Happy Birthday to . . . Who?: The Definitive No Holds Barred Father's Guide to Surviving Kids' Birthday Parties

There was a time when I had goals and dreams for my life, but now all I do is go to birthday parties. When I’m at these birthday parties, I’ve noticed that the kids have fun and the women yak it up, but the men are as lost as lost could be. They are absolutely miserable. They remind me of the last scenes of the 1962 cult classic Carnival of Souls where all the lifeless spirits just meander around aimlessly—their vital spark gone, their once-twinkling eyes glazed over. During the week, these...