Hiding from the Kids in My Prayer Closet: Finding Grace and Laughter When Motherhood Gets Real

Hiding from the Kids in My Prayer Closet: Finding Grace and Laughter When Motherhood Gets Real

by Jessica Kastner


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Soon after Jessica Kastner became a mother, she wondered if she was the only mom who found pretend play more boring than watching playdough harden and who dreaded yet another friend’s Instagram post of homemade deliciousness.
In Hiding from My Kids in the Prayer Closet, Kastner shares her experience as an “unmom”—a mom who loves her kids more than she loves the daily experience of mothering. She helps readers laugh at the ridiculous, delight in the unpredictable, and enjoy being the mothers God made them to be.

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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780781414845
Publisher: David C Cook
Publication date: 07/01/2017
Pages: 208
Product dimensions: 5.50(w) x 8.25(h) x 0.75(d)

About the Author

Jessica Kastner is an award-winning journalist and a contributor for Beliefnet.com, Huffington Post’s Christianity blog, and CBN.com. As Connecticut’s coordinator for Straight Ahead Ministries, she shares God’s message of hope by leading Bible studies in juvenile detention centers. When she’s not on the trampoline with her three boys in her hometown of Southington, Connecticut, Jessica offers her gritty commentary on Christian life at JessicaKastner.com.

Table of Contents

Prologue 11

This is What Happens When You Stay Home

1 You Know You're an Un-Mom When … 13

2 If This Is How It Starts, It's Gonna Be a Rough Road 19

3 The Mom's Club: A Necessary Evil? 23

4 That Better Not Be My Reflection 29

5 The Attached Child: Wrap This 35

6 From Bebe to Goodwill: Thou Shalt Be Humbled 43

This is What Happens If You Attempt Escape

7 Planes, Trains, and Somebody Shoot Me 47

8 The Trifecta of Tears 53

9 Ode to the Babysitter 61

10 The Great Outdoors: What Were You Thinking? 67

11 Wintertime with Kids: So This Is What Prison Is Like 73

This is What Happens When They Outgrow Their Pull-Ups

12 Daddy's Watching You Today, and Other Lies We Tell Ourselves 79

13 Thongs and Barney Songs 83

14 Batteries: The Other Gold 89

15 Raising a Teen: Because God Has a Sense of Humor 95

16 Science Projects, Fifth-Grade Math, and Other Reasons the Childless Should Celebrate 101

17 "Mom, We Want a Puppy," and Other Words That Will Ruin Your Life 106

This is What Happens When You've Given Up Perfection

18 The Case of the Strong-Willed Child: I Think My Quiver Is Full 111

19 Breaking the Law with the Kids in the Backseat, and Other Moral Dilemmas 119

20 The Proverbs 31 Wife: Now That's a Bit Much 123

21 The Multitasking Puppeteer: Because Daddy Could Never Pull This Off 127

This is What They'll Expose You To

22 The Playdate Heard 'Round the World 133

23 Children's Parties: Where Saturdays Go to Die 137

24 Carnivals, Cub Scouts, and Circle Time: Proof of Your Devotion 143

25 Wanted: Mom Friend with a Tolerance for Filth 147

26 My Little Men 155

This is Why We Have 'Em

27 Stopping to Smell the Roses … Even When They're Eating Them 161

28 Things I Said I'd Never Do … and Then I Had Kids 165

29 For the Single Mommies: Well, at Least You Chose Life 171

Enough of this Foolishness … Bring on the Takeaways!

30 Don't Forget Your Prayer Closet 175

31 Motherhood, Your Art Form 179

32 Our Crowns in Heaven Just Might Be Made of Plastic 185

33 Your Gorgeous Gut 189

34 Let It Go 192

35 If It Ain't Broke … 197

36 Six Things We Learn about God through Having Kids 201

Afterword 205

Acknowledgments 206

What People are Saying About This

Simple Grace Magazine

“Through hilarious retelling of her real-life parenting adventures, Kastner sheds light on the common struggles of raising children and assures readers that God has all of the seemingly impossible messes under control. Kastner’s honest and comforting message reminds us that no one is perfect, and God doesn’t expect us to be. An inspiring book for all Christian parents doing the best they can!”
Simple Grace magazine

Rhonda Rhea

“Loving Hiding from the Kids in My Prayer Closet—a super-fun mommy manifesto that’s relatable and encouraging. I appreciate Jessica Kastner’s way of running all the parenting adventures through a comforting sift of grace. If you ever struggle with feeling you’re a less-than-perfect mom (and come on, don’t we all?), oh, girl, this book!”
Rhonda Rhea, TV personality and author of twelve books, including Fix-Her-Upper and Turtles in the Road

Angelia White

Hiding from the Kids in My Prayer Closet, Jessica Kastner’s book about finding grace in motherhood imperfection, gives readers permission to live in the moment. The book embodies the famous quote ‘Comparison is the thief of joy.’ Instead of focusing on failure, Kastner wants moms to transfer that energy into finding happiness in their own messy, imperfect ways. Even though she might lose track of the school calendar or make dinner from a box, she can still enjoy jumping on the trampoline with her boys or having worship dance parties. Kastner’s tales of imperfect, faith-based motherhood will resonate with moms who feel they don’t always succeed at ‘mothering’ but love the path God has put them on anyway.”
Angelia White, publisher of Hope for Women magazine

SimpleHomeschool.net - Jamie C. Martin

“In this era when we’re constantly told to be more and do more, we need voices like Jessica’s to remind us that we can do less and laugh more instead. With humor and truth, she reminds us to lean on God as we navigate the hard parts of motherhood, even when we feel like the job does not come naturally!”
Jamie C. Martin, cofounder of SimpleHomeschool.net and author of Give Your Child the World

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