In on It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption: A Guide for Relatives and Friends

In on It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You to Know About Adoption: A Guide for Relatives and Friends

by Elisabeth O'Toole


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Product Details

ISBN-13: 9780982876503
Publisher: Fig Press, LLC
Publication date: 10/06/2010
Pages: 184
Sales rank: 296,513
Product dimensions: 5.70(w) x 7.90(h) x 0.50(d)

About the Author

Elisabeth O�Toole, M.Ed., is a writer and mother of three children through adoption. She holds degrees from Northwestern University and Colorado State University and resides with her family in St. Paul, MN.

Table of Contents

Introduction: People in grocery stores 1

1 Deciding to adopt 11

2 Adoption and loss 31

3 The adoption process: Fingerprints, documents, and the Wait 51

4 Digging deeper: Beyond the paperwork 71

5 Welcoming the whole child: Personal histories 91

6 The child's right to privacy 107

7 Talking about adoption 115

8 People will ask you questions: Representing the child and adoption 129

9 Both an adoptive family and just another family 143

Conclusion: You're in on it, too 153

Conversation starters: Questions to prompt discussion 156

Additional adoption resources for friends and relatives 159

Acknowledgments 166

Index 168

What People are Saying About This

Kate St. Vincent Vogl

Thoughtful and engaging, O'Toole here offers up easy-to-read practical advice for close friends and loved ones of a newly adoptive family. Her insights brilliantly compile the extensive current literature and thinking on adoption, yet all the while O'Toole maintains a supportive, conversant style. She opens up the adoption dialogue in encompassing considerations from all sides of the triad - so that the adoption constellation can shine brightly for the adopted child. This book is not just helpful but necessary, given that the most recent studies by the Evan B. Donaldson Adoption Institute clearly demonstrate that what the relatives and close friends of adoptive families say or do about adoption matters greatly. Adoptive parents will want a copy for every grandparent, aunt, uncle, cousin and friend who are about to be "in on it." --(Kate St. Vincent Vogl, speaker at national and international adoption conventions, author of Lost & Found: A Memoir of Mothers)

Janna Annest

In On It addresses the complex and emotional experience of adoption with humor and respect, opening a path for friends and relatives to become insiders to the process. This book will remain on my �recommended reading� list for adoptive families and their friends. --(Janna Annest, adoptive parent and adoption law columnist, Adoptive Families Magazine)

Corrie L. Wold

Excellent. Practical and sensitive wisdom for anyone supporting a loved one�s adoption process.--( Corrie L. Wold, MSW, LISW, Information and Education Director, Children�s Home Society and Family Services, Minneapolis)

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In On It: What Adoptive Parents Would Like You To Know About Adoption. A Guide for Relatives and Friends 5 out of 5 based on 0 ratings. 3 reviews.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
IN ON IT is ESSENTIAL (not just suggested) reading for any couple journeying toward a first time adoption who wishes to be understood. Presented in highly readable and accessible form,IN ON IT does not shy away from the tough questions of adoption for all involved, be they extended family members or friends. In an affirming and respectful manner, IN ON IT provides on-the-target suggestions for those who wish to offer respectful support on this adoptive journey but may not know quite what to do or what to say. We adopted our first child 32 years ago. HOW WE WISH something like IN ON IT would have been available to us to have for family and friends. Adoption is a tilt-a-whirl swirl of excitement/confusion for ALL involved. Believe us when we suggest strongly that you NOT MISS this opportunity to read this book and begin to truly understand the adoptive journey. We suggest you buy two copies: one to read yourself and one to give away. You will be SO happy that you spent the money and did the reading.
MomsChoiceAwards More than 1 year ago
In On It is the recipient of the prestigious Mom's Choice Award. The Mom's Choice Awards honors excellence in family-friendly media, products and services. An esteemed panel of judges includes education, media and other experts as well as parents, children, librarians, performing artists, producers, medical and business professionals, authors, scientists and others. A sampling of the panel members includes: Dr. Twila C. Liggett, Ten-time Emmy-winner, professor and founder of Reading Rainbow; Julie Aigner-Clark, Creator of Baby Einstein and The Safe Side Project; Jodee Blanco, New York Times Best-Selling Author; and LeAnn Thieman, motivational speaker and coauthor of seven Chicken Soup For The Soul books. Parents and educators look for the Mom's Choice Awards seal in selecting quality materials and products for children and families.
Anonymous More than 1 year ago
I found this book to provide good general information on adoption, issues to be aware of, how to handle tough questions, etc. I highly recommend it for the family and friends of an adopting family as it will help them to understand some of what the adopting family has gone through and will go through. It's an easy read and you can skip or skim over sections that don't pertain to your situation (i.e., domestic vs. international).