How to Be a Footballer

How to Be a Footballer

by Peter Crouch


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You become a soccer player because you love soccer. And then you are a soccer player, and you’re suddenly in the strangest, most baffling world of all. A world where one teammate comes to training in a bright red suit with matching top-hat, cane, and glasses, without any actual glass in them, and another has so many sports cars they forget they have left a Porsche at the train station. Even when their surname is incorporated in the registration plate. So walk with me into the dressing-room, to find out which players refuse to touch a soccer ball before a game, to discover why a load of millionaires never have any shower gel, and to hear what Cristiano Ronaldo says when he looks at himself in the mirror. We will go into post-match interviews, make fools of ourselves on social media, and try to ensure that we never again pay far too much for a haircut that should have cost ten bucks. We’ll be coached and cajoled by Harry Redknapp, upset Rafa Benitez, and be soothed by the sound of an accordion played by Sven-Goran Eriksson’s assistant Tord Grip. There will be some very bad music and some very bad decisions. I am Peter Crouch. This is How To Be A Footballer. Shall we?

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9781785039782
Publisher: Penguin Random House UK
Publication date: 10/01/2019
Edition description: Reprint
Pages: 320
Sales rank: 236,272
Product dimensions: 5.00(w) x 7.75(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Peter Crouch has been a professional soccer player for 20 years, has earned 42 England caps, has scored more than 100 Premier League goals, and holds the record for the most headed goals in Premier League history. He is the author of Walking Tall.

Table of Contents

Prologue 1

Dressing-rooms 5

Superstitions 15

Cars 29

Defenders 43

Tattoos 53

Training grounds 61

Clothes 77

Volleys 89

Team bus 97

Droughts 105

Celebrations 113

Interviews 131

Houses 141

Transfers 151

Music 169

Abuse 181

Headers 191

Haircuts 207

Goalkeepers 217

Going Out 229

Champions League vs FA Cup 243

Endorsements 251

Hotels 261

Social Media 269

Gerrard 279

Acknowledgements 291

Photo Credits 293

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