How to Be Black

How to Be Black

by Baratunde Thurston


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The Onion’s Baratunde Thurston shares his 30-plus years of expertise in being black, with helpful essays like “How to Be the Black Friend,” “How to Speak for All Black People,” “How To Celebrate Black History Month,” and more, in this satirical guide to race issues—written for black people and those who love them. Audacious, cunning, and razor-sharp, How to Be Black exposes the mass-media’s insidiously racist, monochromatic portrayal of black culture’s richness and variety. Fans of Stuff White People Like, This Week in Blackness, and Ending Racism in About an Hour will be captivated, uplifted, incensed, and inspired by this hilarious and powerful attack on America’s blacklisting of black culture: Baratunde Thurston’s How to Be Black.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780062003225
Publisher: HarperCollins Publishers
Publication date: 10/30/2012
Pages: 272
Sales rank: 134,845
Product dimensions: 5.30(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.80(d)

About the Author

Baratunde Thurston is the director of digital at The Onion, the cofounder of Jack & Jill Politics, a stand-up comedian, and a globe-trotting speaker. He was named one of the 100 most influential African-Americans of 2011 by The Root and one of the 100 most creative people in business by Fast Company magazine. Baratunde resides in Brooklyn and lives on Twitter (@baratunde).

Table of Contents

Introduction: Thanks for Celebrating Black History Month by Acquiring This Book 1

Where Did You Get That Name? 17

When Did You First Realize You Were Black? 23

Mama Thurston 31

How Black Are You? 41

Do You Know What an Oreo Is? 51

Wealth-Related Horse Violence 57

Why Are You Wearing That White Man Over Your Heart? 63

The U.S. Propaganda Machine: A Middle School Paper 69

The White Student Union 75

How to Be The Black Friend 79

How to Speak for All Black People 89

Have You Ever Wanted to Not Be Black? 101

Can You Swim? 109

Going Black to Africa 115

But I Don't Want to Kill People 125

Being Black at Harvard 133

How to Be The Black Employee 147

How to Be The Angry Negro 171

How to Be The (Next) Black President 179

How's That Post-Racial Thing Working Out for Ya? 201

The Future of Blackness 209

Afterword: Race Work and Art-The Black Panel Speaks 225

Acknowledgments 253

What People are Saying About This

Christian Lander

“One of the smartest and funniest books I’ve ever read.”

