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New Age diva Squirrelly Chicane-the hottest channeler the side of Atlantis-has made millions getting high on the afterlife. So when a delegation of Himalayan holy men convince a very stoned Squirrelly that she's an incarnation of the Bunji Lama, she figures ruling their little country would be a kick.

But big bad China is playing a game of turf war-and Tibet is the unlucky first contestant. The holy underdogs hoped that an American national on the throne-even one as nuts as Squirrelly-would...