I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain

I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain

by Mike Bechtle


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What Is He Really Thinking?

When a woman begins a relationship with a man, she may think she's found her knight in shining armor. As the relationship continues, that armor can begin to feel like a barricade she just can't get past it. What's he hiding in there, anyway?

Relationship and communication expert Mike Bechtle offers women an insider's guide to the puzzling male brain. Simple and practical, this book provides women with a roadmap for better conversations and improved relationships. Bechtle reminds readers that men and women share many similarities, and by embracing those similarities they can better deal with differences. He explains how men think, act, communicate, and grow in relationships, and even offers tips for communicating in a toxic relationship.

Wives, girlfriends, mothers, daughters, friends, and coworkers will find real help within these pages.

Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780800723835
Publisher: Baker Publishing Group
Publication date: 08/02/2016
Pages: 224
Sales rank: 1,239,784
Product dimensions: 5.40(w) x 8.40(h) x 0.60(d)

About the Author

Dr. Mike Bechtle (EdD, Arizona State University) is the author of People Can't Drive You Crazy If You Don't Give Them the Keys, How to Communicate with Confidence, and You Can't Text a Tough Conversation. His articles have appeared in publications such as Writer's Digest, Pastors.com, and Entrepreneur. A frequent speaker, Bechtle lives in California. Learn more at www.mikebechtle.com.

Table of Contents

Acknowledgments 9

Introduction: Talking into Thin Air 11

Part 1 The Care and Feeding of a Mao 23

1 Men Are from Earth, Women Are from Earth 25

2 What He Wants You to Know 37

Part 2 How He Thinks 47

3 Gray Matters 49

4 Men Are just Tall Boys 61

5 Man on a Mission 71

Part 3 How He Ms 83

6 Why He Can't See Dirt 85

7 Your Knight in Rusting Armor 97

8 Unconditional Like 109

Part 4 How He Communicates 125

9 Do Guys Even Have Feelings? 127

10 The Silent Partner 139

11 Conflict without Combat 151

Part 5 How He Grows 165

12 The Lone Ranger in Relationships 167

13 Turning Two into a Team 179

14 Relationship Red Flags 189

15 Strategies for Happy Endings 199

Notes 211

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I Wish He Had Come with Instructions: The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain 4.5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 4 reviews.
lolly-pops More than 1 year ago
My thoughts: First, the disclaimer. "I was provided a free paperback copy of this book. All opinions are my own." That done, I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS intrigued me. Not that I need instructions. I've been married to the same man for 30 years and have two grown sons. I understand men. I can read my husband and both sons' thoughts by just looking at them. Sometimes by the tone of their voice. But my oldest son is thinking about getting married and the girl he has his eye on will be in the same boot I was in when I married. Why does he want to go play basketball with the guys instead of going to the mall with me? Doesn't he love me anymore? Why doesn't he know how to clean (fill in the blank)? Didn't his mama teach him anything? I showed him where the laundry room is several times--why does his stinky, dirty socks keep being taken off and left balled up in the living room? I could go on. But I won't. You get the picture. This book has common sense approaches that teach women that some men really don't see dirt. They see nothing wrong and don't understand what's wrong with the room that you asked them to clean. I say some men because one of my sons probably is more meticulous than I am. Of course, he's in the military and everything has to be kept just so. That spills over into his everyday life. This book explains the term "Man on a mission" and also illustrates that men are just tall boys. But aside from the fun stuff, it also teaches you how to work together as a team and how to spot and treat hot spots that might cause problems in the marriage. So you want to know why this intelligent man who wowed you with his knowledge in study hall suddenly turns into a monkey at a foot ball game or starts thumping a book loudly instead of clapping or does other stuff that makes you wonder what just happened... its okay. Its normal. Men are just tall boys. And just a tiny tip -- men respond well to compliments and encouragement. They thrive on it. And that is just a couple of the nuggets of wisdom in this book. If you are engaged or newly married (or know someone who is) then pick up a copy of I WISH HE HAD COME WITH INSTRUCTIONS. You'll be glad you did.
StacyA64 More than 1 year ago
I don't know what I was expecting when I opened the pages of I Wish He Had Come With Instructions - The Woman's Guide to a Man's Brain, something dry...probably boring...most likely very technical. So, imagine my surprise and joy to find a very readable book! Mike Bechtle has taken what could be a complicated subjected weighed down with scientific facts and made it something that anyone can understand and gain insight from and he's made it pretty entertaining, too. First, Bechtle encourages the reader to appreciate and even celebrate the differences in the way men and women think and act or react. An unexpected outcome of that first chapter was learning a lot about myself as a woman and how my actions affect the men in my life. As it turns out, most of the chapters are like that. Bechtle would explain how the male mind works on something and I would immediately start seeing how I've been acting with regard to that male mindset and know if I need to change anything. Most of the time the answer was "yes." This really was a great read and I'd recommend it to any woman who has ever wondered "What is wrong with him?" You'll find yourself nodding in agreement with many of the examples and the ah-ha! moments are many. I'm not saying it will save a relationship that's on the rocks, but it just might keep one from ending up there by teaching you how to communicate with your man...and give you an understanding of the "dumb" things he does and what motivates him.
HelenM0 More than 1 year ago
I Wish He Had Come With Instructions, written by Mike Bechtle, is a book written to help us women take a peak inside our man's brain. It is a suggestion for how to approach the man in our lives. This book has man good points in it. The author points out the physical difference between the man's brain and the woman's brain. He also points out how this makes the difference for how men and women act. The author has several topic that he points out to the reads. Some of them include, what men want women to know, myths about men and how men communicate. The author also points out a few things that we as women can do to develop a satisfying relationship with our man. Those include: Constantly look through his eyes to see his perspective. Waste time together. Make laughter a priority in your relationship. Show him respect whenever you can, in little and big ways. Clarify expectations. Take care of yourself. Be intentional. The title of this book is what made me decide to read it. And my husband had a good laugh about it. The author has a humorous approach to writing this book. The one we laughed about was the process of putting together do-it-yourself furniture. The author writes out the steps: open the box, look for instructions (or at least the wife does), lay out the pieces, try to follow instructions, get frustrated, eat cookies. I appreciate the author pointing out that we cannot change our man, as so many women try to do. We can develop a better relationship by trying to understand our man and working with that. The part in the book that stands out to me is that most men would rather make a difference in others lives. They want to make an impact at work as well as at home, and with family and friends. Men want to be heroes to the people in their lives who matter to them. Above all else, that includes the women in their lives. I especially appreciate the authors pointing out that this is not a book to help a troubled relationship, that no book can. The author stress the importance for good communication and gives guidance on developing good communication skills to avoid placing blame. I received a copy of this book from Revell Publishing for an honest review. 224 Pages ISBN: 9780800723835 Publisher: Revell Publishing
summer_no9 More than 1 year ago
I was very surprise all the details that the Author had been pull together about the care and feeling of a man, how he thinks, how he acts, how he communicates and how he grows We all know that the human is the most had a complicate for everything in this world and we are had been trying to many way to communicate and make more understanding to each other. It’s was a very new experience for me and I had been learn a lot to getting to know the man that I love and care about him. I hope this book will helping and healing other relationship with everybody else too.