wake up right when I finish this page, Fox. I will not be happy." Then on the following page is a picture of the fox standing up with the caption, "GODDAMMIT, FOX!" The other 100 or so entries in the book deal with the same sense of humor. Each time a cute animal photo is shown, and then the author degrades or yells at the animal, calling them lazy (a sloth), egotistical (a deer), show-offs (an elephant), or douchebags (a koala). I was laughing out loud in the bookstore just flipping through F.U., Penguin, and knew I had to buy it and share it with others. Everyone I show it to finds themselves snickering, laughing, or wetting their pants. All in all, a fun book to flip through at any time. But it does contain some f**ing language, so don't buy it for kids or your grandma or anything.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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