Table of Contents
Why Honestly Adoption? 9
Part 1 Adoption Conversations
1 Should I adopt? 13
2 Should I foster? 15
3 Should I foster to adopt? 18
4 How should I prepare to be a foster parent? 20
5 What difficulties should I be prepared for as a foster parent? 22
6 I'm not called to foster or adopt, so how can I help? 23
7 Do children need to know they were adopted? 26
8 How can I tell out child he or she was adopted? 27
9 Sometimes I believe a false narrative about out child's adoption What should I do? 28
10 How should I respond to people who praise me for adopting? 31
Part 2 Adoption Relationships
11 Will our child ever love me? 37
12 Will I ever love our child? 38
13 Will our child and I ever have a healthy relationship? 39
14 Will I be able to love our children equally? 40
15 How can we keep out forever children from reeling neglected? 41
16 How can we prepare our forever children before fostering? 42
17 How should we explain foster care to our forever children? 44
18 How can we prepare our forever children to share with foster children? 45
19 What should I do if my forever children are resistant to fostering? 45
20 What should I do if I'm fostering or adopting out of birth order? 46
21 How will fostering change our forever kids? 48
22 Why is open adoption becoming more popular? 49
23 How should we prepare to meet our child's birth parents for the first time? 52
24 How can we maintain an open relationship if our child's birth parents are rarely available? 54
25 How can we include the birth family in a natural way? 56
26 What if our child idealizes his or her birth family? 58
27 How do we maintain a connection with the birth family even when it's difficult? 61
28 How can we support our child when the birth parents terminate their parental rights? 63
29 How can I support the first parents when they lose their parental rights? 65
30 What if safety is a concern? 67
31 What if the birth family cannot connect in a healthy way? 69
32 What if my adult child stops communicating with me? 70
33 How can we initiate a conversation with our child's school about trauma? 72
34 How can we identify people who are not helpful? 73
Part 3 Attachment Parenting
35 Why aren't traditional parenting methods working for us? 81
36 What are some traditional parenting methods to avoid? 83
37 What do kids who have experienced trauma need? 83
38 How can we find the right therapist for our family? 89
39 What should I do when our child acts out and needs discipline? 91
40 How can I encourage my family and close friends to support our parenting style? 93
41 Can we overdo therapeutic parenting? 95
Part 4 Empowering Children
42 Why is it important to empower our children? 99
43 How can I empower our children to face difficult situations? 100
44 How can I empower our children to process the good parts of their story? 102
45 How can we empower children with two families to embrace their own identity? 103
46 How can we reach our kids how to advocate for their own needs? 105
47 How can I empower our children to own their own stories? 108
48 How can I empower our child to have their own relationship with biological family members? 110
49 How can I empower our child to love and care for himself? 111
50 What can I do to help our child endure disappointment? 113
51 How can I empower our child to grieve? 115
52 How can I empower our child to build healthy attachments? 116
53 How can I empower our child to utilize resources as he or she grows older? 117
Part 5 Trauma
54 How will understanding our child's trauma help me as a parent? 121
55 What should I do if I reel afraid of our child's birth family? 123
56 Should I talk about our child's past trauma with them? 125
57 How can I help our child process the hard parts of their story? 126
58 What should I do if our child talks publicly about their trauma? 129
59 How much should I tell teachers about our child's trauma? 130
60 What should I do if professionals disregard our child's prenatal exposure to drugs, alcohol, and trauma? 131
61 What should I do when our child hoards, lies, and steals? 132
62 How should I respond if our child damages property? 133
63 How should I respond when our child provokes other children? 134
64 What should I do when our child acts out against our family pet? 136
65 How can I help our child establish healthy sleeping habits? 137
66 How can I relieve our child's anxiety at bedtime? 139
67 What should I do if our child resists sleeping in his or her own room? 140
68 How can I help a child sleep in our home for the first time? 141
69 How can I teach our child to relax at night without a bottle or other food? 142
70 How can I keep our sleepwalking child safe? 143
71 When a child requires supervision 24 hours a day, how can I keep them safe and rest too? 143
72 How can I help children who have frequent nightmares? 144
73 How can I help a child who wets the bed and then can't go back to sleep? 145
74 What should I do if my toddler wakes up at night and needs me there to fall back asleep? 146
75 What should I do if our child is daytime or nighttime wetting? 146
76 What should I do if our child is hoarding food? 148
77 Why does our child seem lazy? 150
78 What can I do if our child doesn't seem to care about anything? 152
79 What should I do if out child lies about everything? 154
80 How should I handle an older child's tantrum in public? 156
81 What should I do if our child is downloading pornography? 157
82 "What should I do when my teen displays risky behavior? 158
83 Why is my teenager so angry with me? 162
Part 6 A Safety Plan
84 What is a safety plan and how can I create one? 167
85 How can our child follow their safety plan in public without embarrassment? 169
86 What if our adult child cannot be independent? 171
87 What can we do if our child is thinking about or has attempted suicide? 173
Part 7 Self-Care
88 What if I don't want to ask for help? 177
89 What are some simple ways I can practice self-care? 180
90 How can our kids practice self-care? 182
91 How can I care for my marriage? 184
92 How can my spouse and I handle disagreements? 187
93 How can we make the most of our date nights? 189
Part 8 Adoptee Perspectives
94 Do you have a relationship with your biological family? 195
95 Do you celebrate your adoption day? 197
96 How can a family help a new child feel welcome? 199
97 Do you feel like you can talk with your adoptive family about your emotions? 201
98 Do you want your adoptive family to ask questions about your birth family and adoption? 203
99 What do you wish people would stop saying about adoption? 203
100 What should adoptive parents do when others talk about adoption inappropriately? 204
101 Did your name change when you were adopted? 205
