Congratulations. Somebody you care about is adopting or has adopted. This makes you a member of their adoption circle. And as a member of that circle, you deserve information and insights into adoption - from a perspective that addresses your particular interests and concerns.
This is the adoption book for grandparents and friends, neighbors and colleagues, and aunts and uncles of adoptive families.
Whether you're excited or worried, committed or a bit reluctant, experienced or unfamiliar with adoption, In On It is an informative, friendly and very useful adoption guide for anyone touched by adoption. Welcome.
In On it explains:
What is it really like to adopt these days"
What's it like to be an adoptive family"
How can I help and support my loved ones during their adoption process (even if I'm still questioning and learning myself)"
How can I help after they've become an adoptive family"
I have questions about the adoption and about the child. What's private and what's public" What's tactful and what's touchy"
How can I respond to other people's questions and comments about adoption"
What role can I have in the adoption"
What can I look forward to"
|Publisher:||Fig Press, LLC|
|Product dimensions:||5.70(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.50(d)|
About the Author
Table of Contents
Introduction: People in grocery stores 1
1 Deciding to adopt 11
2 Adoption and loss 31
3 The adoption process: Fingerprints, documents, and the Wait 51
4 Digging deeper: Beyond the paperwork 71
5 Welcoming the whole child: Personal histories 91
6 The child's right to privacy 107
7 Talking about adoption 115
8 People will ask you questions: Representing the child and adoption 129
9 Both an adoptive family and just another family 143
Conclusion: You're in on it, too 153
Conversation starters: Questions to prompt discussion 156
Additional adoption resources for friends and relatives 159
What People are Saying About This
Thoughtful and engaging, O'Toole here offers up easy-to-read practical advice for close friends and loved ones of a newly adoptive family. Her insights brilliantly compile the extensive current literature and thinking on adoption, yet all the while O'Toole maintains a supportive, conversant style. She opens up the adoption dialogue in encompassing considerations from all sides of the triad - so that the adoption constellation can shine brightly for the adopted child. This book is not just helpful but necessary, given that the most recent studies by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute clearly demonstrate that what the relatives and close friends of adoptive families say or do about adoption matters greatly. Adoptive parents will want a copy for every grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin and friend who are about to be "in on it." --(Kate St. Vincent Vogl, speaker at national and international adoption conventions, author of Lost & Found: A Memoir of Mothers)
In On It addresses the complex and emotional experience of adoption with humor and respect, opening a path for friends and relatives to become insiders to the process. This book will remain on my �recommended reading� list for adoptive families and their friends. --(Janna Annest, adoptive parent and adoption law columnist, Adoptive Families Magazine)
Excellent. Practical and sensitive wisdom for anyone supporting a loved one�s adoption process.--( Corrie L. Wold, MSW, LISW, Information and Education Director, Children�s Home Society and Family Services, Minneapolis)
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
IN ON IT is ESSENTIAL (not just suggested) reading for any couple journeying toward a first time adoption who wishes to be understood. Presented in highly readable and accessible form,IN ON IT does not shy away from the tough questions of adoption for all involved, be they extended family members or friends. In an affirming and respectful manner, IN ON IT provides on-the-target suggestions for those who wish to offer respectful support on this adoptive journey but may not know quite what to do or what to say. We adopted our first child 32 years ago. HOW WE WISH something like IN ON IT would have been available to us to have for family and friends. Adoption is a tilt-a-whirl swirl of excitement/confusion for ALL involved. Believe us when we suggest strongly that you NOT MISS this opportunity to read this book and begin to truly understand the adoptive journey. We suggest you buy two copies: one to read yourself and one to give away. You will be SO happy that you spent the money and did the reading.
In On It is the recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom's Choice Awards honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, Ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times Best-Selling Author; and LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books. Parents and educators look for the Mom's Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families.
I found this book to provide good general information on adoption, issues to be aware of, how to handle tough questions, etc. I highly recommend it for the family and friends of an adopting family as it will help them to understand some of what the adopting family has gone through and will go through. It's an easy read and you can skip or skim over sections that don't pertain to your situation (i.e., domestic vs. international).