Find a Place for Me

by Deirdre Fagan

Overview

"…This memoir will burrow down deep into your heart, finding its own place of comfort there. I dare you to be able to put it down."—Noley Reid, author of Pretend We Are Lovely

Find a Place for Me is a memoir about facing a marriage's last act—a spouse's death—as a couple united in mind and holding hands. Deirdre and Bob are married eleven years and have two young children when forty-three-year-old Bob is diagnosed with Amyotrophic Lateral Sclerosis (ALS), also known as Lou Gehrig's Disease. ALS determines the journey their marriage will now take, but Bob and Deirdre are resolute in how they will traverse their remaining months as a couple. Chronicling Bob's illness, Find a Place for Me is also the love story of a happy marriage filled with humor, honesty, and essential conversations. In this moving, tragic, and surprisingly funny book, Deirdre and Bob raise a glass to love and the life each of them has left while learning how to lovingly say goodbye.

Product Details

ISBN-13:	9781646032846
Publisher:	Pact Press
Publication date:	11/01/2022
Sold by:	INDEPENDENT PUB GROUP - EPUB - EBKS
Format:	eBook
Pages:	250
File size:	546 KB

About the Author

Deirdre Fagan is the author of a collection of short stories, The Grief Eater, Adelaide Books (2020), a chapbook of poetry, Have Love, Finishing Line Press (2019), and a reference book, Critical Companion to Robert Frost, Facts on File (2007). Fagan is associate professor and coordinator of creative writing in the English, Literature, and World Languages Department at Ferris State University and has also published in numerous academic and literary journals. Meet her at deirdrefagan.com

Editorial Reviews

2022-05-11
In this memoir, a woman recalls her husband’s battle with Lou Gehrig’s disease.

On Dec. 12, 2011, Fagan was told by her 43-year-old husband, Bob, that he had a “twitch in his arm.” By Dec. 29, he had been diagnosed with amyotrophic lateral sclerosis, a terminal condition with a life expectancy of two to five years. At the time of the diagnosis, both the author and her husband were working as teachers and raising two young children. Fagan was still in mourning after the loss of several close family members. The memoir explains how the couple came to terms with the news that Bob was dying. The author recalls a proactive approach, with Bob eager to “slow” what he referred to as this “ALS fucker” with practices such as juicing. She also openly discusses intimate topics like their sex life and how ALS did not destroy it. Fagan describes Bob’s deteriorating health and mobility but also memorable occasions, such as her husband attending a Rush concert. The book is punctuated with honest conversations in which the couple discuss the future and Bob’s hope that his wife will find another partner after his death. The author also explains with clarity what having ALS means and how it manifests itself: “ALS affects voluntary muscle movements. Put simply, this means that anything you can hold, like your breath or your urine, is affected.” Fagan is a sharply descriptive writer, capable of viscerally capturing the pain of impending loss: “When someone’s skin is your own skin, losing them a bit at a time is like fileting yourself one layer at a time.” Her adoration for Bob is palpable even when she is vividly transporting readers to their saddest and most intimate moments: “He was the best thing that had ever happened to me. He was the reason I was still alive. His gorgeous frame sat on the edge of that bed weeping in the position of The Thinker, sobbing into his hands.” One criticism is that the account ends somewhat abruptly. Readers will want to understand in greater detail how Fagan coped with her grief and moved forward. Still, this thoughtfully conceived book illuminates the complexities and possibilities following an ALS diagnosis.

A frank and affecting ALS account with lucid and at times heartbreaking writing.

Kirkus Reviews