Customer Reviews

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How to Be Black 3.8 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 47 reviews.
AvidReider More than 1 year ago
So far as *How To Be Black* goes, buy it! It's excellent. You don't have to be black, Baratunde lets non-black people read it too! I'm one of them, and I not only enjoyed it immensely, but learned a lot and was humbled a bit, too. I'm grateful he decided to write this book. 5 stars for the book itself. But buy it as a physical BOOK, not an e-book. Because as good as Thurston's book is, Barnes & Noble's e-book implementation is not - maybe 2 stars. Why? Because not all the features worked when I read it on my Nook Color (up-to-date with the latest software) - none of the videos played, for instance. The pages turned, at least on my Nook. But not so on my Android tablet using the B&N app. I couldn't even open the book there! When you're charged this much for an e-book, which costs them what - a few cents? - to send you, I expect the "enhancements" to work perfectly when it's on the device for which it was intended. And I should be able to at least read it on my other devices. Not so in this case. Great book, poor e-book implementation. Fail. Not acceptable. Game over! Sorry, B&N, but this Nook owner will tread much more carefully before making another expensive purchase from your store. If you're looking to buy this book, I recommend it highly. But buy the book, and let the "enhanced" e-book alone. It wasn't worth the money to me.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I know the title might throw a lot of people off and might even turn people off from reading a few sample pages. This book attempts to go beyond the stereotypes of what people might see on tv and in movies. The different insights are great. No group is a monolith. Eveyone has different experiences, different perspectives, and different personal struggles. That being said, if past experience proves correct, most of the reviews here will be by those who have not read a page of this book but are only making assumptions based on the title.
QueenofAttolia More than 1 year ago
Seriously, this is a very funny book by a very funny guy. Baratunde takes a sensitive and potentially explosive topic (race relations) and puts a satirical spin on it. The chapters are a combination of advice and (sometimes painful) personal experience. I'm giving it as a gift to the white people in my life...which is, well, all of them....
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
1. FIRST OFF. Okay, to the people ranting about how a book can't make you black, you are so uninformed and are wasting your time. This book is playful, sarcastic, hilarious, and if you recognized the cynicism in the description and title then you would know he makes some of the same points you're making. I HAVE ACTUALLY READ THIS BOOK. So i can make a testament to that. 2. This book is fantastic. You will laugh harder than you thought you could laugh from a nonfiction autobiography! 3. Baratunde is an extremely talented and witty writer but does not let his jokes and humor compromise how well he writes. 4. I'm African American but I KNOW that this book would be enjoyed by every kind of person! READ IT!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I first heard about this book when the author was on NPR. He was funny but also addressed some serious issues. If you liike edgy and thoughtful humor you will like this book. Great read for the hip thirty something crowd. If you have a black friend or are thinking about getting one read this book. If you enjoyed stuff white people like then this book is for you. If you want to be the next black president you should read this book. Good stuff.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Okay so ive only read the sample, so far and it seem sto promise a very good book. After reading all of the negative reviews, i notices some came after only reading the title of the book. Come on people!! At least read the sample first. I heard him on NPR and had to find this book!
AnnieBM More than 1 year ago
I read this book having heard an interview with Baratunde Thurston. I did not really know about him prior to the interview. I am a fairly liberal and well educated white person. But I always have more to learn and I am very interested in other people's experience. That being said, I believe I missed much of the humor and wit in this book because it hit a bit close to home. I am thankful for that -- it is so often difficult to see one's own fault. The book is well presented and I liked the inclusion of other voices as well as the Shakespeare quotes that weren't.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Excellent book! If you gave it one star based on its title, shame on you! Ever heard the expression "don't judge a book by its cover"? Don't worry, the book is not truly intended to be a manual for white people on how to be black, nor is it a primer for blacks on how to behave. If you actually read even just the beginning, you would see that It is an intentionally shockingly titled, thought provoking, sarcastic, funny, poignant, part satire, part memoir that challenges us to rethink the labels that society is so quick to place on people. You do not have to share the author's political views to enjoy the book, actually, that's part of the idea. "Blackness" is not one dimensional. It is as faceted, and varied as the faces of those who make up its spectrum. The book is well worth the read, but I highly recommend the audiobook version. It is read by the author, and provides a much fuller experience. After you read it, this is one to keep around as an excellent conversation starter!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I bought this book before I got my nook. I spent more than 20 minutes in the book aisle of Target reading it; I had to buy it! It is humorous, poignantly honest and revealing; reminiscent of my own upbringing, adolescence, college life, parenting and work place experiences. Don't let the title bother you; that's actually the draw. It is definitely a book for all to enjoy!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
First of all to the "hatters" who are all upset about the title of the book, and haven't even read it, get over yourselves! The book is written by a comedian. It isn't meant to be an instruction manual nor is it racist. It's meant to be humorous. Remember humor? From Richard Pryor to Steve Harvey, humor is how we Black folks have dealt with many of the daily challenges that would otherwise have us rioting in the streets. Secondly, this book points out how we precieve ourselves and others as Black people and how others precieve us. Read the book before you jump to judgements. You may find you see some of yourself in the people depicte, you may even learn something about what other Black people have struggled through, you might even find yourself laughing and maybe, just maybe, that will help you get through all the other crap we have to go through.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book is hilarious. Thurston is a very talented author and he really appeals to all audiences (black and white). I shared this book with my classmates (high school), and hey all wanted to take the book home with them. A great read for all ages and races, Baratunde Thurston's How to Be Black is an amazing satirical read and I give it 5 stars!
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Loved reading this. I recommend it to all my friends.
annbury on LibraryThing More than 1 year ago
This is a funny and illuminating book, focused mostly on Mr. Thurston's childhood and education, which offered him varied experiences, to say the least. He seems to have come out of it with a keen yet generous sense of humor, and with a positive approach. More, please!
GFio More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Obviously fabricated sales (NY Times Bestseller... I guess getting on that list doesn't mean too much anymore) and publishing agent manufactured reviews with all the flowery verbose positivity 5 stars always overwhelming across multiple pay-to-review sites like Amazon with a few negatives sprinkled. Mr. Thurston is much more equipped at writing a something called How To Be White since that is the audience and company whose acceptance and adoration he clearly desires. This guy is as fake as they come... and his trite attempts at clever humor regularly fall flat, but he does have a great publicity machine that makes him look mildly passable as not such a hollow shell of shallow drivel that bores tears out of most anyone with at least half a brain.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
A chapter from this book was assigned for one of my college courses. My initial reaction was, "I have GOT to read the rest of this book!" I literally read excerpts several times out Ioud for my family and friends because it was SO hilarious. I enjoyed the mix of humor and information about how African-Americans are perceived.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
blackstar pads in ( blacknight why did you leave us you never asked i had to send blackpelt after you i dont know how but he found you what do you have to say for your self)
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
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Anonymous More than 1 year ago
This book was very insightful and funny
MadisonJMonroe More than 1 year ago
This is hands down my new favorite book. It is so sarcastic and I feel like the author actually knows who I am because he is clearly writing the story of my life lol. Just kidding but he does accurately create a satire about what it's like to be "Black in a Corporate America", what it's like to be "Black in Private School", and what's it's like to just be him. I love this book so much. I bought the Nook book but I plan on buying the physical book in hopes that it will be a bedtime story to my kids in the far future lol!